Page 88 of Look What You Made Me Do

But then of course, you grew up and I couldn’t protect you from the truth. Nor Cam. Please know that if I could have, I would have. But gossip is rife in small towns and it was only ever going to be a matter of time.

I’m truly sorry, if I could do something else, be something else, I would. But the truth is, I’m good at what I do.

And I love it.

You’ve always made me so proud, darling, but I’m not like you. I didn’t have much schooling nor the brains or patience to work for someone else. I never really had any ambition other than falling in love and being loved and being surrounded by beautiful things.

It’s why you always gave me so much joy and why Cam continues to do so – you two are the most beautiful things I’ve ever done.

I’ve been lucky that men have loved me and allowed me to live in beauty. People in Trently can call it whatever they like – I know the truth.

I give love, darling – and what is more important than love?

Even the young boys, so cocky and full of bravado, leave this place knowing that. They arrive wanting only one thing but leave knowing how to love a woman – truly love her. How to touch her. How to read her. How to appreciate her.

I know that I’ve made you ashamed, but please, darling, don’t be ashamed on my behalf. I’m okay with what I do.

What I am.

Trently, I guess, will be breathing a sigh of relief knowing that I can now be relegated to the annals of history – the dark years when Rachel Lucas preyed on their men. For that I am sorry. I’ve always held my head up in this town and the thought that I will be judged harshly doesn’t sit easily. But, as I said earlier, time shouldn’t be wasted on things you can’t change.

It is my fervent wish that history will treat me kindly but even I’m not fool enough to believe that. I shall have to settle for being notorious – for that is better than slipping from this life without anyone ever having known you existed.

I’m sorry, my darling, that I’m not the Brady Bunch mother you and Cam yearned for and deserved. But I hope you know that I love you and that I’m happy you have the life now that you always wanted.

I know you will take good care of Cameron. He has perhaps suffered even more than you for what I am. I rejoice, knowing that you’ll finally be together.

Be happy, my darling. Remember, life is short. Your loving mother,

Rachel xxx

Ella wasn’t sure how long she stared at the letter after she finished. She was sad.

So very sad.

Jake finished weeding and plonked himself down next to Ella. “You okay?”

Ella handed him the letter and he read it without comment. When he finished, he folded it up and tugged her close, kissing her head. “Pragmatic to the end.”

She nodded and they sat in the patch of sunlight for a while longer.

“Back to Inverboro?” Jake asked eventually.

With a sudden blinding certainty, Ella shook her head. “Back to Levy’s.”

“Ella?” Sol rose to his feet, surprise at seeing her again so soon written across his face. “Is everything alright, dear?”

“It will be,” she said firmly. “I’d like to set up a Rachel Lucas University Scholarship for disadvantaged students at the high school.”

Ella couldn’t change the past but she could see to it that her mother wouldn’t slip from this life without anyone knowing she’d existed. Trently may want to forget Rachel Lucas – but they could all go to hell. She wasn’t rich but she could factor a couple of thousand dollars every year into her budget.

Sol smiled. “Good for you, Ella. Good for you.”

Deluca lost their first playoff game and were knocked out of the competition. After all the excitement of making the playoffs, it was a blow and the team was bitterly disappointed but Ella wasn’t. Her small, down-and-out, hard-luck school had made it all the way to the playoffs in their first year.

And, earlier that day, had scored themselves a ridiculously fancy written invitation to play Chiswick College the following Saturday.

They’d done it. They’d really done it.

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