Page 4 of Look What You Made Me Do

Another hot surge of rage rose in her chest, swelling to tsunami-like proportions, besieging Ella with the very unreasonable urge to pummel her fists against the solid wall of his chest. She didn’t, but they were close enough for her to put her hands on him so she did that instead, laying her palms flat against his pecs.

“They knew me, Jake. This town. These people.” She bunched the fabric tight, rage still simmering beneath her skin. “They knew me better than that.”

His top button was at her eye level and suddenly her frustration found a more constructive outlet.

“I was a valedictorian,” she muttered, her thumb brushing across the stitching.

Jake placed a hand against hers but she batted it away, a red mist fogging her vision. Focusing all her pent-up hostility, she concentrated on the little plastic disk. “I was top of every class for five years straight.”

Her hands shook as she set about undoing it, fumbling like a two-year-old who hadn’t yet learned the art of undressing. When it finally popped, Ella made a triumphant noise in the back of her throat.

“I tutored kids for free,” she told the next button, having as much trouble as the first.

“Ella.”

He placed his hand on hers again but she shook it off and took a deep, calming breath. “I volunteered at the old folks’ home.” The button popped. “I sponsored a child in Africa.” The last disk fell victim to her steadier fingers. “I still do.”

She eyed him squarely. “I was a girl scout.”

“You think I don’t know what it’s like to grow up in a place that ostracizes you for the sins of a parent?” His gaze bored into hers. “How unfair it is? How crazy it can make you?”

Ella knew he knew. Perhaps that was why she was here – because he more than anyone else in this shitty town understood.

“It doesn’t matter what they think, Ella.”

She laughed then. “That’s easy for you to say. You got to become a big famous football star. You can do no wrong around here. I’m still” – she leaned in and whispered in that disparaging tone of voice townsfolk had always used when uttering her mother’s name – “Rachel’s daughter.”

Overwhelmed by the emotion that’d been building since the funeral, she pressed her forehead against his chest, while she battled for control. His skin was warm and smooth and she inhaled deeply. He smelled like beer.

“Ella.”

His voice was husky and sounded a little strained and she shut her eyes at his hesitation. “You don’t want to have sex with me?” She wasn’t sure she could take that kind of rejection today.

He took a shuddery breath. “That’s not what I said.”

Pulling her forehead off his chest, she peered into his face, trying to read his eyes. “So you… do want to?”

“Ella,” he murmured. “It won’t help.”

“Wanna bet?”

“I think doing this the day after you buried your mother is maybe not the wisest way to cope.”

Ella stared at him. Since when had he become so damn smart? “Why don’t you let me decide what’s the healthiest way to cope with my grief?”

Jake was running out of reasons why he shouldn’t just throw caution to the wind like she obviously had. He was trying really hard to do the right thing but Ella’s mood was heady with seething sexuality. Her anger, frustration and grief had morphed into a raw, sexual cocktail.

She needed to burn off some heat. And he was her explosive choice.

It was a stark contrast to her quiet dignity at the funeral yesterday. The townsfolk had been there in full force, their ghoulish delight at Rachel’s demise barely disguised, but she’d weathered it all with a mellow poise that had called every faux mourner to account.

She wasn’t so poised now, though, her troubled blue gaze still clawing at his gut. How often in the years they’d all but silently co-existed had he related to her torment?

Understood her caged misery?

Not one of the people downstairs understood the demons that drove her. But he did.

Which was why this was a bad idea. Because Ella was different. He didn’t know why. She just was. She always had been. The only girl in his fifteen miserable years in this town that had barely looked at him.

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