Page 31 of Look What You Made Me Do

“I hope you’re not comparing, Cam.”

“What?” He snorted. “Compare the saintly Ella to Rachel? No, no, no, I wouldn’t dare.”

Ella dragged in a swift breath at the pure scorn in his voice. There was a whole minefield of emotions behind his words, stuff from Trently that he never talked about no matter what she tried to get him to open up. “I’m not the enemy, Cam.”

“Then prove it.” He was looking her in the eye again. Talking about stuff he had no idea about. Speaking with the confidence of youth – fifteen going on fifty.

“You know,” she said quietly, disappointment and hurt warring for top billing, “it’s been a lot of years since a boy made me feel so cheap. I guess you Trently guys know how to do that really well.”

Ella took no pleasure from the stain that spread across her brother’s cheeks as her rebuke hit its mark and he looked to the ground again. She hoped he was ashamed, that he felt as dirty about making his comment as she did on its receiving end.

“I know you think that I owe you, Cam. That I left you behind in Trently and didn’t care about you. Even though you know I wasn’t aware of your existence.”

Cameron’s mouth tightened. “All you had to do was pick up the phone and call her.”

Ella swallowed, the deep-seated guilt she’d always felt about cutting herself off from Rachel returning. She’d called her mom only once after she’d left and that was to let her know she was in Inverboro and safe and she wasn’t coming back.

Something she’d regretted heavily since finding out about Cam. The underlying ache in his sneered reprimand stuck like barbs in her flesh because he was right. If only she’d made the effort, there wouldn’t be this great gulf yawning between them.

“I think you know that I’m sorry about that.”

She looked at the set of Cameron’s jaw, the bitterness glittering in his gaze. He’d never given her an inch and it looked like he wasn’t about to start.

“Forget it. Just forget it,” he dismissed. “I did alright without you for thirteen years. I don’t need your help now.”

Ella watched as his chest puffed out, looking like the boy of two years ago who’d told her he didn’t need a sister. He didn’t need anyone. To go back to Inverboro and leave him alone. It hurt that after all this time he still felt he had to hide behind that facade. To pretend he didn’t need her.

But for once she wasn’t going to be guilted into backing down. What he’d said was unacceptable.

“I think you’re wrong. I think you do need me. But just for the record, I’m not going to assuage my guilt by getting you something you haven’t earned. And you can hate me for that if you want, that’s fine, but it’s just not the way I operate. You need to achieve things on your own merit.”

She reached across the desk to touch his hand and felt his rejection as a body blow when he snatched it away. “Have a little faith in your abilities, Cam.”

Cameron rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m sure that works out real well in Ella-land but IRL, things aren’t always so fucking peachy.” He pushed up out of his chair and stalked to the door. “Thanks for nothing, sis,” he threw over his shoulder as he yanked it open.

Ella braced herself for the bang as Cameron made his disgruntled exit. He didn’t disappoint, the window rattling from the force.

She sat for a moment, her elbows on the table, her head in her hands, her whole body shaking at the confrontation. She wondered if she was going to lose her lunch as his suggestion that she do a Rachel to secure a spot on the team for him appalled and sickened her all over again.

“Can I come in?”

Ella looked up, startled, to see Jake standing in the doorway, a clipboard in his hands. “Oh. Sorry.” She gestured for him to enter. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

“I noticed Cam leaving here pretty steamed,” he said as he shut the door and sauntered toward her. “Are you okay?”

Ella gave a mirthless laugh and rubbed the back of her neck. “Not really, no.”

He perched on her desk. “Did you argue?”

She regarded him for a long moment, the muscles in his denim-encased thigh moving interestingly in her peripheral vision as his leg swung at the knee. He was wearing another T-shirt that fit snugly over well-defined biceps. His jaw was scruffy as usual, his green eyes probing her with a frankness and intensity that was compelling.

They knew her, those eyes.

“We didn’t yell at each other, if that’s what you mean.”

“But he upset you,” Jake persisted. “What did he say?”

Ella felt absurdly like bursting into tears and wished Rosie was here. She blinked hard, not wanting to cry in front of Jake. She focused on the swing of his knee instead as Cam’s words made her feel dirty all over again.

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