Page 25 of Prognosis Do Over

Bailey shrugged. ‘Because they couldn’t spell their names.’

Lou covered her mouth as both mother and son looked at Will, completely unamused.

‘Tough room,’ he said to Lou.

She bit on the inside of her cheek and gave him her best unamused look as well. This is just the beginning, William.

‘So,’ he said, abandoning all hope of a laugh, ‘how goes it with the bowels?’

‘Still bunged up to the eyeballs,’ said Mrs Hillgate, and proceeded to give Will all the gory details of Bailey’s bowel habits.

‘Did you have an X-ray before coming here, Bailey?’ Will asked.

Bailey nodded. ‘Say, Yes, Doctor, Bailey,’ his mother nagged.

‘Yes, Doctor,’ the boy parroted.

‘I’ll just get it up on the screen,’ said Will, logging in to the X-ray department and loading the latest image of Bailey’s abdomen. ‘Nice bones.’ He whistled. ‘Hey, Bailey, where does a skeleton plug in his toaster?’

‘Don’t know,’ he mumbled.

‘His eye socket,’ said Will, laughing at his own joke. This time Bailey did laugh, which made Will laugh harder still.

‘Are you sure you’re not one of those clown doctors?’ Mrs Hillgate asked in disgust.

Will laughed at Mrs Hillgate, amazed that the woman had actually cracked a joke — even though she’d obviously intended it as an insult. Bailey laughed too.

‘That was not funny, Bailey,’ his mother said.

Will watched the laughter die from the boy’s face. Jeez, lady, I’d be constipated if I lived with you. ‘Sure it was,’ said Will. ‘You’re a funny lady, Mrs Hillgate.’

‘Hmph,’ she said coldly.

‘Seriously, I think you should do stand-up.’

Lou rolled her eyes at him. If Mrs Hillgate had to make a living from comedy she’d starve to death. She tapped her watch impatiently. They had thirty patients to see, and she would be the one to cop the flak if they ran late — not him.

‘The X-ray, Doctor?’ prodded the unimpressed mother.

Will sighed and winked at Bailey, earning a quick grin from the boy. ‘Well, it’s much improved since the last one,’ said Will, pulling up Bailey’s previous X-ray and comparing them. The older one had significant distended loops of bowel, but today’s looked almost normal. ‘I think the current therapy of stool softeners and diet seems to be having an effect.’

‘But he only goes two or three times a week,’ said Mrs Hillgate, not bothering to hide her annoyance.

Will ignored her. ‘Bailey, does it hurt when you open your bowels?’

‘No,’ he said.

‘I think this may just be Bailey’s body finding its own natural rhythm,’ Will said, looking at Mrs Hillgate. ‘As long as Bailey continues to grow and be healthy I think we may need to accept that for Bailey this pattern is normal.’

‘The Hillgates have always had regular bowels,’ the woman said indignantly.

Will almost laughed — until he realised Mrs Hillgate was absolutely serious. Obviously irregular bowel habits were a grave sin.

‘I want a second opinion. I want him to see a specialist.’

Will felt sorry for poor Bailey. Being stuck with a mother who was obsessed with your bowels was tough. He had thought it bad enough that his mother had been obsessed with his grades. Looking back, maybe that hadn’t been too bad.

‘You’re perfectly entitled, of course,’ said Will, ‘I think you’ll be wasting your money, though.’

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