Page 66 of Prognosis Incompatible

But he’d wanted it to be theirs. His and Maddy’s.

‘You’re right,’ he admitted. ‘I had a revelation when I saw that baby on the screen that really pulled me up. I realised that after years of not wanting to be a father that I did want to be one. That I did want a baby. I’ve never felt that way. Never. And it’s because of you. Loving you makes me want things I’ve never wanted before. I wanted it to be our baby on that ultrasound screen. Yours and mine.’

Madeline swallowed hard. His voice was husky with passion. The plea in his voice unmistakable. She let herself think about his child inside her for a moment. A part of him. A family of her own.

It had been so long since she’d been part of a family.

He sounded genuine and despite the dictates of her sensible brain, her heart was flowering, his earlier declaration of love and his admission that he wanted to have babies with her like welcome rain nourishing fragile petals. She felt the bloom swelling in her chest and she wanted to have the chance to nurture it.

But at the same time, her brain urged retreat. How could she put her heart out there again? She’d taken a risk with him and his heat and his passion had warmed her all the way through and it had been fantastic - while it had lasted. But the ending had been awful and she just couldn’t trust him with her heart again.

How could she knowingly get involved with someone still so heavily caught up with his ex-wife? Sex with the ex might be a hip thing to do these days but she couldn’t live like that. How could she trust that he wouldn’t succumb again?

‘And what happens when Tabitha turns up our doorstep one day and you end up in bed together?’

Marcus blinked. Did she really think he would cheat on her? Anger flashed hot and quick through his veins. ‘What?’

‘Well, you’ve obviously had problems in the past, realising you’re divorced,’ she pointed out, trying to stay calm.

‘Let’s get this straight,’ Marcus said, beginning to realise the damage that had been done to Madeline’s trust. ‘What happened between Tab and I was incredibly stupid but I’m not going to apologise for it. I’m sorrier than you can know that you got caught up in the consequences but we were both single and free to sleep with whoever we wanted, including each other. And in the ten years since our divorce it was the only time it ever happened.’

‘How do I know it won’t happen again?’

‘Because I don’t cheat, Maddy. Never.’

She so wanted to believe him. ‘But she’s very attractive.’

‘Listen to me,’ he said, crouching in front of her. ‘I don’t love her, I don’t want her. I only ever want to be with you.’

Madeline looked into his earnest blue eyes and wanted to believe him, but the scene from last night kept replaying in her head and she didn’t want to trust her heart to him and be back in this position ever again.

She sat back in her chair, distancing herself from his presence. Her temples were starting to throb. ‘I don’t know, Marcus. Too much has happened. I can’t think properly.’

Marcus stood, bitterly disappointed that she hadn’t taken him at his word. ‘You shouldn’t have to think,’ he said calmly, trying to be rational. ‘You should know. We’ve been inseparable for six weeks. You should know in your gut. Trust your gut, Maddy.’

Just like a man to simplify the emotion out of it. Madeline shook her head and swallowed the threatening tears. He didn’t get to tell her what she should know. ‘The only thing I know in my gut at the moment is that the man who supposedly loves me is still sexually attracted to his ex-wife.’

Marcus felt that like a hammer between the eyes. How could he convince her that he felt nothing for Tabitha? ‘It wasn’t like that, Maddy. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.’

‘And when another moment comes along?’

He sighed, seeing the confusion in her eyes. She looked utterly torn. Too much had happened and they weren’t getting anywhere by going back over the same ground.

‘I love you, Maddy, and I know you love me, too. We can make this work. Don’t shut me out.’

‘I can’t. You’re asking too much of me. Everyone I’ve loved has left me or let me down. My parents. Abby. Simon. And now you. I should have kept that damn ring on and pretended my life was fine.’

Marcus was horrified at the very thought. ‘Maddy, no.’ She’d been so shut off, so guarded. ‘You can’t seriously want to go back there.’

‘Yes,’ she said, nodding her head vigorously, tears streaming down her face. ‘Because I know how to play that role. There’s two roles I know how to play really well in my life. One is the shut-off Madeline and the other is the grieving Madeline. And I know which hurts less.’

‘Maddy.’

He reached for her but she shrank from it. ‘Get out,’ she said on a sob. ‘Just go. Please, go.’

Marcus opened his mouth to object but he had upset her enough, every tear of hers feeling like a drop of acid searing his flesh. She looked so miserable and it tore at his insides.

So he left. For now anyway. But he’d be back.

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