Page 34 of Prognosis Incompatible

She didn’t think Simon had ever worn a shirt unbuttoned in his whole life.

Madeline focussed on him again, sitting before her, looking genuinely contrite, and knew even a week ago she would have taken him back in a flash.

But that had been then.

Now Marcus had awoken her sexuality and it felt like she was a whole new woman. No way could she ever just settle for going through the motions again.

‘Have you...have you met someone else?’

Madeline started guiltily at his question. ‘No,’ she denied a little too quickly, and swallowed as images of Marcus massaging her practically naked body sprang into her mind.

She hadn’t. And she refused to feel guilty when she’d done nothing wrong. Those erotic dreams came to mind. No, damn it. People were allowed their fantasies.

‘I wouldn’t blame you if you had,’ he said gloomily. ‘I can’t believe how badly I’ve stuffed this up. I do still love you, you know.’

‘Sure.’ Madeline nodded. ‘And I you. But we don’t love each other the way you’re talking about. I love you as a friend. As someone who helped me through some very bad times and knows me probably better than anyone. But that’s not enough, Simon. Not anymore. And if you were really honest with yourself, you’d know that, too.’

‘But maybe if we gave it another try...’

She sighed. ‘OK, Simon, answer me this. What did you feel when you first walked through the door? When you saw me again, for the first time?’

He thought for a moment. ‘I felt home.’

‘Exactly,’ she said gently. ‘After two months apart all you felt was a sense of coming home? You should have felt love and passion and anticipation. You should have heard a symphony in your head. You should have felt like tearing all my clothes off.’

Unbidden, her mind formed an image of Marcus. Now, there was a man whose mere presence made her want to rip fabric.

‘And you didn’t because we just don’t have that type of relationship, Simon.’

‘That’s just lust, Maddy. That’s not important. Not as important as a deep, enduring love.’

‘It is important if you don’t have it, Simon.’ She felt for him. He looked miserable. ‘Don’t you want it, too? Don’t you think you deserve it, Simon? Because you do. You deserve to be with someone who can’t keep their hands off you.’

He smiled a weak smile. ‘That would be nice.’ A few moments passed and then he asked, ‘What did you feel when you saw me?’

‘Surprise,’ she said. ‘And then none of the things that I expected to feel. Like, yes, thank God he’s back. Or, God, he looks so good he’s making my eyes ache and if I don’t kiss him right now I’m going to die. I didn’t feel anything like that.’

He nodded slowly as he got to his feet. Madeline did, too.

‘I’m sorry, Simon.’ She shook her head and shrugged. ‘Are you going to be OK?’

‘Of course,’ he said, smiling sadly. ‘I know you’re right. I guess after a decade together I just...missed you when you weren’t around anymore. Hardly a good basis for a marriage, I suppose.’

Madeline smiled. ‘Look, there is someone out there for you,’ she said. ‘Someone who’s going to make you really happy. And you deserve that, Simon.’

A hot ball of emotion in her chest took her by surprise. It was really over. Ten years of her life and the reality could no longer be ignored. As much as she knew it was the right thing to do, it was still hard saying goodbye to someone who had been such a huge part of her life.

‘I hope we can still be friends,’ she said, ‘there’s too much history to stop being part of each other’s lives.’

‘Of course.’ He smiled. ‘I wouldn’t want it any other way.’ Madeline smiled back and removed his ring from her finger, holding it out to him.

Simon shook his head. ‘Keep it. It’s been on your finger for four years. It belongs to you.’

He held out his arms and she curled the ring into her palm and accepted his parting hug, holding him tight, grateful beyond words to have known him for a decade. But it was impossible to be held by him and not compare. His hands on her back were nice, comforting.

Marcus’s hands made her tremble. Made her hot. Made her needy.

Simon eventually turned and left and she stood staring after him for a long while, the claws of the ring cutting into her palm. To her horror she could feel tears in her eyes. ‘I am not going to cry,’ she muttered. ‘Absolutely not.’

And then promptly burst into tears.

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