Page 48 of Prognosis Baby Daddy

Guilt. Another emotion Katya knew intimately. ‘It sounds to me like they didn’t do it to hurt you, Ben. Maybe they just fell in love? It happens sometimes. They say forgiveness is good for the soul.’

Deep down Ben knew he needed to be able to forgive them. But the image of Mario and Bianca in the garden was etched into his memory. And after years of carrying it around, absolution was a big thing to ask. ‘Like you’ve forgiven yourself?’ he said, fixing her with a hard stare. ‘Forgiven your mother?’

His accusation hit her in the solar plexus and Katya blinked at the sudden turn in the conversation. It struck even harder because she knew he was right.

Ben saw her eyes widen and immediately castigated himself. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘That was uncalled-for.’ He rubbed his hands through his hair. ‘This topic drives me crazy.’

‘Because it’s unresolved?’

‘Because Mario and Bianca are everywhere I go here. At the clinic, at Mamma’s, in the streets of Positano, in the piazza at Ravello. I bought this villa so I could get away from memories of them. This is my sanctuary from the past. Coming back to Italy to fulfil my family duty has been made so much harder because of all the memories. And everything I do here has Mario’s stamp on it. All of it makes me crazy.’

Katya nodded. It must be hard for such a proud man to have to continually face ghosts from an incident that had driven a wedge through his family for a decade. ‘Maybe it’s time to make some new memories?’ she suggested.

Ben glanced at her and realised that, thanks to her, he already had a whole host of new memories. Very, very pleasant ones at that. And with the advent of the baby - his son - even more to come.

He nodded. ‘Hence the clinic,’ he said. ‘Coming back from MedSurg and the poverty-stricken countries I’ve worked in, the opulence and the luxury here seemed so disproportionate. And I kept hearing your voice, nagging in my head, about hedonistic pampered rich people.’

Katya smiled. ‘Nice to know you thought about me.’

‘Oh, I thought about you.’ He chuckled as Katya blushed. ‘Getting the Lucia Trust up and running and finding someone else to take over the management of the rest of the clinic has given me something to focus on that’s truly mine. I’ve been able to blend the old direction with a new one and put my own stamp on it. Made it something other than a vanity clinic for the rich and famous. Made it mine. And I’m proud of that.’

‘As you should be,’ Katya murmured.

Her quiet confirmation meant more than any effusive display. He could tell from her earlier excitement and her involvement with their clients that the clinic had come to mean a lot to her as well. That she was also proud of the work they were doing with the foundation. He was surprised to find that it mattered to him. What she thought of him.

‘But then I go into the gardens and I see Mario everywhere. He loved those gardens. Every nook and cranny reminds me of that day...rounding a corner to see Bianca with Mario...her shirt unbuttoned...’

The rich vein of hurt in his voice made Katya queasy. He may be pretending he’d sworn off love but how true was that when a decade later he couldn’t even bear to talk about what had happened. Was he still in love with her?

A dead woman? Who’d betrayed him?

Something squeezed her heart and the hopelessness of her love was brought into sharp focus.

‘Are you angrier with him or with her?’ she asked.

Ben blinked. No one had asked him that before. And if they had, he probably would have said Bianca. But being forced to confront it now, he realised he was angriest with his brother.

He sighed. ‘Mario, I guess. There are just some lines you don’t cross.’ It felt amazingly cathartic just to admit it.

Katya nodded. She understood a little better now that people were only human, with human failings. ‘Of course, Ben, he was your brother. You idolised him. And he let you down. And then you had to go from hating him to grieving him with no time in the middle for reconciliation. But you can’t get over it by denying he ever existed. Running away from the memories. You need to be able to accept he was human and celebrate his life.’

Ben frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

She shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’ She groped around for an idea. ‘How about some kind of memorial for him and Bianca in the gardens somewhere? Put your own stamp on them, too?’

Ben regarded her seriously and nodded slowly. ‘Maybe.’ He was beginning to think that Mario and Bianca had done him a favour. Had they never betrayed him, he wouldn’t have ever known Katya.

And suddenly he couldn’t imagine being without her.

---