Page 5 of Bodyman

“What are you doing?”

“Conditioned pain modulation,” I’d explained. “Overcoming one stimulus with another to confuse the receptors. Is it working?”

His green eyes had been particularly luminous that day as he’d peered up at me. “My receptors are definitely confused,” he’d responded in a rough whisper.

Our eyes had locked together for a moment. The tension between us was as pervasive as the familiar and delicious scent of him.

I’d moved my thumb down from his eyebrow, tracing his temple, his cheek, his jawline. His eyes widened as my heart thundered in my chest, worrying about his reaction to my inappropriate intimacy.

Neither of us had spoken, but he’d shifted his knees until his legs bracketed mine. He’d lifted his hands from his lap and placed them on my hips. Our eyes had stayed together as I’d moved the tweezer to grasp the final misbehaving eyebrow hair.

“Have dinner with me tonight?” he’d asked, clearly surprising both of us. But then, something in his expression had shuttered. “Sorry. Sorry. Forget I said that. Please.”

I’d clenched my jaw against the desire to argue with him, to demand he take back his take-back and let his original invitation stand.

In the end, it hadn’t mattered. Because halfway through the interview, we’d gotten the message about an incoming weather emergency in California that had derailed the rest of the president’s evening.

By the time everything had settled back into their normal routine, Garner had pretended that moment in the restroom had never happened.

And I’d gone back to biding my time.

CHAPTER EIGHT

GARNER

Since I can’t stand seeing you in pain.

As the low hum of Air Force One’s engines continued, I closed my eyes against the roughness of his voice. Kenan rarely spoke up, and he never gave me his opinion unless I’d specifically asked for it. He’d always made it clear to me he had strong feelings about his proper place as my bodyman, despite my encouragement for him to be more himself around me.

Knowing his emotions were strong enough to make him break his own rules tonight made my emotions even stronger.

“If you’re nice to me, Commander,” I croaked, “I won’t be able to…”

My jaw trembled, and I clamped my teeth together tightly to stop it.

“Garner.” His voice was calmer now, smooth and reassuring. I couldn’t remember the last time he’d said my name. Had I been in law school at the time? The sound of my name on his tongue was my undoing.

An ugly sound escaped my throat as I stepped forward and buried my face in his neck. I wasn’t clearheaded enough to think about what I was doing, about how highly inappropriate it was, considering our positions. In that moment, Kenan was simply Kenan, an old family friend. Someone from back home who knew the real me, the man without the intimidating title and impossible responsibilities.

He was a safe haven, and I needed him for that. Desperately.

His arms came around me quick and tight. He made soothing noises, murmuring words about how I was safe with him, that I could let it go. It was okay. I would be okay.

It wasn’t okay, but for a few moments, I could let it out, the anguish and sorrow. The guilt. I knew it would be just us. I could trust him not to reveal my weakness to anyone else. Kenan Harper was a vault. He’d proven himself time and time again in his role as my personal aide.

I held on to him like he was a parachute thrown at my sternum as I was shoved bodily out of an airplane hatch.

He smelled both familiar and strange. The scent of his deodorant and shampoo was familiar, but I’d rarely been close enough to smell the musky scent of his skin after a long day.

I wanted more. I wanted to inhale it over and over until I was dizzy with it.

Kenan’s hands moved up and down my back, strong and confident. Capable and constant.

I waited for the humiliation to come. It didn’t.

“I’m sorry,” I said, the words muffled against the hot skin of his neck. But they were lies. All lies. I wasn’t sorry. And I didn’t regret it. I’d wanted to hold him, be held by him, for a very long time. And now, I’d finally gotten to do it.

How could I ever let go?

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