Page 71 of Bone Dust

I cut him off. “I’m sure. Drake always used a condom. Even if it had broken when he raped me, the timing would be off. Besides, you have a birthmark on your hip. I saw it tonight. Gigi has the same mark. If we did a test?—”

“Stop.” The word escapes his lips like a blast of wind through a tangle of branches, his fingers combing through his hair like a desperate attempt to hold onto the truth. “And you’ve known this since she was born?”

“Subconsciously, I didn’t want to think she belonged to anyone but me. I didn’t need or want financial help, and I’d just lost my family.” I shrug. “I don’t know … Gigi was my lifeboat.”

“And you didn’t want me to sink it.”

“Yes—well …”

“And you never thought to come to me?”

“How? Why? Every television station and major network was hunting you down and I didn’t know I was pregnant until seven weeks after. I was grieving. I thought my period was off because of shock. Once I realized what was happening, Sam told me my parents had a hefty life insurance policy and I had set up a trust for me. And why would I look for you? You were an addict in rehab. Who knew how long you’d stay clean? Once Gigi made her entrance, she was my world. I didn’t want you in it. Besides, if I approached you for DNA confirmation, the press would have made my life, your life, and Gigi’s, a miserable hell. At the time, I didn’t care what you did with your life, but I wasn’t going to let you screw up hers. I was damned and determined to give her the best one possible—and you’ve heard that cliché about momma bears and cubs? I never thought myself capable of violence, but I would do anything to keep her safe. Anything.”

He studies my face for a moment. “That’s why you acted like a bitch the night I came to Mad Dog.”

“Yes, and I won’t apologize because I was in a completely different headspace at that time. I didn’t want you here. I didn’t know your connection to Sam. There was a small thought—both from excitement and fear—that you somehow remembered me. My imagination ran wild. Then, when you didn't recall me or the song … well, let’s just say my pride made me livid.” I steady my thoughts, trying to carefully choose my words. “It’s obvious I don’t feel that way anymore. Ian, I don’t expect anything from you. Gigi and I are?—”

“My family,” he interjects. “So, stop before you say something stupid.”

“Are you angry?”

“Damn right. You could’ve told me.”

I throw my head back as a quiet, mocking laugh erupts. “Right. Like you would’ve believed me.”

“Maybe. Maybe not,” he shrugs. “I might have insisted on a paternity test, given the stories I’ve heard about guys in other bands, but I had a right to know.”

Instantly, my mood changes. “Rights? You didn’t have any rights,” I angrily insist. “You were a junkie in rehab. You weren’t ‘father’ material. I didn’t want anything from you, and I didn’t want any of that mess around my baby.”

“I could have sent money.”

“I didn’t—and don’t— need your money. Gigi and I are fine.” I look away and take a few cleansing breaths to abate the tension between us. “Look, the fact is, you weren’t good for us then. You weren’t even good for yourself. But there’s a world of difference now. I’ve seen it. More than that, I believe it. I wouldn’t have told you if I thought otherwise. Gigi is the most precious thing in the world to me.” I pause. “Speaking of Gigi, I need to go check on her.”

“I’m going to call Sam. I’m sure he’ll see this on the news, and I want him to know everything’s okay.” He pauses. “Does he know I’m Gigi’s father?”

“I never came out and said so but, when he came to help me after the murder, I went on a crying jag. I blurted out everything. It was like I was emptying my soul. I’m sure something came out about me sleeping with you. In the purge I said things about Drake, the concert, and everything that happened that night … like I said, I was hysterical, and I don’t know what did or didn’t make sense to him, but Sam’s pretty good at piecing things together.” I press my lips together, my posture quickly deflating. “This isn’t how I wanted to tell you.”

He looks at me through tired eyes, yet I see no animosity there. “It’s a lot to take in but we’ll figure it out.”

I push myself away from the table and exit the room, leaving Ian alone to process all that I’ve told him. We’re so different than we were that night. I have no clue what happens next but all we’ve been through has made us the people we are today, and I like who we are. That’s what I hang my hopes on.

I travel down the hall to check on Gigi, lost in my thoughts. When I reach her room, I see an empty crib. Puzzled, I turn and walk to the nurse’s station.

“Excuse me.” A nurse behind the counter looks up. “My daughter, Guiliana, isn’t in her room.”

“Let me check with her nurse.” The woman pushes away from the desk and disappears through a doorway. A few minutes later she returns with another nurse, one I recognize from earlier when she came in to check on Gigi. She approaches me with a puzzled expression.

“Ms. Grace, Gigi’s father said he was taking her to the playroom.”

My heart seizes as terror strikes me like a lightning bolt. I run down the hallway, barely hearing the two women running after me. There’s a pounding rush in my ears as I race toward the playroom doorway, barely catching myself as I skid to a stop and capture the attention of stunned children and parents. I don’t see Gigi.

“Did any of you see a little girl with blonde curls come in here?”

One answers “no” while the others shake their heads. I turn to the nurse who followed me, panic evident in my raised voice.

“How could you let something like this happen? I thought you had strict identification protocols.”

“We do, Ms. Grace,” she says, confused. “Her father was wearing a badge. He said he’d just come from the airport.”

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