Page 33 of Bone Dust

“Dash’s death hit me with a wave of sorrow that took me to an unbearable level of pain. That grief affected everything, especially performances. I spent thousands of dollars to numb the pain. My drinking problem and drug use spiraled out of control. Ticket sales declined. The guys in the band tolerated me, but everyone has their limits—especially when it hits them in the wallet. I was nothing but a burden, or so I believed. I’m sure you can figure out the rest.”

She looks at me with sadness in her eyes and I manage a weak smile as I struggle in the emotional undertow. “Grief isn’t always visible, you know? It really fucked me up.” I flinch, noting the curse word that slipped out of my mouth, and shoot a glance at the back seat. Gigi’s out cold in the back seat. “Sorry. She didn’t hear me.”

“Ian, I’m so sorry.”

Her voice is thick with genuine emotion. I can’t help the small smile that presses at my lips at the realization that she cares. “Thanks.”

“You don’t have to thank me for being human. You’ve been through a lot.”

“Apart from Sam, I’m not used to anyone caring about me. I’m okay now. I’ve rebuilt myself from the inside. I went to counseling; moved to Rock Hills. The ranch has been a place of healing and growth for me. It takes time, for sure, but I’m better. Now, I’m happier Dash lived than sad that he died.”

A sense of peace washes over me when I realize just how far I’ve come. Then I hear a sniffle.

“Are you crying?” We stop for a red light, and I see her swipe at her face.

“It’s just … you had everything.” Her voice strains with emotion.

“I did. Then it was gone. But now, I feel like I have it again, though in a different way. Most people wouldn’t understand unless they’ve been through it …”

“But I have,” she interrupts softly, her eyes filled with empathy. “My parents were murdered.”

My eyes widen with shock and my heart sinks with pity. “Damn.” My stomach twists with sympathy. “I’m so sorry, Savi. That’s tough.”

She nods, her expression pained but resolute. “It is but counseling helped.

Though I’m curious to know more, I go with the switched topic. “Yeah. It does. At first, I thought I looked weak and pathetic, but I needed to deal with the pain.” A wistful smile comes to my lips as a memory rises to the surface. “Then someone wrote me a letter, and it changed things.”

“A letter?” She steals another glance before the light changes.

“Yeah. Someone saw me. Really saw me. It helped me navigate my next steps. I carry it in my wallet.”

“You’ve piqued my interest.”

“It was from Dash’s widow. She reminded me I was loved, and it broke me—in a good way.”

“And now?”

I shrug indifferently. “I work on it every day. Sam helps.”

Savannah’s tone softens, and she sweetly smiles. “That sounds like him.”

I shake my head in amazement. “I have no idea how I lucked out getting Sam for a sponsor. He’s the reason I’m here. He’s become a good friend.”

“And now you have even more friends. Me, Gigi, and, maybe, even Cora.” Her expression turns cheeky and her lips purse. “No, definitely Cora,” she laughs. “There’s no doubt she’s taken a liking to you.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Savannah

“H

ow far out is your house?”

Ian lets out a deep, throaty chuckle. “When I said it was in the next town, I meant on the outskirts. That’s why I offered you gas money.”

“I’ll definitely be relying on the GPS to get me home.”

“It isn’t too far now.”

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