Page 30 of Heartless

Her first ten years of life had been lonely. Homeschooled by a bevy of tutors, she had never learned how to build a real relationship with anyone. Her grandmother had been the one person she had cared for, and that relationship had had a terrible ending. She had managed to forge a few friendships at the exclusive boarding school, but none of them had been sustaining.

When she’d begun her MI6 training, she had been partnered with another trainee. His background couldn’t have been more different from hers. Orphaned young, raised in a series of foster homes, he had managed to claw his way out of a brutal system. Even though there were differences, there had been similarities, too.

Model handsome, with a head full of wavy, blond curls and the sleek frame of a dancer, Simon had been fairy-tale prince material. For a girl with absolutely no experience in navigating the most basic of friendships, a romantic relationship had seemed like a dream come true. Their relationship had advanced beyond mere friendship, and though there had been passion between them, it had never felt intimate, only convenient.

When he’d asked her to marry him, she had seen no reason to say no. They were of the same ilk, working for the same agency, doing the same kind of work. It had just made sense. Within a week of saying yes, she’d regretted her decision. She’d realized she was headed in the direction of being a carbon copy of her parents. She and Simon had been destined to become Glen and Iris Gates 2.0.

She had explained her fears to him, and when he’d not seen a problem with becoming like her parents, she had known she couldn’t go through with it. All her life, she had sworn not to be like them, and here she was, willingly headed toward that end.

After she had broken off their engagement, he had admitted one of his biggest reasons for wanting to marry her had been the influence her parents could have had on his career. Saying goodbye had been easy after that. He had gone on to make a name for himself solo, and she held no grudges.

After falling in love with Hawke, she had realized how insignificant and lame her feelings for Simon had been.

Layla had been her very first genuine friend. She had been the lone woman on the team until Olivia had arrived. They’d taken an instant liking to each other, and Olivia had been able to talk to her about anything. After the team had disbanded, they hadn’t seen each other often, but she and Layla had kept in touch.

When Layla had moved to Nashville, Tennessee, she had called Olivia and told her, but she’d asked her not to tell anyone else. One of her friend’s greatest fears had been that she would be called back to work in that life again. Olivia had never told a soul.

When Layla had been found dead in her apartment, Olivia had admitted to knowing her friend’s whereabouts. And somehow, that had made Hawke think she’d had something to do with Layla’s death?

What kind of person did he think she was?

“Hey. Didn’t think anyone else would be up this early.”

She whirled around in a defensive pose, ready to strike.

Xavier held up his hands. “Whoa. Sorry I startled you.”

She took a step back and blew out a breath. “I’m sorry. Guess my mind was a thousand miles away.”

“No problem.” He gestured to her face. “Those bruises look pretty brutal.”

She hadn’t bothered with makeup, and she was sure she looked like an accident victim, or worse.

“They’re not as painful as they look.”

“I didn’t get to talk to you yesterday. I wanted to apologize for the way I treated you back then.”

“There’s no need, Xavier. Hawke meant a lot to you, and hearing of his death was a blow. I understood.”

“That’s true, but, Olivia, you meant a lot to me, too. I hope you know that.”

She tried to smile but couldn’t get her mouth to cooperate. Without Hawke, she never would have known these people. He had brought her with him when he’d joined OZ. She had always assumed that if anything ever happened to Hawke, they’d expect her to leave. It was one of the reasons she had never made a total commitment to OZ. She’d been Hawke’s partner and his wife. She’d never believed she had much identity to the OZ team other than that.

“Thank you, Xavier. I valued my relationship with each of you.”

Those words had sounded cold and unemotional. She hadn’t meant them that way, but everything with her former teammates felt awkward now. The gap was too great, and she didn’t think she had the strength to repair it.

Thankfully, he didn’t seem to see anything wrong with her response. He swept his arm toward the mountains surrounding them. “Have you ever seen anything more spectacular?”

“No. It’s perfect.”

“Jazz and I usually try to run this trail a couple of times a week. I pounded on her door this morning, but she told me to go away.” He grinned. “She’s grouchy as a bear with a sore paw in the morning.”

She had always believed Xavier and Jazz would someday realize they were meant to be together. Hawke disagreed, saying they saw each other as friends only, that, if anything, Xavier looked upon Jazz as his kid sister. Looking at his face now, Olivia decided there was nothing brotherly about the affection he had for her. She hoped they didn’t let this opportunity pass them by.

Mentally shaking her head at her silly romantic ideas, she asked, “How is she doing? I know she was hurt pretty badly on an op a couple years ago.”

“She’s almost one hundred percent again.”

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