Page 88 of The Retreat

I drag my teeth over my lip and shake my head. “Not at all. Do you know how hot that was?”

A grin curls over Colin’s mouth. “Was it?”

“Unbelievably so.” I press my hips into his. “Look how hard you made me, princess.”

Colin purrs. “Like keeping a secret from Oliver?”

“No.” I shake my head. “I like having something that’s all mine.”

Colin searches my face like he doesn’t quite believe me.

“I’ve shared everything, and more so than even that, I’ve lived in Oliver’s shadow my whole life. He’s always been the golden child, and I’m the spare.” I exhale in a rush of words I’ve never said to anyone except my therapist. “And don’t misunderstand me. I don’t want to be my father’s favorite. I don’t want to take over the family business. I want to be left alone, but that doesn’t mean…” I trail off. I don’t know what it means. I don’t know what I want.

Colin cups my face with one hand, rubbing his thumb over my cheek, but he doesn’t speak.

“Does that bother you?”

“Finish what you were saying,” Colin says, not giving away how he’s feeling. “But that doesn’t mean?” he prompts.

“But that doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of you, or won’t tell him eventually we are—” I’m not sure what we are. “I’m not keeping you a secret. I’m enjoying you to myself.” I move my hand to the side of his neck and bring my lips to his. “Does that bother you?”

He doesn’t answer right away.

“I’ll tell him right now, if you want.”

“No.” His words are short. “It’s nice having something over Oliver.” He puts on a smile, but it doesn’t feel genuine.

“You’re not being honest with me,” I press it, because I can’t handle us not being good. Between the public relationship and training, and the stress, things going to shit with Colin would send me over the edge.

“I’m getting used to all the aspects of our relationship.” Colin wraps his arms around my neck, and I give over to his hug, pressing him into the wall. “It’s not your fault. We’ve both been going through a lot.”

“I like where we are.” I can’t handle him pulling back.

He hugs me tighter. “I do too. I promise. But now you need to get dressed because you can’t be late for your match.”

“I want you on your knees first,” I growl into his ear.

“You’re going to be late.” He rocks against me, shamelessly. “Too bad we don’t have time.”

I nip at his jaw. “How fast can you make me come?”

“Not fast enough for your coach…” He arches, pressing his hard on into me. “You have to go.”

I groan, shoving off the wall and releasing him. “Fine. But we are talking about this later.”

Colin adjusts his cock, meeting my eyes. “Promises, promises. You better win.”

“I’m going to win, and then you’re not allowed clothes for the rest of the night.” I pull off my shirt to torture him as much as he is me.

“The rest of the night?” He grips his cock, but his voice gets coy. “Why?”

“Because I’m sure I’m going to need to mark your pretty ass, and look at it while I use your mouth over and over.”

I take the line for my match. I’m up against a French guy who’s ranked top fifteen in the world. No one expected me to make it this far. Not this early into my being on the team. I love being underestimated. I found a strange joy in it. I’ve always been the one who wasn’t Oliver, so I’m frequently thought to be nicer, weaker, less aggressive. And compared to him, I am, but I’m determined to carve out this space for myself and show everyone how wrong they are.

We take our positions on the line and are asked if we are ready.

“En garde,” the ref calls.

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