Page 114 of The Retreat

“Where is Colin?” I dread where he’s gone.

“I took him home.”

I narrow my eyes at my brother. “Yours or mine?”

“Mine. Because I didn’t want him alone with a concussion,” Oliver says like it’s no big deal.

“Who are you, and why have you replaced my brother?” I put my hand on his forehead, but he throws it off.

“He’s family now.” Oliver slips into the back of our car looking at me like I’m the one acting odd.

“We’ve been married for almost a year and he’s family now?”

“Obviously, since it’s not a faux anymore.” Oliver adjusts his tie and then checks his watch. “I’m going to drop you off and then head to work. We have a meeting with our lawyer this afternoon, but I need to go into the office and handle a few things. Am I wrong to assume you can call your husband out of class? Or shall I do that too?”

I grumble. “I can do it.”

He searches my face, nodding after a few moments. “Do you need my assistance on anything further?”

I look at my hands. They are swollen with flecks of dried blood. “I need my hands checked out—after I see Colin.” If he even wants to see me.

“I already have the concierge doctor stopping by this afternoon.” Oliver inspects them for a moment. “Do you think you broke something?”

I lift my shoulders. I haven’t thought about anything but Colin since last night. “I don’t know.”

Oliver leaves me at his building, and I ride the elevator up in silence. I don’t know what I’m going to say to Colin, or Isaac, or my coach. I feel like I’ve let everyone down. I want to crawl into a hole and die a slow, painful death alone, but I can’t do that before I see Colin. I need to make sure he’s okay, even if he never wants to speak to me again.

Isaac tells me he’s sleeping in my old room, so I slip in there but find the bed empty. If that motherfucker left, but then I see a bit of his foot sticking out under the chaise lounge and smile to myself.

I crawl under there with him, carefully wrapping an arm around him while pressing my chest to his back. He stirs and stiffens.

“It’s me,” I whisper.

He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t pull away either.

“I’m sorry.” I hold back tears, trying to be strong for him.

“It’s not your fault.” Colin sounds detached, and now I know why my therapist gets so concerned when I sound that way.

“I don’t mean your father. I should have killed him. Of course, that’s not my fault. I mean, our fight. I mean, pushing you away instead of talking to you. For closing off and shutting down for weeks. I know what it’s done to you. I was terrified.”

Colin doesn’t reply right away. “What were you terrified of?”

“Being in love with you. I thought we could keep things the same if I fixed my feelings and just kept acting like we were friends who fuck, but I was pushing you away, and I fucked up. It’s fucking scary to be this in love with someone. I know Oliver won’t leave me, but that’s because he’s my brother. You could leave any time, and it would—did—destroy me. I don’t want our marriage to be over.”

Colin twists, trying to look at me, but he winces and his breathing catches. “Ouch.”

“Don’t move. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“I need to see you,” Colin says carefully.

“Careful. Let me move. I’ll go around.” I wriggle out from the chaise in a very unsexy manner and then climb back under facing him.

“Why don’t you want our marriage to be over?” he asks, not looking into my eyes.

“Because you’re my best friend, and the only person I’ve ever wanted to spend every day with. The only person I’ve ever wanted to fuck. And not just because you aren’t sticky…”

He laughs and sucks in a breath, eyes snapping shut as he grabs his ribs. “Don’t make me laugh.”

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