Page 11 of The Retreat

“I’m listening.” As much as a man filled with existential dread could listen to anything, rational or not. I probably won’t know the difference either.

“Our families won’t buy us hiding out. If we were really head over heels in love, we’d be shouting it from the rooftops.” Colin stabs his index finger into my chest.

Warmth filters at the contact. I hate how lonely I am without Oliver here. How much worse it will get when Oliver moves out with Isaac. Fucking humans and their need for contact. Utter rubbish.

I step back, not allowing myself to go there. This is strictly business.

“I hadn’t considered it from that angle. A misjudgment on my part.” I’ve been too concerned about a damn annulment. “So what are you suggesting?”

“We have to play the part, with our families at least.”

“For how long?”

“Some time until they are convinced.” Colin lifts his shoulder. “But if we aren’t fucking smitten, at least my family won’t believe it.”

I swallow, rubbing the place on my chest his finger had been. “I see your counterpoints and will take them into consideration.” I need to clean up the ink before I think about anything else. I wipe my hands on my trousers since they are already beyond repair. “If you’ll excuse me. I need to attend to the ink.” I try to step around Colin, but he steps with me.

“Not so fast.”

“Is there another matter which needs to be discussed? Surely it can wait until I’ve changed my soiled clothes and attended to the mess.” I try again to get around him.

Colin doesn’t let me. “If anyone is going to believe this, you need to come up to speed, and fast.”

“What do you mean?” I balk.

“You have to act like you like me.” Colin lifts his chin, meeting my eyes. “But more than that, you have to be enthusiastic about me.”

I wrinkle my nose, unable to hide my disdain. “I’m depressed. I’m not enthusiastic about anything. Hardly realistic.”

“If I’m not the light of your life, why jump into a marriage?”

“Love is not a cure for depression!” I snap.

“No, but I bet you both our parents think it is, and if you act like this—” He circles his finger at me. “They’ll see right through us.”

I huff, blowing my hair out of my face. “And how do you suggest I fake happiness?”

“Act? Pretend? How were you when you were happy?” I’m sure I look like a deer in headlights, which has Colin scrutinizing me. “You’re kidding me.”

My shoulders creep towards my ears. “I know what craving a toaster bath is like, and I know what numb is like. My doctor keeps telling me numb is better, but I’m not so sure. Toaster bath is at least electrifying.”

Colin blinks but then cracks a smile. “Was that a joke?”

My lips twitch a bit, curling up, but it feels wrong, and I stop it. “Clearly. I can be depressed and funny.”

Colin steps closer, until our chests are touching, mouths an exhale apart. I don’t flinch away from him. I stand my miserable ground, determined to get through this.

And it feels rather nice to be touched. Not that I would admit that to him. Or anyone else.

“You’ve really only been with one person?” Colin’s forearm comes to rest on my shoulder, fingers ghosting up the back of my neck.

“Why would I lie about such a thing?” I find it’s harder to be sarcastic with his breath mingling with mine.

“I don’t know. Oliver seems to lie about everything.”

“I don’t think he lies. He’s insufferable about being right. It’s obnoxious.” I don’t know what to do with my hands, so I shove them into my pockets, ink and all.

“At least we can agree about one thing. See? Progress.” His touch tickles along my hairline, and I fight a full body shudder.

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