Page 44 of The Retreat

He nods carefully, still avoiding my eyes.

“What about dates? I need to get out of the house more. We can spend your dowry.”

He finally meets my gaze, mouth open. “My parents gave you a dowry?!”

“I’m joking. But it wouldn’t surprise me if they tried for your sister.”

He huffs. “Dates would be nice.”

“Anything else?”

“You know what works well for frustration relief?” I can’t help myself. “Orgasms. I would be happy to help you relax, and I can be of full service. You don’t have to do anything.”

“No.” I shove my hand into my hair and pull it so I don’t grab his like I want to.

“Why does sex have to be off the table?” he pushes. “I clearly turn you on at least a little. Don’t fucking deny it.”

I open my mouth to argue, but I couldn’t deny it. He’d made me hard more than a few times, and I won’t admit to what I did in the shower after the last time. “I told you, it’s sticky, and I don’t like it.”

“A blow job might change your mind.” Colin gets up on his tippytoes.

“It won’t.”

Colin presses into me, warm body flush, and mine responds to his. “I turn you on, even if you won’t admit it.”

“You do—” Admitting it felt like swallowing fire. I’m both more turned on and raw. What the fuck am I doing?

Colin narrows his eyes, smirking.

“Stop looking at me like that.” It makes me want to try it for him, and that sounds like the best way to blow this all up. He can’t handle more rejection.

“What are you going to do about it if I don’t?”

“I’m going to fucking make you regret it,” I say through my teeth, suddenly annoyed.

A flicker of amusement shows in Colin’s eyes. “How are you going to make me regret it? You can’t do anything to me I don’t want you to do.” He rocks subtly against me, making me harder.

My teeth lock as my nostrils flare. Why does he have to be so good at pushing my fucking buttons? The worst part is I know how to make him stop.

“It’s not the same,” I say.

“It is the same.”

“No, it’s not.”

Colin shakes his head, smirking a bit.

“What?”

“You can’t say that after one time.”

“I told you, it was sticky and not a good time.”

“I feel like nobody could say that off one experiment.” He grins, all lips, making me wonder what they would feel like.

“Why would I do something again when I didn’t like it the first time?” I ask, curiosity eating at me.

“Because the first time wasn’t with me.” There is a flicker of amusement in his eyes. And I want to get it off his fucking face.

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