Page 41 of The Retreat

“He is on this team with you. He is a fencer and is your husband. So all of this is about him, too.”

“But he’s not the gay guy on the national team.”

Oliver rubs his temples. “I hate to have to be the one to tell you this, but you’re married to a man, which makes you gay.”

“It’s a fucking sham.” I look around. “Why do I have to keep telling people this? Is everyone gaslighting me?”

“You might not be gay-sexual, but you’re at least bi-romantic.”

I give him a flat look. “It doesn’t work that way.”

“Why not? You can be bi-sexual and not bi-romantic. Can’t it be reversed?”

I close one eye, working through what he said. “This seems like a trap. Isn’t that just friendship?”

Oliver lifts his shoulders. “I don’t like labels. Or out or closeted. All of it seems stupid and over complicated to me. None of this should be news.”

“It’s news because it’s important to people to see themselves in others and in their heroes.”

“It’s stupid to make athletes your heroes. Half of us are psycho and the others are frauds. Who else is torturing themselves like that every day, unless they are egomaniacs or hate themselves?” Oliver has a point, and I can’t argue.

“I don’t know why people do it, but it’s not bad for kids to see happy queer people doing big things.”

Oliver looks down his nose in the most condescending way. “You’re making your own argument on why you have to do it, and do a good job at it. Be the most loving out gay guy with Colin on a national stage.” He laughs, and I hate him.

“I need to get hit by a bus for real.” I put my head in my hands.

“I need to get you a Pez dispenser of Xanax.”

“Is that allowed?” I ask.

“It is. You can still take all your medication. I checked with the team doctor.” He types something into his keyboard. “How is the new apartment?”

“It’s good. Getting used to living with someone else is weird. Is it that way with you and Isaac?”

Oliver looks up. “Huh?”

“Is it weird to live with a stranger?” I ask again.

Oliver gives me a confused look. “He’s not a stranger.”

“Yes, but he’s a new person living with you. Isn’t it weird to get used to all his habits?” I rephrase because Oliver is so weird about things.

“I just tell him to stop his habits. So it doesn’t bother me.”

I blink. “Nothing he does annoys you?”

“What’s Colin doing?” Oliver shuts his laptop.

“Nothing, and that’s not what I was asking.”

Oliver narrows his eyes.

“I was only trying to bond with you and share experiences. Never fucking mind.” I huff.

“We are twins. Do you think we need to bond more?”

“About our husbands!” I throw my hands up.

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