Page 73 of The Reunion

‘Sure you were.’

‘I said I flirted with you at school. I didn’t say I wanted to go out with you now.’

‘You’re the one who brought up romance.’

‘I brought up rain.’

I cut him a look but he just tips his head back and smiles wider, blinking only slightly against the water running down his face, and, just like that, I’m back to wanting to throttle him, sure he’s only digging his heels in for the sole purpose of winding me up.

I cross my arms and hope that it looks half as cocky as his stance, when my boobs are out and my knickers are twisted all out of place, and my hair has half fallen out and is stuck to my face and back, makeup almost definitely smeared all over my face.

It doesn’t escape my notice that there’s a smear of my lipstick across Ryan’s mouth.

Something about that makes my stomach flip, my toes curl.

But I stand my ground, pretend I’m not thinking about that, and say, ‘Were you hoping I’d ask you out after this, Ryan, is that it? That you’d have finally won me round, got me onside, and now I’d be swooning at your feet begging you to take me out on a real date? Grow up.’

‘You grow up,’ he snipes, which only makes me roll my eyes because, wow, what an argument that is. Scowling, Ryan pushes away from the desk to stand upright, his shoulders squared and jaw clenched. ‘I didn’t fuck you to win you round, Ashleigh.’

‘That’s not what—’

‘And what makes you think I’d want to date you, anyway? Just because you were a good shag, or we finally had something that halfway resembled a conversation for once? What, you think we’re friends now? You …’

Ryan draws in a sharp breath and when he takes half a step forward, it’s to level a finger accusingly at me, and the mask drops. There’s no pretence of ‘everybody’s best friend’ now, none of the charisma that got him so far in life. He is seething, but it’s … warped, somehow. Wrong.

He … looks upset.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Ryan upset.

He’s Mr Happy-Go-Lucky. Buoyant, and maybe a bit churlish or brooding when it suited him or he didn’t get his way, but … God, it’s disturbing to see him sad. It cuts sharp and deep right through my gut, realising I’m the one who’s done that.

I’ve always wanted to take Ryan down a peg or two, hated how superior he acts, but I never set out to hurt him.

I’m not even really sure how I have.

He takes an uneven breath between gritted teeth, mouth working furiously as he thinks better of whatever he was about to say, and drops the finger he’s pointing at me. His hand bunches into a fist at his side instead.

‘You still refuse to do anything but think the worst of me. Can’t you, for once in your self-righteous life, realise that maybe, I’m not the bad guy here? That, you know, maybe I’m a person, too? I can understand part of why you had such a low opinion of me at school and, believe me, you’re not exactly absolved either, but – after everything, you can’t just take me at face value? Tell me why you think I would ever want to ask you out when you consistently assume the worst of me, Ash. Tell me.’

I can’t.

For once, I have no comeback to Ryan Lawal.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Ryan

‘Most Likely to Kill Each Other’

She’s driving me fucking crazy – and not in a good way anymore. But she’s still sucking all the air out of the room and I’m still acutely attuned to her every breath and blink, and it’s like I can feel the moment she crushes in on herself, when the truth hits her.

She’s silent, and any other time, it’d be the greatest triumph of my life, to debate against Ashleigh Easton and leave her utterly speechless.

But this whole thing stopped being a game a long while ago and frankly, we’re both too old to keep pulling this same shit ten years on.

I sigh, the fight leaving me when she doesn’t try to argue or tell me I don’t know my own mind, and – maybe I don’t, actually, given that I even considered for a moment that things might have well and truly shifted between us. I really thought …

God, she’s right. I am an idiot.

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