Page 52 of Secrets Within Us

Saint turned to Demon. How did no one know what one pastor did on his frequent trips across the country to volunteer with America’s at-risk youth?

Hadley Shaw. Once a suspect, now a survivor in the case heard around the world.

The headlines were all different, but the story was the same; Hadley was a survivor and a victim, not the suspect anymore. She had her name cleared, but the stares and shock from the small-town Utah residents would take a while to wear off if she went out in public.

I needed to help her through it because she deserved to walk down the street and hold her head high as we lived out our lives in my hometown.

If she asked me to move, however, I would in a second. But I’d be leaving behind every last piece of my family to do so. They buried Molly and my kids in town in the same cemetery where all of my ancestors were buried. The cabin was the place we brought them to on vacation. The locals were the people who remembered them with me.

Only time would tell what she wanted to do, but we’d do it together. Because I was deeply committed to her. I was invested in her.

Chapter 18 - Hadley

Our Time

Isat in the armchair by the fireplace that I had taken as my own, inside of Kip’s home. He was brewing a pot of coffee and walking around in a pair of low-slung sweatpants, and nothing else as he set up our cups perfectly. He was hovering and if he were anyone else, he’d be smothering, but with him it was perfect and I craved his attention for the time being.

As he poured our cups, the rich scent of coffee wafted through the room. He walked over to me, his steps soft on the floor, and leaned down to give me a sweet morning kiss. After handing me my coffee, he joined me on the couch, his presence warm and comforting.

He’d been perfect last night, giving me everything I needed from him as I tried to find a balance sexually between trauma and healing. We’d laid up for hours after our multiple rounds and talked and I told him how I felt shame at finding pleasure in sex with him because of my torture by Peter Daniels.

Saying the words out loud had been so therapeutic as we worked through my feelings on it all until we fell asleep again and slept in until midafternoon. He didn’t go outside to see to chores or responsibilities, and instead pulled on a pair of sweats and slippers and hovered right within reach.

“I love you,” I said, taking another sip of my coffee and smiling behind my cup as the darkness fell from his face and joy took its place.

“I love you too, Had.” He said easily, reaching over and taking my almost healed hand in his and rubbing his fingers over the closed wounds on the back of it. “We have to go into town today to sign your statement.” He said, and I watched the darkness descend back over his features as he fought with that information.

“I know,” I said calmly. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

His eyes snapped up to mine, and his scowl deepened. “I’m going.” He growled. “Knock that off.”

I raised my eyebrows at him but stayed silent, almost smiling at his alpha peeking through. He sighed and set his cup down on the coffee table and then reached over, picking me up and setting me down in his lap and taking a deep breath.

“I just want to do this right, Hadley. I want to protect you and shelter you from the stares and whispers that I know are going to come your way from well-meaning but nosey people in town. And then there’s the fact that this is a national story, so I know there are people who are going to come from far and wide to see everything firsthand, and I hate it. I just want to keep you here, safe and protected from it all.”

“I know, baby,” I said, laying my head on his shoulder and relaxing into his touch. “But if I’m going to live here with you from now on, we need to rip the band-aid off and let them stare so that hopefully they get over it sooner rather than later.”

He looked down at me, “You want to live here, with me?”

I sat up and scowled at him, “Do you not want me to?”

“No!” He said quickly before rolling his eyes, “I mean yes, I want you here, I just didn’t know if you’d want to stay or if you’d want to move somewhere else far away from everything that happened here. Like maybe Florida.”

“I want to be here with you, Kip. I want to spend my days like this with you and Dev and forget the rest of the world exists outside of the trees surrounding us.”

“I am a big fan of that idea.” He said, relaxing on the couch and tightening his arms around my hips. We sat in silence for a while, watching the scenes of nature play out through the giant windows until he finally broke the stretch.

“My son Dalton was six, and my daughter Daisy was almost five.” His deep voice was soft, and I could hear the pain in it as I silently sat in his lap and prayed my heart wouldn’t beat out of my chest as he ripped his open to share his life with me. “I was on my ninth month of a tour in the Middle East when I got an emergency call from Mike.” He took a shuddering breath, and I leaned my head back to look at him. “Two men broke into our home in town, in the middle of the night. When the kids didn’t show up for school the next morning, Molly’s sister went over to check on them.” His entire body trembled with both violence and grief as he stared out the window. “They were all shot in their beds where they lay, asleep. They never had a chance of escaping.”

“I’m so sorry, Kip,” I said, shaking my head as tears stung my eyes. “Did they catch the men that did it?”

He sighed and tightened his arms around my waist and finally looked over at me. “Yeah, one of their girlfriends caught him cheating a few days later and turned him in to the police for revenge.” He scoffed.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, and I’m so sorry for them, too.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just… haven’t dealt with it yet and I struggled with feeling like I was cheating on Molly with you, and in turn, I felt like I was being disloyal to you in the same. It’s hard to wrap my head around it all.”

“We have nothing but time,” I said, running my fingers down through his beard as he took a deep breath and relaxed in my arms. “Nothing else is guaranteed in life, especially for us, but right now, we have nothing but time to figure it all out.”

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