My mind left the present and fell to the past in a similar situation I’d gotten myself into. The Saint’s heinous words flowed over me once again, like he was in the very room.
Worthless little bitch. You think you’re worth a damn thing? You’re insignificant. Literally worth nothing. No one wants you. No one has ever wanted you.
My vision darkened around the edges as the pain overtook my entire body as memories flashed back, blocking out everything that was happening around me. I got sucked back into flashbacks, recalling my tortures.
“You dirty little slut. You should thank me for taking you into my home and sheltering you. Feeding you! Bathing you! You selfish, ungrateful cunt!” The Saint threw me to the floor before winding up and kicking me in the ribs when I landed. I screamed but nothing came out, the pain was so intense my vision darkened, and my hearing dulled until all I could hear was the roaring of his insults and the thuds of his kicks hitting my back and sides. I curled into a ball, trying to protect my head and stomach as he kicked me repeatedly. “You’re going to appreciate me after a night outside in the ground! You’ll be begging me to bring you back inside, you’ll lay on your back and spread your legs for me like the little whore I know you really are!”
I careened back to my present situation but couldn’t differentiate the two. God, no. Please don’t let Kip hit me. I won’t survive it again.
Kip flew up the stairs to the loft, where I heard him slamming open the closet and drawers, getting my clothes, and throwing them into my bag. He came back down the stairs and threw the bag on the floor at my feet where I sat, hugging my knees to my front and sobbing.
“Get up. I’m taking you into town and you can figure out how to get the hell out of here and back to wherever the hell you came from, because I’m done. My past is none of your damn business. You wouldn’t tell me what the fuck happened to you even though you came to me for help, so don’t you dare get all high and mighty and demand that I tell you about me! You’re a damn hypocrite.” He yelled as he threw my coat and shoes at me as he stomped into his own.
“Pl- please Kip.” I pleaded, trying to swallow my sobs. “Please, just talk to me, don’t do this.”
“Talk?” He yelled again. The veins in his face and in his neck were bulging from his anger. “I don’t want to talk to you. You served your purpose while you were here. We had a good thing going, you warming my bed and giving me holes to shove my cock into, then you had to go and get nosey and snoop in shit that is none of your business and now we’re here. This is your fault. You just couldn’t leave well enough alone.”
I didn’t recognize the man in front of me anymore. He was saying such heinous things. “Don’t be cruel, just tell me what’s going on. I just want to know what’s going on, why didn’t you tell me about them?” I kept trying, even though my survival skills were telling me to run far away. He picked me up again by my arm, although he was gentler, he still lifted me off of my feet and caused me to stumble behind him towards the door.
“Put your shit on or I’m dragging you through the snow barefoot.” He snapped as he pulled me to face him. He leaned down and got right into my face, “Unless you’d rather walk to town on your own again. It should be getting dark soon, so you should feel right at home walking all alone out there.” He grabbed my coat from my hands and forced my arms into it roughly. “Right, Hadley? When you ended up on my property, weren’t you just out enjoying the winter wonderland?” His face morphed into a mocking glare. “Oh wait, you don’t want to talk about what happened to you though, right? You haven’t wanted to talk about it once, but you expect me to just let you into all of my personal shit like it doesn’t matter, like it’s not relevant because you had it worse. Like my family is less important than whatever happened to you? Is that what you think?” He sneered at me again as he grabbed my legs and forced my shoes onto my feet haphazardly. “My dead family is less important than you getting roughed up by some boyfriend. Like their murders mean less than your bruised ribs and busted lip!”
Murders? Oh God!
“I didn’t say that!” I pleaded. He ripped the door open and shoved me out of it, I stumbled again and fell on my knees onto the hardwood of the porch. “Kip! Stop, please!” I yelled as more tears fell from the pain in my hand contacting the ground.
“Kip?” I looked up from where I was on my knees in the snow on the porch to see a man standing at the bottom of the stairs looking up at me and then at Kip in pure disbelief. “What’s going on here, boy?”
I looked at the man in horror; at how I knew the scene looked, but he just walked up the steps and stood between me and Kip, who stood in the doorway with as much horror and a lot of guilt on his face.
“Not now, Mike. Now’s not a good time. I’m taking her into town, and I’ll be back later.”
The man, Mike, looked to be in his fifties, with salt and pepper hair and beard, dressed in a red flannel and jeans much like Kip. He said nothing, but leaned down and offered me his hand to help me stand up. I tentatively placed my good hand in his and he gently picked me up.
He was tall and broad like Kip, not as big, but I could tell he was not to be messed with either, and it gave me a bit of relief to know he had stopped Kip’s tirade.
His anger was clearly pain and fear resurfacing now that I knew what had happened to his family, but he still terrified me. I had my own trauma too.
“You okay?” Mike asked me, ignoring what Kip had said.
I nodded my head gently, looking down at the ground as I brushed some of the snow off of me. It was already seeping into my clothes and chilling me.
Memories of how cold I had been when I was forced to sleep in the hole in the ground and the days I spent walking flooded my mind. I trembled in fear, never wanting to experience that level of coldness again.
“Let’s go inside and get you dried off, darling,” Mike said, ignoring Kip’s protests and opening the door to lead me through it. I looked up at Kip in question and the look of disgust that he aimed my way stopped me in my tracks. He didn’t want me in his home anymore.
“No,” I whispered. They both looked down at me as I stepped back and away from them. “I’m not welcome here anymore. I’m fine, but I just want to leave.”
Mike looked from me to Kip and then back before reaching forward once again and gently leading me into the still open front door. “I’ll take you myself in just a minute, but first I need to have a word with Kip. Go on inside and warm yourself by the fire and we’ll be on our way in just a little bit.”
He didn’t give me much choice as he ushered me in and shut the door behind me with gentle authority. Unable to move and unable to process what had happened, I stood on the inside in shock.
Sagging against the kitchen counter, grabbing a stool to fall into as the weight of everything nearly made me collapse. I could hear the guys on the other side of the door, and I quieted my breathing to listen to them.
“What exactly is going on here?” Mike asked angrily.
Kip sighed heavily and I could imagine him running his hand over his beard before rubbing the back of his neck as he usually did in frustration.
“Nothing. She needs a ride to town. Nothing else.”