Page 18 of Secrets Within Us

He stared into my eyes for a moment before shaking his head sadly and sighing as he stood. “That’s not how this works. I’m not the one looking for anything or anyone to hold on to, Hadley.”

And with that, he turned his back and walked down the hallway towards the bathroom. “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight, go on up to bed, you look like crap. Maybe some sleep will help.” He called over his shoulder before shutting the bathroom door.

My chest collapsed as the air left my lungs at his insult.

Of course, he thought I looked like crap.

I just wasn’t pretty enough for him, especially without makeup and products. I knew I looked bad with the bruises and cuts, but hearing him say so just shoved my self-esteem further into the ground.

A little mousey, ugly, self-conscious thing like you. No one will miss someone like you, now will they?

I could hear the saint’s voice like he was in this room with me. Like he was still alive, even. He said such heinous things, hitting them so close to home, like he knew my insecurities without me telling him. I couldn’t shake him and his torment.

The sound of the shower turning on broke the stillness of the room, amplifying the cracks in my heart as I sat there in silence and darkness.

I put myself out there, one time.

Just once. Maybe the most important time of my life, too.

And Kip reminded me why I couldn’t afford to do that ever again. No one could hurt you when you didn’t give them the tools to do so.

I slowly rose to my feet and walked over to his liquor cabinet. Opening it, I grabbed the bottle of top-shelf whiskey I’d noticed earlier and a glass from on top.

I slowly made my way up the stairs, careful not to drop the glass or bottle as each step made the ice in my chest grow thicker and thicker. Endeavor had been sleeping on the couch next to Kip during the movie, but he got up and slowly followed me up the stairs.

I hadn’t seen him go upstairs since I’d been there, and I was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to, but I couldn’t find it in myself to care.

Frankly, the company would be nice.

So I went upstairs with Kip’s large protective dog and his top-shelf whiskey and drank myself into a level of drunkenness that I hadn’t achieved since my high school days.

And I finally saw what he found at the bottom of the bottle.

Peace.

Chapter 6 - Kip

Giving In

When I got out of the shower, she was gone. And so was Dev. I heard him walking around in the loft and nearly went up there to get him back downstairs, but couldn’t bring myself to face her just yet.

“You win this time, buddy,” I muttered quietly as I grabbed a pillow and blanket from the hallway closet.

Kissing her had left me too wound up to just go to sleep. When I’d gotten into the shower, my cock had been rock hard from tasting her and feeling her body under my hands. I’d turned the water to straight cold and hissed out the frustration under the icy stream while I tried to think about anything other than her lips, but my cock still refused to go down at all.

Unable to resist any longer, I turned the faucet and let the warm water wash over me as I retreated into my fantasy, where she played the starring role. Her face had been so small in my hands, but her lips had fit with mine perfectly. When she returned the kiss, her passion and intensity took me by surprise.

My scalp still tingled where she ran her fingernails across the skin, pulling me closer to her.

And as I stood there in the water, my scalp wasn’t the only thing tingling at the memory. My cock was rock hard, and my balls were tight and full, and I needed to let loose. I braced one hand on the stone wall and wrapped the other around myself, stroking it quickly in a firm grip before falling into a familiar, pleasurable pace.

I had thought of how good she felt with her ass pressed against my cock last night when I laid behind her. How soft and silky her skin was where my hand lay all night.

I pumped my cock harder and faster as my arousal spiked. She looked so fucking sexy all day yesterday with only my shirt on; it was like having my own pin-up-era porn star walking around my house, teasing me. Her tits were large and perky, leaving nothing to the imagination, they swayed heavily with each of her movements and they all but begged me to hold them in my hands for her.

I still had the images of them burned into my memory from when I had changed her, and my mouth watered as I thought about how perfect her hard nipples were. I could feel my teeth ache, longing to feel the flesh between them.

So I’d stood there in my shower and stroked my cock until I exploded with one of the most powerful orgasms I’d ever had as she laid upstairs, willing and wanting.

---