Page 62 of I Met Him At The Library

“Yeah, so ever since then she tries to keep her life private from the town. Unfortunately, it’s a harder task than people would think it would be. George was the next guy she dated. It was a mutual break up, and he moved away. Nick was basically a fuck buddy, but they were spotted together a lot and when he left town, too, some pretty nasty comments and rumors flew. Basically, there are people who believe she can’t make a guy stay, most of the time bringing up the lies from high school as the reason. In reality, she didn’t want them.”

It suddenly made a lot more sense to me, “So, with my job in danger and the possibility of my leaving hanging over us, she didn’t want to go public. Emily didn’t want to deal with the possible fallout of yet another boyfriend taking off.”

“Yep,” Meghan said, popping the P.

“Should I still give her more time?” I asked.

“Yes, you should. She is trying to heal the sting of the past still haunting her. I wouldn’t give up on her. She’ll come around.” Meghan smiled like she held a secret, but then she stood and said, “Alright, I’m going to get going. Focus on something else for the next couple of weeks. Catch up on work. Put books away. Help Betsy with the dusting. She looks like she might fall over every time she picks up one of those big books.”

Meghan breezed out of my office leaving me feeling awful about what I did with Emily and forcing her to acknowledge our relationship, but also feeling hopeful. I would stick around for Emily, even if it meant working in a job I wasn’t good at or trained in. I only hoped we could figure it all out. For now, I needed to push all the bad from my mind and focus on other things.

I’d apply for work from home jobs because, honestly, I didn’t think we’d be able to keep the library doors open, and I needed to get started on my job search. If push came to shove I could continue applying while I helped out Trey with a few jobs. For now, my focus needed to be on proving to Emily I wasn’t going anywhere - at least not without her at my side.

Chapter 36

Emily

It had been three days since I last talked to Ryan, and if I had a dollar for every time I picked up my phone to call him or message him, I’d be a rich woman. I missed him something fierce and wanted desperately to tell him how sorry I was. But I was still incredibly nervous about going public. I didn’t want to hear the same rumors and lies again and again.

I’d done a large amount of internet searches trying to figure out how someone gets to a point where they don’t care about what other people think. Most of the results were something along the lines of “fake it till you make it.” That didn’t quite work for me, I’d been faking not caring for so long, but internally, I still cared, and it was torture.

Meghan had taken over all of the planning for the festival. Evidently, Ryan was getting far too depressed by the numbers which made all of this worse. I wanted to be there for him, but I was afraid I’d make the entire situation more stressful than it needed to be.

In my sorrows, I hadn’t written or brainstormed anything for my next series. Instead, I sat here drinking coffee or tea and binged an unnecessary amount of sci-fi shows. Obviously, I was seeking comfort, but there was only one place that actually made me feel at peace anymore, and that was with Ryan.

I didn’t want my comfort to be wrapped up in anyone but myself, but damn if he didn’t worm his way in. It made me wonder if I did the same for him, which then had me worried I wasn’t his peace, and instead the thing causing him stress. Some of it would be my own fault with the secret career and the secret relationship. Other parts were the past clinging to me, the majority of it untrue, but believed by so many.

A knock on my door pulled me from my cozy nook of blankets and pillows on my couch. As I went to open the door, I hoped it would be Ryan here to stake his claim or whatever and demand I get over my shit and be with him. I would. But my daydream burst when his sister stood in front of my open door.

“Hi Lacey,” I said as I stepped back and invited her in.

“Well, you look like shit,” she stated, and I huffed a laugh.

I walked back to my sofa and she followed me, dropping down into a chair and giving me a look that said I needed to get over this.

“What’s up?”

“Are you going to break up with my brother?” She asked, and I sighed.

“More like he’s going to break up with me because I have no backbone.”

“Nah, and maybe I’m being a little forward since we haven’t really talked but I’m a girl's girl and well, I have your back here. What did he do to piss you off?”

“That’s just it, I was pissed for the wrong reasons and now I’m trying to get my head wrapped around things before I try to go work things out with him.” Sighing, I looked at her and the next words came flying out of my mouth. “Years ago there were people in this town, who still live here, that spread some nasty lies about me. The fallout from that messed with me and now I’m afraid those same lies and even some new ones are going to pop up and ruin everything. So, I’m self sabotaging my own happiness because I’m afraid of people spreading rumors about me. Which just makes me feel like I’m even more of a mess and causing Ryan stress he doesn’t need right now.”

“Not being with him is causing him stress.”

Looking at her, she gave me a sad smile before continuing, “You know the old guy who sleeps on every bench in town?”

“Neil?”

“Yeah. Do you think he gives a damn about what people think about him? He doesn’t. They call him homeless or a nuisance because he’s old and sleeping out in public. But in all actuality he’s an old man who listens to his body. He gets tired after walking around town, and he takes a nap wherever he can. The people who know Neil know this. At a certain point, we all have to look at what other people think of us and decide it’s a them problem because we are simply out here living our lives how we want to and those closest to us know the truth.”

“Okay?”

“Are you going to let this town drive you into hiding because people spread nasty rumors about you? Are you going to let them ruin what you have with Ryan? I’ve never seen him so relaxed and happy in my life.”

“How do you know about the rumors?” I asked.

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