There were several times in our lives he would contact my mom, sober, and she would always agree to let him come over to see us. He would do good for months, and then he’d stop showing up again. When my sister was thirteen it happened for the last time. She never forgave him and refused to speak to him even now thirteen years later.

“I’m sorry you went through all of that,” Emily said.

I shrugged, “What are you going to do? He has a disease he tries to fight and fails more times than not. I don’t hold it against him, but I won’t give him free rein into my life either.”

“You do what’s right and good for you, just like your sister. His disease does not make it so that you have to deal with him. No one is under obligation to risk their mental health and well being because of someone else. It sucks on both sides, but if you and your sister feel you’re better being no-contact, that is all that matters.”

“It doesn’t stop the guilt that maybe I could do more to help,” I said quietly.

“But it’s not your responsibility, it’s on him to prove he wants to help himself and stay sober. He needs to earn that with you.” She reached over and touched my hand. Electricity zapped through my arm and I gazed at her with a soft smile.

She had such compassion but was understanding at the same time. There was no judgment from her for my father’s struggles or for the way my sister and I cut him out of our lives. She simply understood.

Most people only considered the feelings of the parents when their adult children cut them out of their lives. They didn’t stop to think about what the parents did to make their children go to such drastic measures. Most of the time, the parents soaked up the apologies and attention they got by telling people their children didn’t talk to them anymore. In our case, we tried to be understanding and supportive, but we couldn’t turn our lives upside down every single time he fucked up. It was toxic to our own mental health.

I grieved what could have been a relationship with him. My sister did too. Maybe one day we could trust he’d do what was right for himself and for us, but as far as I could tell it was a long way off. We needed a good year of him being sober before we’d even pick up the call. Thankfully he respected our wishes.

“Well, switching to a lighter subject. You look stunning tonight,” I grinned.

Emily barked out a laugh and my smile grew as I sipped my wine and stared at her over our glasses. She made life lighter and happier, simply with her presence. I’d happily soak in her comfort for as long as she’d let me.

The more we talked, the more I became sure Emily was it for me. She was who I wanted. We shared a lot in common, but had enough differences that our conversations remained interesting. Every minute we spent together, I fell for her a little bit more.

Chapter 24

Emily

It had been a week since our first official date and what a date it was. Using the car my parents left here for me, I drove over to his place almost every single night for a delicious meal and conversation. Then we would make out like high schoolers, watch a movie, or did both at the same time. I enjoyed spending time with him, during the day at the library as we continued planning Maple Creek Book Festival, and then again at night, getting to know each other.

We hadn’t had sex, yet, but fucking hell, the tension was there. Last night I damn near jumped him on the sofa. Even now, I wanted to take him over to the reference section for privacy, since no one entered that area, and have him fuck me against those damn shelves.

That was the vision running through my head as Ryan waved his hand in my face.

“Huh?” I questioned, snapping out of my horny daydreams.

“I was asking if you were able to secure enough tables?” Ryan said with a mischievous grin.

My cheeks heated, but I turned back to the spreadsheet containing all of the information for the event.

“Yep. Tables and chairs have been secured. I even got a few extra chairs for the lawn, reserved for the elderly and disabled people who may need them.”

“Fantastic,” he said, side-eyeing me like he knew exactly what I was daydreaming about. “So, you’ve been to my place every night this week, how about I pick up food from the diner and come over to yours tonight. Give you a break from the travel while making sure neither of us have to cook.”

I tried to keep my face neutral. He probably didn’t realize how freaking thin my walls actually were. But looking at him, he appeared so hopeful. Either I was going to have to tell him the truth, or talk to his sister. Talking to his sister seemed like a much easier conversation. No brother would want to hear this type of information about their sister.

“That sounds great.”

“I can walk home with you now, I’ll make up the time later.”

“No!” He startled at my shout. I cleared my throat, and made up an excuse, “My place is a mess, I could use an hour or so to get it ready.”

He gave me a bemused expression, before nodding in agreement. Quickly, I packed up everything and snuck in a kiss when I was sure no one would see before I hustled back toward my apartment.

I dropped my bag and purse off inside before I forced myself upstairs to Lacey’s apartment. We haven’t talked more than the one time on the stairs, and this was bound to be a bit embarrassing, but I didn’t want him accidentally hearing anything damning coming from upstairs.

With my own secret smutty occupation, I could only imagine how she’d want her night job kept a secret too. Especially from her older brother, who was coming to my apartment, in a little over an hour.

I knocked on Lacey’s door before I lost my nerve, and after a few seconds there was shuffling noise before she opened the door wide.