Page 112 of Devil May Lie

“It turns out,” he drawled, glancing over at Flix and Baikal, “omitting a few details isn’t always the correct move.”

If he’d confessed from the start, however, there was no way Madden would have pursued him. That made things tricky. On the one hand, he felt bad that he’d hurt the Mad King. On the other, Berga couldn’t bring himself to wholly regret keeping the secret. He glanced down at the blood covering his arms again.

“I’ve never even hoped for something like this,” he whispered. “Progress this substantial. I just wanted to be comfortable around bodies again, without the intense anxiety that came with the thought of getting dirty.”

“You aren’t dirty,” Bay reassured.

“A psychotic mad scientist, maybe,” Flix said, winking when Berga narrowed his eyes at him. “Come on. You are insane. But that’s what we love about you.”

“Love?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“You mean a lot to us, Berga.” Bay squeezed his knee once more and then stood.

“We’ve literally seen you peel the skin off of a live person before,” Baikal added. “Do you really think a little blood on your body is going to revolt us?”

Berga considered. “I suppose experimenting on people is the more revolting of the two.”

“It’s your job.”

“I enjoy it,” he reminded. “That is not normal.” He’d always known there was something off about himself. Had accepted it because it made him perfect for the role of Butcher. It meant he’d secure a place for himself in this world, and that had always been his main goal. The most important thing to him had been finding somewhere to belong.

No. That wasn’t right.

Not somewhere.

Someone.

He stared at Madden. For a brief blip of time, Berga had been successful. He’d belonged to someone.

And he’d ruined it.

Just like everything else he came into contact with.

The chuckle that slipped past his lips was bitter. “I’m a monster. Monsters don’t get the guy at the end of the story. Monsters either end up slain or banished.” He tipped his head. “Do you think he’ll kill me when he wakes up?”

“If he tries—”

Berga grabbed onto Flix’s sleeve, stopping him before he could finish his sentence. “If he tries, let him.”

“Berga.” Baikal clearly didn’t agree, but he wasn’t backing down.

“It’d be better,” he said. “Better than being banished. I’d rather he take his revenge that way than by abandoning me.” At least dead, he wouldn’t have to deal with his torture. He pressed against the center of his chest. “It hurts here. Isn’t it funny? I’ve always liked pain before. But right now, it’s like I can’t breathe.”

“Should I call the doctor?” Flix stepped toward the door, only for Bay to give him a pointed look.

“It’s not that kind of pain, you dummy,” Baikal stated, then to Berga he asked, “Are you sorry?”

“I’m sorry that I upset him,” Berga said.

“Was finally finding out what his hair feels like worth it?”

“Yes.” He should say no. A good person would say they regretted it all. Would feel bad that they’d hurt the one person they cared the most about. But Berga didn’t say any of that, because it would just be another lie. Another twisting of the full truth.

If he could go back in time and change things, he wouldn’t. Because all of those choices had led him to Madden.

“Even if he kills me,” Berga told them, “it’d have been worth it.”

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