Page 78 of Devil May Lie

“You could say that.” Though, he wasn’t so sure he should be.

“I was also conducting an experiment,” Berga said. “How did yours go?”

“Well, you ended up having an episode so…”

“Inconclusive then?”

“Not necessarily. Not if you tell me you were jealous of those fans.”

Berga clicked his tongue and sighed. “It made me slip into psychosis, what do you think?”

Madden stiffened. “It what?”

“Don’t look so put off. I don’t blame you or anything. Neither of us knew that was a possibility. But apparently, I must subconsciously like you a lot more than I realized. Seeing you give in to all those people's advances had me…” He seemed to struggle with the right word for a moment and said, “Unsettled.”

“Why?” Madden recalled Bay’s final diagnosis. If the root of Berga’s issue was really the fear of abandonment… “Did you think I didn’t want you anymore?” he dared ask. “That I’d abandon you?”

“Tossing me to the side isn’t that farfetched of an idea,” Berga stated. “Even my parents were capable. Why wouldn’t you, a man I’d only fucked a couple of times, be less capable of it than them?”

“If you thought that might happen,” he motioned to the toy, “why buy that?”

“Optimism?”

Madden laughed before he could help it. “I didn’t think you had that in you.”

“I don’t.”

“Then—”

“Should we use it now?” Berga held the plug up.

The doctor said there was nothing inherently wrong with him, that his body had merely reached its limits and he needed rest to recover. Looking at him now, it was clear Berga’s coloring was already returning to normal, and his movements weren’t stilted or lagging. He seemed fine.

Still…

“All right.” Madden took the plug and stood, quickly undoing the snap of his pants. He kicked out of them and then reached back into the box when he saw there was also a tube of lube in there. “But if you don’t feel good at any point, you tell me and we stop.”

Berga nodded but frowned as he popped the top and slathered a healthy dollop of lube on the toy. When Madden crawled onto the bed and spread his legs, he asked, “What are you doing?”

Madden paused with one finger pressed to his entrance and then glanced over his shoulder at the Butcher, who was eyeing him with a wealth of confusion. “Prepping. Isn’t that what you bought this thing for?”

“Prepping,” Berga pointed at his ass, “yourself?”

“Why?” He straightened so he was kneeling. “Did you want to do it for me?”

“No,” Berga shook his head, “I want you to do it to me.”

“What?” He must have misheard him. There was no way… “But you’re a top.”

“Aren’t you?”

“It wasn’t awful when you stuck it to me that night at the Docks.”

“I agree,” Berga concurred, “but it also wasn’t nearly as good as when you gave it to me.”

“You’re serious?” The Butcher was actually telling him to fuck him? “You’re going to bottom for me?”

“You said it yourself. I need you now. At least until I can completely conclude that you’re the reason why I can break out of the delusions.”

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