For some reason, I don't seem to be capable of opening up to anyone.
The thing is, I know I can. I do it around Evie without even thinking about it. After spending even a few seconds in her presence, I'm all aboard the Evie Banter Bandwagon.
It's easy.
It's fun.
It's natural.
So why can't I find whatever that is and apply it when I'm with someone else?
Because I'm damaged, that's why, and I don't deserve to be with someone as great and special and funny and smart and beautiful and hockey-obsessed as Evie.
I just don't.
So yeah, one day. That's all I get with Evie. That's all I can allow myself to have.
Which is why I need to salvage what's left of it and make good on my promise.
I look toward the entry. Still no sign of her.
Okay, resume mental dissection.
Let's move on to the cons about today:
One.
Seeing her miserable.
That alone instantly wipes out the pros.
Despite putting on a brave face, Evie hasn't been herself all day, and I hate that I haven't been able to make her feel better. That was my job after all, wasn't it? And I've failed.
I may not know her reasons for coming here, but it obviously means something to her. Maybe closure? Maybe revenge? Maybe to prove something?
Whatever it is, she clearly didn't get what she needed to get out of it.
And I clearly didn't step up and fulfill the obligation I made. I told her I'd be the best date she's ever had. I've done a pretty lousy job of it so far.
Two.
Watching that smarmy jerkface getting his girl while hurting my gir—er, Evie. While hurting Evie.
Three. The way too long ceremony.
Four. The crappy food.
Five. The crappier band.
Six. The inane small talk. I really could have done without hearing all about Corny, Kernel, and Pop, aka Mr Mariano's corns which, for some unknown reason, he actually names. I've heard of people naming inanimate objects, but that's taking it a step too far.
I could go on listing negatives because, believe me, there are plenty more sucky things about today.
But none of those things are as bad as seeing Evie upset.
I don't want her memories of this day to only be bad ones, which is why as soon as she comes outside, Operation Un-Badify Today begins.
I turn back to the entry, and my eyes land on the vision in lavender standing there. Evie looks around. Once she spots me, she smiles, gives a wave, and hikes up her dress to make it easier to walk over my way.