It’s the perfect camgirl scenario—I get to show off and have zero fear of connection. I know it’s not real. The guys just want to watch me play with myself and get off, lick cherry syrup off my fingers, caress my entire body, do a striptease, and of course, some things I turn down, but their desire for me is as fleeting as their dollars.
But being his little girl? That’s about being seen and connection.
The whole package… Gabriel’s arm wrapped around my shoulders, the way he’s tugging me into his body, and his question fill me with so much energy, I’m about to vibrate into pieces. Then I realize the epicenter of the vibration is my pocket where my phone is. I check the text message.
Avery: Car won’t start. Still at home
Reality smacks me upside the head. I hold the phone up for Gabriel, extremely conscious of his arm still wrapped around me. If he was my boyfriend, I would put my hand on his, lace our fingers together, and ensure that he couldn’t let go of me because I’ve never felt like I belonged somewhere more than right now.
I don’t have to be the strong one. I don’t have to battle the demons of my past. I can trust him to be there for me. I give myself a mental shake… Just like I can trust Avery, his sister, my best friend.
I type a quick troubleshooting message that she’s probably already handled.
Me: Maybe Mila could pick you up, give you a comfy place to stay until we get back to town.
A tinge of shame washes through me that I’m safe in her brother’s embrace. “I’m sort of relieved that she’s safe at home, not driving up this dirt road.”
His voice stays low and seductive. “Me too, and that you’re safe here.”
Harnessing my love for my BFF, I study the fallen tree and the increasing depth of water that has drowned the entire bridge. “I don’t want to be a burden.”
“You’ll never be a burden, Beatrix. Spend the night.”
The fantasies are not limited to Gabriel. If there’s a special circle of hell for betraying best friends, I’ll be sent to it.
Maybe I qualify for a weekend pass since I helped Lexi hook up with her bosses. Surely I get credit for that.
If I insisted, I bet Avery’s lumberjack brothers could get their chainsaws out and cut up the log blocking my path.
Wyatt’s voice startles me. “You going to stare at a rainy day or get busy helping, Gabriel?”
I slink away from Gabriel, embarrassed that the other brothers have already put the boxes in Avery’s room and returned. That’s a long time to stay pressed against his hard body, and yet not long enough.
It’s also wrong.
With Wyatt and Mammoth and the nursery, I remember our common bond… Avery.
I also remember my money call tonight. Not my classiest client, but he parts with his money easily. I don’t want to cancel, but unless I convince the guys to go out in the raging storm and move a log that’s as thick as one of their torsos, I’m stuck.
Telling Avery’s brothers that I’m not hungry yet, I sequester myself in Avery’s room and unpack a few boxes in the nursery. It doubles as Avery’s bedroom until hers is finished. The baby items are already in place since they were purchased new, which allows me to focus on her side of the room.
Even though she can’t participate in roller derby right now, her heart is still in it and she helps at the swag table and wherever we need an extra hand, along with Angel, Lexi, Cheri, and a seemingly growing list of teammates who are out with the Nine Month Injury.
I position Avery’s skates on a shelf, placing an MVP trophy carefully so they can’t roll.
I’ve successfully hidden from her brothers long enough that my stomach is growling. After confirming that my caller hasn’t canceled, I venture to the kitchen and while I’m there I ask the brothers, “When do you think you’ll be able to clear the road?”
Gabriel steps to look out the window, and answers quickly. “With the wind whipping around like that, more limbs could come down. It wouldn’t be safe to go out. Plus, the water’s come up even more.”
Mammoth adds, “It’s safer if you stay put. We’ll clear it when the storm passes. Plus, if you can leave, Avery might try to come up. She’s better off staying with her friend.”
They’re aware that the thing with Mila worked out, and that Mila’s in nursing school and wants to work in the maternity ward so she’s the best possible friend for Avery to be with right now. I’m wondering if that’s a blessing or curse.
I take a bowl of macaroni back to Avery’s room and text her.
Me: Best mac and cheese ever
Avery: Thanks. Sorry you got stuck up there. Make yourself at home.