Page 14 of Rolling with my Best Friend's Brothers

He slugs the last of his milk and grabs the gallon from the fridge to refill his glass. “Dare… challenge… give permission… call it what you want. I think you’re afraid to have sex.”

“I’m not afraid.” Am I? God. Fuck. He’s in my head. Has living in my older brothers’ shadows impacted me that deeply?

He steps closer. “It’s simple math. You like her. She likes you. What’s a little penetration between friends? We’ve already sworn to keep what happened a secret.”

“That’s not math,” I grumble, avoiding his ridiculous, yet incredibly tempting, argument.

He points at me. “That’s avoidance.”

He’s right on that one. I’m avoiding the flare-up of pain in my chest. I’m avoiding the ache in my balls to get Beatrix pregnant and watch her belly swell over the next nine months. I’m avoiding the possibility that she’s stronger than me and will be able to walk away.

Ten

Beatrix

My eyes slowly open and it takes me a minute to remember where I am and that the unbelievable dream I had about Gabriel, Mammoth, and Wyatt wasn’t just a dream.

The scent of baby oil and other muskiness lingers in the room and on my skin as I stretch my arms overhead. I run through the shower, put on one of Avery’s long sleepshirts, then search for the guys. No panties since Gabriel stole them. Does he appreciate that I like the breathability of cotton?

The rain has let up but I’m not ready to leave this bubble we’re in—a safe space for us to explore and learn without commitment.

With a rested mind, I’m less freaked out about feelings than before my nap. I can do this. More specifically, I want to do this. In my mind, they’re safe. This situation is safe. I want to have sex—for research purposes, and because I’m dying to know if they can make me feel as good as they each did, can it be even better?

Mammoth, Wyatt, and Gabriel fall instantly silent when I enter the kitchen. I’ve interrupted their discussion. Was it about me? And what’s up with the donuts? Did I sleep longer than I thought?

All eyes are on me as I help myself to a sugary pastry.

“There’s my sleepy little girl,” Gabriel says. He and Wyatt are wearing sweats and no shirts. Excellent choices. Mammoth is in jeans and a flannel shirt. Mammoth… no… Mason. I decide against using the name even though it tickles my tongue. His arms are crossed and his brow furrowed; does he regret what we did?

I opt to stand next to Wyatt, the length of our bodies touching. The contact reignites the passion, the longing, the tension he sparked in my earlier. I want to make sure I’m reading the room right so I hold up the donut. “Someone’s been to Sugar D’s. Did you get the road cleared?”

“No, met the delivery guy at the tree.”

According to the microwave, I was only out for a couple of hours. “So, if the road’s not clear and I have to stay here all night…”

Wyatt coughs.

“Do it.” Gabriel blows off the tense expression Wyatt shoots at him.

“Gabriel.” Mammoth’s tone matches Wyatt’s seriousness. It also matches my thought that Mammoth’s rethinking what we did. You can’t live life that way.

Gabriel raises his hands in front of his chest. “Fine. I’ll back off. It’s up to you, Wyatt, the virgin.”

Wyatt leans his head down and quietly says, “Absolutely no pressure. We don’t have to have sex.”

I clearly missed something, but it doesn’t matter. “I’m aware of that. I don’t have to have sex. I want to have sex.”

“I don’t have any condoms. I’d have to ride you bare.”

I study his expression. He’s not asking if I have protection. He’s making a statement—one that I like. One that is expressly contrary to my assessment that this is a safe situation. The selfish thought that if I got pregnant, I’d be part of their family forever fills me with warm fuzzy feelings. I rationalize that with time, Avery would forgive us, and we’d be able to raise our kids together. This is so wrong. But what I feel with the three of them, I’ve never experienced with anyone else.

“You could pull out,” I offer, surprised by how meek my voice is.

Gabriel laughs and almost spits the milk he just took a sip of. “That’s going to be tough on a first time.”

“Knock it off.” Mammoth has never been this grumpy before.

Gabriel ignores him, grabs a barstool, turns it around, and pats the seat. “Don’t overthink the math, Wyatt.”

---