Page 33 of Hailey Goes to College

He nods eagerly. “Okay, yeah. I get that. I’ll wait for you, Hailey. As long as it takes.”

And he does. He leans back in his chair and sits quietly, waiting for me to finish. When I can’t take it anymore, I stand up and he follows, his chair screeching across the floor in his haste. He reaches out to take my bag but I shake my head. “I got it.”

He holds the door open for me, and as we leave, the tightness in my chest disappears for the first time since I woke up in his bedroom. If he’s willing to wait, then I’m willing to forgive him, to work on trusting him again. I want to believe him—and maybe Kelsey was right, maybe I’ve blown this whole thing out of proportion. It was a little dramatic to walk to a bus station at dawn in a town I’d never been to. Though if I had wanted to be really dramatic I would have stolen a horse. What a scene that would have made.

We make our way slowly back to the dorm, lingering outside. I don’t know what to say, but I don’t want to leave. He must feel the same way too, because he’s standing patiently, waiting just like he said he would.

“Thanks for talking to me,” he says. “I’ve missed you.”

My heart flutters in my chest but I school my features into neutrality. “Thanks for being honest with me.”

He leans in, enveloping me in a hug, and gives me a soft kiss on my lips. He pulls away, smiling at me as he turns to go, and I watch him walk out of sight. There’s still a long road ahead, but for now, I’m grateful for the chance to start rebuilding what I felt was broken.

Inside the dorm, I find Kelsey waiting for me, her eyes filled with curiosity. “I started to go downstairs, got off the elevator, saw you two, and turned right around to come back up and wait to hear about it.”

I give her a small smile. “Better than I feared. We’re going to try to work things out.”

She hugs me tightly. “Oh, Hailey! I’m so happy to hear that. Ryan has always seemed to me like a great guy. I couldn’t believe he would be doing something illegal like that and then lying to you about it.”

“We talked it over and he explained the text. He swore to me that he’s not doing anything illegal and I believe him.”

She hugs me again, her hair tickling my face. I can smell her strawberry shampoo, and I’m comforted by the notion that while my life isn’t perfect, for the first time since I left Ryan’s, I feel like things might work out.

Over the next few days, Kelsey and I settle back into our routine, and it’s comforting to have her right by my side, whether I’m complaining about my classes or telling her about the latest update with Ryan. Her presence is a steady anchor in the shifting tides of my emotions. In return, I’m her sounding board for money-making ideas so she can continue pursuing her passion and not have to worry if her parents make good on the threat they gave of pulling her tuition. We haven’t had a solid idea yet, but it’s just a matter of time before we figure everything out.

It’s crunch time for my classes. That weird time between Thanksgiving break leading up to finals. On a freezing afternoon between classes, I decide to take a walk around campus to clear my head. I’ve got a few more classes before break will officially start and the thought of going home and seeing my parents fills me with a sense of dread. I’m sure my mother will be waiting with open arms all to chastise me for days about not coming home for Thanksgiving.

Getting outside helps with my anxiety, the sky is a cool blue, and the biting air gives me focus. As I stroll through the courtyard, lost in thought, I almost don’t notice Ryan approaching. When I see him, a warmth spreads through me, dispelling the cold.

“Hey,” he says, his breath visible in the frosty air. “I was hoping I’d run into you.”

“Hey,” I reply, a smile tugging at my lips. “It’s only been about…” I feign looking at a watch even though I’m not wearing one. “Ten hours since you saw me last.”

“Ha ha,” he says, his eyes lighting up with mischief. “I wanted to see you before we both got busy for the day.”

We fall into step together and it feels natural when he reaches and puts my hand in his. We walk for a few minutes across the campus in comfortable silence. Ryan clears his throat. “So I wanted to ask you something,” he hedges. I give him a reassuring smile and squeeze his hand to continue. “I wanted to know if you’d like to come with me to my parents this weekend.” I inhale but he cuts me off before I can even start. “I know what you’re thinking. That the last time went to shit and there’s no way you’d want to go back. But I’d like a do-over.”

I must not look too enthusiastic because he’s still in sell mode. All I can think about is slinking out like a thief in the night. How embarrassing. I hadn’t even thought about what would happen if I had to see his parents again.

“And before you even say it, I already told them what happened. They…sort of understand why you left.” I stop walking. I mean they know why you left—they just would have liked to have driven you. Or something. Done things differently. They aren’t mad. You aren’t their kid so I don’t know why I said that. They were mad at me.” He is rambling, and despite the cold, I think he’s sweating.

“Okay,” I say, putting him out of his misery. “Yeah.”

“Yeah?” He smiles, letting out a relieved breath. “Great! It’ll be great. Alone time before the semester ends.”

“Alone with your parents,” I remind him.

“We made it work last time,” he reminds me with a smirk.

I don’t respond. Instead, I tug on his hand, and we start walking again.

We continue walking, talking about our classes and plans for the holidays. It’s a relief to have a normal conversation and have that warm, fuzzy feeling back when I’m with him. And he’s right, this weekend will be one of the last before we spend a month apart. I’ll be heading back to Arizona with Kelsey and Ryan will spend it at his family farm. We’ll be apart for Christmas and New Years and I won’t see him till we come back to school in January.

That thought makes my heart pang with hurt just a little bit. I remind myself it’s good to have a break from your partner in a relationship, healthy even. Plus there’s video chats and of course we’ll text. Plus we won’t have the added pressure of gift giving and deciding whose family to spend the holidays with. I have to remind myself that I’m eighteen, Ryan is only twenty. We aren’t married or even engaged, we’ve just been dating for a short time. These are my young and carefree days and I need more laughing than sadness. Yeah, the break will do our relationship good. We’ll come back and be happier to be back in each other’s company. I can see it now.

The week flies by, and before I know it, the weekend has arrived. Ryan picks me up from the dorm, and we drive out of the city toward his parents’ farm. This time I know what to expect so my nerves are less on edge. The familiar landscape comes into view, and I feel a mixture of nervousness and anticipation—but in a good way. I’m happy that I get a chance to see his parents again and apologize for the way I left. His parents are too sweet to make them think that they did anything wrong.

When we arrive, Ryan’s parents are already out on the front porch to greet us. His mom pulls me into a hug. “It’s so good to see you again, Hailey. I’m so happy to have you back.”

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