Page 18 of Hailey Goes to College

It’s Ryan’s number.

Hey Hailey. Can we talk?

My heart leaps into my throat, and I stare at the screen in disbelief. Kelsey notices my reaction and leans over to peek at my phone.

“Is that… Ryan?” she asks, her eyes wide with surprise.

I nod, feeling a mix of hope and anxiety. “Yeah, he wants to talk.”

“Wow,” Kelsey says, a slow smile spreading across her face. “This could be a good thing, right?”

“I don’t know,” I reply, my voice shaky. “But I want to find out.”

I quickly type a response:

Sure, when?

A few moments later, my phone buzzes again:

Campus park at 3?

I glance at the clock. It’s already two-thirty. “He wants to meet at the park at three. I should ask for later, right? Not just jump up when he asks?”

“I don’t know,” she says slowly. “I mean do you really want to risk it? You haven’t spoken in weeks.”

She’s right, and I’m not really one to play games, despite him accusing me of being dramatic. “Okay, I’m going to go. Are you okay with getting back alone?”

“Yes, Mom, I think I can manage.” She snags the chips off my plate. “Now go!”

I grab my bag and stand up, clutching my phone with a smile. “Okay. I’ll text.”

“Good luck!” she calls. “Don’t come home until you’ve kissed him or punched him!”

I rush back to campus, my mind racing with possibilities. What does Ryan want to say? Is he angry? Has he forgiven me? The uncertainty is overwhelming, but I know I want to hear whatever it is he has to say.

When I arrive at the park, I see Ryan sitting on a bench, staring at the ground. He looks up as I approach, and his expression is unreadable. I take a deep breath and give him a tentative smile as I walk over to him, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Hey,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady and light.

“Hey,” he repeats, standing up.

I suddenly don’t know what to do with my hands so I link my fingers together in front of me. “What’s going on?”

He moves toward me as if he’s going to touch me, but thinks better of it and gestures for me to sit on the bench next to him. I give a tight smile before sitting down, surreptitiously running my hands over my legs to get the sweat off. We sit in silence for a moment and I worry he’s called me here to get me to apologize to him, which is a ridiculous thought to have. Who would call someone to meet and then expect an apology after a month of no contact?

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” Ryan begins, his voice measured. “About everything that happened between us.”

I nod, waiting for him to continue.

“I was annoyed,” he confesses, and I can tell he’s choosing his words. “I didn’t understand why you would care so much about something so mundane. Then it seemed like you were accusing me of something simply for having a hobby you didn’t know about, all to write a story for a stupid school newspaper.”

“I don’t think it’s stupid,” I retort. “University newspapers print some really good stuff. They win awards. It’s not stupid. And people really liked that story.”

“I know! Sorry—I shouldn’t have said stupid. You’re right. It is important, and you wrote a good story. I mean…I don’t think there’s anything interesting about us but I’m happy someone does.”

I lean back and cross my arms over my chest. “What did you want, Ryan?”

“To apologize. Which I’m doing a shit job of. I said a lot of stuff I shouldn’t have and didn’t mean.”

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