Page 17 of Hailey Goes to College

“Can’t wait to read your hard-hitting journalism about the finance students who…participate in the stock market. Groundbreaking.”

“I don’t want it to end like this,” I whisper, all of the bravado I brought to this conversation crumbling into dust.

He scoffs. “Bye, Nancy Drew.”

As I watch him disappear into the crowd, I realize the cost of my ambition. I wanted to be a good journalist, to uncover the truth, but in doing so, I’ve hurt someone I cared about. I don’t know if Ryan is telling the whole truth, but I know that I’ve lost his trust, and maybe even a chance at something more. Feeling the weight of my choices, I head back to my dorm, my heart heavy with the consequences of my actions. I have the information I need for my article, but I’ve lost something much more valuable in the process. As I sit down to write, I can’t help but wonder if it was all worth it.

My fingers cramp and my neck hurts from the way I’ve been holding my shoulders. When I look over at the clock, I realize I’ve spent the last two hours writing my article. I read over what I’ve written, and realize I’ve lost Ryan and an investigative piece all in the same afternoon. What I’ve produced is a fluff piece about unnamed students having the wherewithal to buy stock when they’re young. I gloss over the fact that they’re inexplicably good at something they’re virtually inexperienced at and allow the reader to draw their own conclusions. I start to wonder if it’ll even be published.

I’m still sitting at my computer when Kelsey walks in. She looks at me and immediately notices the distress on my face.

“Hailey? What happened?” she asks, pulling off her headphones and rushing over to me.

I get up from my desk and collapse onto my bed, the weight of today’s events crashing down on me. “I confronted Ryan again. It didn’t go well.”

Kelsey sits beside me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. “Oh no. Tell me everything.”

I recount the conversation with Ryan, my voice trembling with emotion. As I speak, Kelsey listens intently, her expression sympathetic. “I wish I had dropped this whole thing after I talked to Matt and Josh. I wish I’d just talked to Ryan first and let him tell me nothing was worth looking into. Now he’ll never speak to me again.”

Kelsey pulls me into a comforting hug. “You were just trying to do your job, Hailey. It’s not your fault. If Ryan can’t understand that, then maybe he wasn’t the right guy for you anyway.”

“I don’t know,” I say, sniffling. “I just feel so awful.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Kelsey assures me. “You did what you thought was right, and you’re going to be an amazing journalist. Don’t let this discourage you.”

Her words offer some comfort, and I feel a little better knowing she’s here for me. After a while, I manage to pull myself together. Over the next few days, I throw myself into my schoolwork, channeling my emotions into writing. I polish my article, ensuring it’s thorough and well-researched. When I finally turn it in to the editor, I feel a mix of relief and apprehension.

A week later, my article is published in the school newspaper. It’s titled “Trading Secrets: The Untold Story of Campus Traders.” Much to my surprise, my article goes viral and the response is overwhelming. My phone buzzes with messages from classmates I barely know, professors stopping me in class and around campus, even strangers congratulate me on the piece. I’ve never experienced anything like it.

Despite the success, there’s a lingering sadness. It’s been two weeks since I last saw Ryan, and I haven’t heard a word from him. Each day, I hope to see him, to maybe have a chance to explain myself again, but he’s nowhere to be found. The excitement of my article’s success is dampened by his absence. I open up our text message thread at least once a day and think about messaging him but I stop myself when I replay our last conversation in my head.

One afternoon, as I’m leaving my creative writing class, my professor, Dr. Harris, stops me. “Hailey, I wanted to congratulate you on your article. It’s been the talk of the campus. Excellent work.”

“Thank you, Dr. Harris,” I say, managing a small smile.

“You’ve got a real talent,” he continues. “Keep pursuing it, and you’ll go far.”

His words mean a lot, but they don’t fill the void left by what I lost from writing that story. As I walk back to my dorm, I can’t help but wonder if Ryan’s read the article and what he thinks of it. I hope he understands why I did what I did, but the chances of us ever talking again seem slim to none. You’d never know we live on the same floor as I have yet to see even a glimpse of him in the hallway, the dining hall—anywhere.

Back in the dorm, Kelsey is waiting for me with a grin. “I saw your articles have gotten over a thousand shares online! You’re famous!”

I laugh, appreciating her enthusiasm. “It’s crazy. I don’t need to be famous though, I’m ok with hiding behind the curtain.”

“You deserve it, Hailey,” she says, giving me a hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Kelsey,” I say, hugging her back. “I just wish things with Ryan were different.”

“Give it time,” she says gently. “If it’s meant to be, he’ll come around. And if not, you’re still an amazing person and there’s plenty of other fish in the sea.”

Her optimism helps, and I try to focus on the positives. My article’s success is a huge step forward in my writing. Working on the school newspaper and focusing on writing has made me think that this will be my major moving forward and I need to keep pushing ahead, even if my heart still aches for Ryan.

As the days pass, I immerse myself in new assignments and projects, trying to keep my mind off Ryan. But no matter how busy I get, I can’t shake the feeling that something is missing. I just hope that one day, Ryan and I can find a way to reconnect and maybe start over. For now, I have to keep moving forward, one step at a time.

Two more weeks pass, and life continues at its usual hectic pace. My articles’ success has brought new opportunities and responsibilities. I get to choose stories after the seniors and professors offer to help me submit my writing to different collegiate publications. It’s exciting to have so many people in my corner, but I still wish I could tell Ryan all of this at the end of the day.

One Friday afternoon, Kelsey and I decide to take a break from our busy schedules and grab lunch off-campus. We choose a cozy café downtown, a favorite spot for students. As we sit down with our sandwiches and Diet Cokes, Kelsey fills me in about her latest class projects and her plans for the weekend. While I’ve been nursing a broken heart, Kelsey has been flourishing in her classes and in her theater group. She landed a supporting role in the upcoming play and she’s been running lines late into the night with one of the guys from the play.

As she talks, I listen with half an ear, my mind wandering back to Ryan. I haven’t seen or heard from him in a month, and the distance feels insurmountable. I know that we only went out on one official date but it felt like something special and it wasn’t the only time we’d hung out. Just as I’m about to confide in Kelsey about my lingering feelings, my phone buzzes with a new message.

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