Page 1 of Ink

Carmen

You have got to be kidding me.

Gray smoke billows out from under the hood of my car as I watch in horror from behind the wheel. A car whizzes past on the two-lane road, not even slowing to check to see if I’m okay. I am not okay. This is the second time this week that my car has decided to just stop working; the fifth time this month—and there’s still another six days left before we’re in a new month. I hit my fist against the steering wheel and curse. I mentally cannot handle much more of this and I know my bank account definitely can’t.

I cringe thinking about the money I’ve had to shell out on parts. My old Toyota Camry can’t handle that many more miles but I need her to keep going because right now a new car, even a new-to-me car, isn’t in my budget. If it wasn’t for the fact that my best friend is engaged to a mechanic and the owner of an auto parts store, I wouldn’t have been able to make it this long. Rayleighn really lucked out with Rider. He’s not even my man and he’s been so sweet to help me out the last few times my car has caused me grief. He’s only charged me for the parts and even then I can tell it’s been at a major discount. But now, right now, I can’t call either one of them.

Tonight they are at a cake tasting for their wedding and I refuse to intrude on such a special event. They both deserve their happiness, and while I don’t begrudge her even in the slightest, I’m jealous as hell right now that she got her happy ending and I’m still… well I’m still single—and I’m not going to open that can of worms.

I reach over into my purse and pull out my phone. It’s late and I hate to do it, but I’m going to have to call my papa. I know he won’t mind but he and my mama do so much for me already that I really don’t want to call and wake them. I don’t have any other choice, though. Other than Rayleighn and Rider I don’t have anyone else that I can rely on other than family. My parents help me so much already with my daughter, Lucia. I just hate to ask them for one more thing.

I knew going back to school to get my teaching certificate was going to be tough but now with my car frequently giving out on me, it’s making it even more of a challenge. I attend night classes two nights a week and on the other days I’m virtually learning around my schedule at the hair salon. When Rayleighn left the salon and went to work for one of Rider’s MC brothers at his construction company, I knew that it was time to get back to my education not only for my future but for my daughter. I want to show her that I didn’t need a man to support us and that I did it all myself. I want her to know that she can be a strong and independent woman just like her mommy.

I get a momentary pang of guilt when I think of her father. A one-night stand three years ago that ended with a broken condom that left me alone and pregnant. Then it led to him signing over all of his paternal rights to a child he never wanted or planned to be around. I would have to deal with that emotional fallout for years to come so yeah, I’d suffer through long shifts on my feet at the salon and I’d deal with my dying car too if it meant any kind of better life for my kid.

I’m about to hit the speed dial to my dad’s cell phone when the headlights of a car coming up behind me flood the interior of my car with light. I try to look out the rearview mirror but have to put my hand up to shield my eyes. I quickly look to make sure my doors are locked because I’ve seen one too many scary movies and I will not end up a statistic on the side of the road tonight. I quickly type in 911 on my phone and keep my thumb hovered over the button. As I try to squint my eyes to see more clearly, I realize it’s not a car but a truck and a tow truck to be exact. My heart drops into my stomach when I realize the odds of seeing the man I’ve successfully avoided for the last two and a half months are now slim to none. The karma gods must have it out for me tonight.

I watch him get out of the tow truck and ever so slowly make his way to my car. I can see his outline in my mirror, even in almost complete darkness with just his lights illuminating him, I can tell he’s walking sex. His thick thighs are encased in jeans that look like they’ve been worn a thousand times and molded perfectly to his strong thighs. His broad chest and the defined muscles of his arms can be seen in his silhouette as he makes his approach. When he reaches my window, he places his hands on my car door and I can clearly see all of the dark ink on his fingers and hands.

He bends down and lowers his head to peer in and I steel my spine to this encounter. I learned my lesson with him months ago. I can’t let my mind go down that road again. I liked him, if I think about him too long, I’ll remember all the reasons why I still do like him but when I took my daughter to Rayleighn’s Christmas Day gathering he completely ignored me and acted as if I’d grown a second head. Granted, I hadn’t shared with him that I had a child but it wasn’t a secret either. Up until then we had been flirty and had even had a couple of heavy make-out sessions. After the Christmas gathering, he completely ignored me, and when we have seen each other at gatherings, we’ve steered clear of each other. That’s the only thing I can think of that could have made him so standoffish.

When I turn to look at him, our eyes meet, and then, unexpectedly, he gives me a warm smile. The same smile that held me captive that very first night I met him months ago. I feel another pang in my chest but this time it’s from a longing for something I know I can’t and will never have. The man standing before me is unavailable to me. Apparently, in his eyes, I’m damaged goods. He probably views me as saddled with a child and lacking in spontaneity which he clearly wanted no part of. Whatever spark he must have felt months ago snuffed out the moment he saw me having to wipe my child’s runny nose on Christmas Day.

I try to return the smile, but I can feel it on my face, unnatural and lacking true feeling behind it. I’m almost positive I look deranged—one side of my face lifting while the other stays unsure. Either way, he ignores my facial expression and motions for me to roll the window down. When I turn my key in the ignition, it rolls the battery long enough for my window to slowly roll down. The moment it stops, Ink smiles again and says, “Car trouble?”

I nod. “Yeah. Again.”

He has the nerve to chuckle. “Yeah, I saw Rider working on your car earlier this week in the shop. When I saw it here on the side of the road I figured you were probably stuck again.”

For a moment, I’m taken aback. I mean I figured he’s seen my car in the garage since he works with Rider but I assumed I didn’t register high enough on his radar for him to think about me or give me a second thought.

“I appreciate you stopping.” It’s all I can think to reply without asking him several questions in return. I bite my tongue to keep the questions locked inside me.

It takes a beat or two before he replies, and when he does it’s all business, the warm smile he had for me just a few minutes ago is now nowhere to be seen. “Go ahead and pop the hood for me, will ya?”

“Ok.” I reach down and pull the lever to release my hood. I don’t know if I should get out or just sit in the car. When Rider or my dad has helped me in the past I’ve gotten out of the car and stood by them at the hood, intently staring at the engine like I can be of assistance but there mainly for moral support. In this case, I think it would be better to sit in the car and wait on his assessment, but my mother’s good manners that have been ingrained in me since childhood rear their ugly head and have me stepping out of the car and onto the dark side of the road.

When I round the hood and catch sight of Ink leaning over my car with one arm resting on the open hood, I have to stop myself from drooling. He looks so good. All that dark ink on his neck is clearly on display and his dark Henley shirt stretched over his muscles. I’ve seen him shirtless before—I tag along with Rayleighn and Rider at club gatherings sometimes—but the mental image isn’t helping my current predicament. The image of him standing there without a shirt on and all of his tattoos, clearly living up to his name. Then there’s the muscles upon muscles that keep it all running on a continuous loop in my head.

I must have a faraway look on my face or look completely overwhelmed because Ink holds up his hand and waves it in my face to get my attention. “Carmen, did you hear me?”

Thankfully it’s dark enough he can’t see the blush on my face from getting caught daydreaming about him. “Sorry. What did you say?”

“Looks like it's your radiator. I won’t know how bad it is until we get it into the garage but it’s definitely the radiator and maybe a few other things like bad connectors and some hoses.”

I wince thinking about how much all of that’s going to cost. If I think too hard about it, I might cry. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. By the time I release it and open my eyes, I’m resolved not to cry over it. I’ll take on new clients, I’ll get a second job if I have to but I’ll figure it out. I have to have a car, not only for work but for school and Lucia’s activities. My voice betrays me and it comes out shaky. “Ok. I understand.” I clear my throat and force myself to ask him for more help. “Can you tow it now and give me a ride back to my house?”

He closes the hood and looks up at me, finally meeting my gaze. He pushes his lips together in a flat line and when I think he’s going to tell me no, he nods his head. His jaw is tight and I can see he’s holding back. “Of course. Go ahead and get what you need out of the car. I’ll get it all ready and set up to get on the truck. The cab’s unlocked so just jump in once you’ve got what you need.”

I do exactly what he says because as my mom always tells me No le mires los dientes a un caballo regalado (don’t look a gift horse in the mouth). This night just took an unexpected turn and I’m in for a long night ahead of me. If I can make it through it without crying or drooling on myself, I’ll call it a win.

Ink

Out of all the nights that she could have broken down, it had to be tonight when I’m the one on call. Griz, Rider, and I all take turns being on call for the garage’s tow service. There’s only three of us that can drive the tow truck so we try to help each other out because we don’t get too many calls at night. Rider has wedding shit to do tonight and Griz is doing who knows the fuck what with the club so it was me who drew the short straw and ended up on call. What’s ironic is that Carmen never even called for a tow. I just happened to be driving home with the tow truck and saw her car, a car that I’d recognize anywhere, pulled over on the side of the road.

Her piece of junk car has been in the shop several times this month and I’ve overheard Rider talking about how he doesn’t know how much longer he can keep it going on the road. I know he’s trying to keep it going for her because she doesn’t have the money to spend on a new car and he’s been doing it for basically free. I’m not proud of it but I’ve eavesdropped on more conversations than I care to admit trying to pick up tidbits here and there that have anything to do with Carmen.

When I first met her, my jaw hit the floor, she’s a total dime. She really is that beautiful. Long, dark hair trailing down her back, skin that has that soft brown glow, and big brown eyes that when I looked into them, it felt like she could see me. Really see me. Not all of my tattoos or muscles but just me. All of her outside beauty was matched when she spoke. Her sense of humor and her banter were on point, and not only did I find her insanely attractive, but I liked her personality, too. In turn, she got my sense of humor. Most people think I’m either an asshole for rarely speaking to them or for the fact that half the things I do say when I decide to speak are sarcastic.

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