Page 63 of Walker

“Daddy?” Diesel asked as he reached out to wipe away his father’s tears. “Why? Where’d she go?”

Spike’s shoulders started to shake, and my heart broke for the scene they made. I remembered having to explain to Ariel why her father wasn’t coming back home. My boy was still so young then that he couldn’t even ask the questions that Diesel was. I stood, ready to go lend a hand because I understood how difficult it was, but Walker beat me there.

He wrapped an arm around Spike as he sat down on the floor beside him. Then my man pulled Diesel onto his lap and snuggled him. “Why’s my dad so sad?”

“There was a car accident,” Walker started to explain. “Your mom was in the car, and she got hurt really bad, buddy.” Spike broke down and sobbed there on the floor and I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house. Diesel glanced around and noticed too. That was when the first tear fell from his eyes. “She got hurt bad?”

“Yeah, buddy. She got hurt so bad that the angels came down from the sky and they took her away to a better place where she wouldn’t hurt anymore.”

“Can they bring her back?” He asked and my heart squeezed tight in my chest as Walker rubbed his back and held onto the man who had become his best friend and mentor.

“Your mom can’t come back now. She was turned into an angel.”

“Why? I want my mom,” the beautiful little boy cried out. The agony in his voice ripped my heart to shreds.

“Remember when I said that your mom was hurt so bad that angels had to come and take her away so she could feel better?”

“Yeah,” Diesel whispered as tears streamed down his face.

“Well, she’s going to be the angel that rescues other people who are hurt too bad to get better, buddy. If she doesn’t stay, no one will be there to help those other people the way the angels helped her.”

“But I want her. It hurts a lot in here,” he tapped his chest, and more sobs rang out around the room because we all felt that pain with him.

“The kind of hurt you have for your mom will get better. Even though you can’t see her anymore, she’s watching over you and helping you to heal your hurts, so you can stay here with your dad. She needs you guys to look out for one another. You, your brother, and your dad have to love a little harder now that your mom isn’t here to do it. Okay?”

“I don’t want her to be gone.”

“She knows that, buddy. Your mom doesn’t want to be gone either, but it is her turn to be the angel for someone else.”

Diesel crawled out of Walker’s lap and into his dad’s. They hugged onto each other and Griffon dropped down to wrap his arms around his father and brother as well. Ariel came over to me and leaned her head on my shoulder. I hugged her to me knowing she remembered having to hear the same kind of news. “That was really sweet what Walker told him.”

“He did better than I did,” I mentioned.

“You did your best, Mom. I love you and I’m glad you’re still here with us. I’m glad you chose Walker, too. He’s a good man and we all needed that.”

We hugged one another as my son, who couldn’t comprehend what was going on made his way to his new buddy. “Diesel?” He questioned. “We can share my mom.” Walker grabbed hold of my son and hugged him in his lap as Joshie held his hand out and Diesel took it.

After a few minutes, Spike’s sobs slowed, and Walker stood with my son in his arms. He reached a hand down and spoke softly to the broken man on the floor. “Come on, man, let’s go get you cleaned up.”

Griff and Walker helped Spike to his feet and Snake came over to scoop up Diesel. All six of the boys and men made their way down the hallway to where our bedroom was located. I wanted to go to them, but didn’t think it was a moment that they would want anyone else in on. Instead, I stood up and pulled Ariel with me.

“Let’s get this place cleaned up.”

For once, my daughter didn’t throw a fit about helping out and neither did anyone else. I think it was just the shift everyone needed to try to take their minds off the loss they all felt. We pulled together and tidied the common area together.

Later, when Walker finally made his way back out to me with my son in his arms, I immediately wrapped him up in my love. “I am so damn proud of the man you are.”

He shook his head. “Same thing anyone else would do.”

“But it was you who was there for him when he needed you most. He will never forget that. None of them will. I know I won’t. If I hadn’t already fallen in love with you, that would have clenched the deal.”

He stopped in his tracks and held me at arm’s length for a minute as he stared down into my eyes. “Did you just say that you fell in love with me?”

“Yeah, I guess I did.”

“That’s really fucking good, baby because I am so gone for you. I fuckin’ love you, Ree.”

“I fuckin’ love you too, Momma.” Walker laughed as I stared at my son who started to giggle.

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