Page 87 of His Bittersweet Regret

“Now, come here so I can take your clothes off and put them somewhere that won’t be on the floor.” He had grinned at me so widely, that there was no way I could refuse.

The memory was a sweet one of us learning to cohabitate. Truthfully, there wasn’t much of a learning curve necessary because we had always been effortless around one another.

“You okay?” He asked from the doorway.

I turned and smiled at him. “Just got lost in memories.”

He glanced at the chair with his clothes piled on top and grinned. “Some things never change.”

“They did that day,” I argued, teasingly.

“Well, I was semi-trainable. Probably as good as it gets really, considering I don’t actually own a hamper right now.”

“For shame! Wherever are you supposed to hide your dirty laundry when your chair can no longer accept the burden?”

Marsh laughed as he came to stand beside me. “Maybe, one day, a good woman – named Opal – will move in and set me straight all over again. Second time’s the charm, right?”

“I thought the saying was, ‘third time’.”

“Nah, we don’t need more than the one mistake.”

Marsh tugged gently on my hand to get me to follow him back to the living room. “I made some hot chocolate for you,” he stated. “Well, for us. Marshmallows for you, none for me though.”

I grinned. Marsh had always hated Marshmallows. He said they were weird globs of dust people put in their hot chocolate when he saw that I loved the packets that came loaded with marshmallows already.

“Why do you have the marshmallow kind in your house when you hate them?”

“They’re a symbol of hope, Opal.”

My heart did that weird squeeze thing while butterflies performed Olympic-level gymnastic feats in my belly.

“I mean it.” We both sat on the couch, so close that our legs touched. “Things have been crazy, and I started us off on bad footing with my insecurities and failure to communicate with you. I don’t want to keep going like that, babe.”

I didn’t bother to correct his use of an endearment. If I were being honest with myself, it was because it felt natural coming from Marsh, especially now that I’d let go of a lot of the hurt and resentment I felt for my ex. I hated the way he handled things before, even as I understood his reasoning and the pressure he’d been under.

“So, what do you want to do about that?”

“Talk,” he suggested. “About tonight, for instance.”

“What about tonight?”

“First, I feel like I should apologize.”

“What do you have to apologize for?”

“For blindsiding you, yet again.” He huffed out a breath before turning so that he was facing me, so I did the same. Marsh took hold of my hands in his as he continued. “I invited my family and your friend to watch you perform without even checking if it was something you wanted to do. I didn’t realize you hadn’t played in months. That’s just one more thing I feel like I need to atone for too. It really hit home that everything that has happened stole your music from you too.”

I shook my head, disagreeing with him. “That song was proof that it didn’t. Life just stole time from me, that’s all.”

“Come on, Opal, it’s all the same. The things I put into motion are the reason you no longer had time.”

“Things happen, Marsh. You can’t keep blaming yourself or how the one decision cascading into all the others that we might have made along the way. Did it contribute? Sure, but I could have chosen a different pair of shoes tonight, broken my ankle, and had to live with the consequences that came from it. Should I beat myself up for wearing the shoes, or the manufacturer for making them and causing my distress?”

“Thanks for trying to let me off the hook, but that doesn’t change the fact that I should have asked if you’d be okay with it.”

“Marsh, you can’t second guess every surprise you try to put together for people. Sometimes, they work out, others don’t, and then there are the murky in-between moments. I think tonight was the latter. There were parts of the night where I was shocked, frightened, and saddened. There were also parts, like when I connected with my music again, where I was elated and felt like a missing piece of myself had been put back in the puzzle.”

“Okay, we’ll pretend the surprise part wasn’t an issue then,” he chuckled while reluctantly agreeing. “There’s still the issue of my mother. I tried to convince you that she was better, when we first talked about hiring a nanny or looking into daycares. I was wrong. You were right. She wasn’t ready. I don’t know if she ever will be at this point. Maybe my father taking the steps he did tonight will push her to really work on things.”

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