Page 68 of His Bittersweet Regret

“Your mom is in rehab. Your dad is a mess. The whole Kennedy family is at odds with one another and according to you, it all stemmed from your dad’s regrets. Look at the mess your family is in and tell me that anything can ever go back to what it once was. Your dad didn’t even sleep with his secretary, and it destroyed your mother completely. How do you think I feel knowing you were with someone else?”

She had a good damn point. My parents pretended that their marriage was still pristine and the picture of perfection, minus that one blip. It had all been a lie though. The one thing I’d counted on when I left Opal was that my parents were able to go back to that picture of happiness after the mistakes my father made. That picture was a carefully constructed lie. You couldn’t go back.

Just like Opal couldn’t go back because the results of my mistake continued to haunt her. The same mistakes that stared her in the face the day she gave birth to our son. She couldn’t even go to her doctor’s office without worry of having to face my worst mistake – the one that went too far.

And if she went out with Joe, it would change everything for me too. Even if it never worked out with them. Knowing that she was with someone else, building memories with them, that he could make her laugh when I no longer could… Those things were almost worse than picturing anything intimate happening between them.

“I’m so sorry for everything I put you through,” I admitted.

“I appreciate that, but ‘sorry’ doesn’t erase anything, Marsh. I still see those pictures, those moments when I thought I’d die. Sorry doesn’t undo the moments that made me die inside like when Monica gave you your underwear, on the street in front of our old apartment. When she said what she did at the doctor’s office, or when Gabby was there in the delivery room.... Those are all permanent memories that are burned into my mind. I’m not the last person you kissed, touched, or even had sex with. I’m not the last person you took on a date, and the funny thing is, I can’t even remember the last date you took me on before you left me. I remember the dates you went on with other women in vivid detail.”

“I get it, Opal. There are things I did that can’t be undone. It’s a lesson I’m pretty sure my dad is coming to terms with right now as well. As you said, those decisions he made had a ripple effect. I honestly thought that I was saving us from my parents’ future.”

She laughed. “You took away our future.”

“I’m realizing that, even if I still don’t want it to be true.”

“Marshal?” She questioned.

“Yeah?”

“I will never keep you from your son, but we’re going to need that paperwork signed and filed with the courts about custody and visitation schedules.”

“It’s really over,” I mumbled.

“It’s been over since you walked out on me.”

“Can I come back tomorrow to see him? I promise not to get in your way or put pressure on you for more.”

“Of course.”

I nodded, kissed my son’s head, and said goodbye. Then, I left Opal’s apartment, knowing there was no more hope for the two of us.

27

Opal

“Are you sure that you’ve never done this before?” Joe asked me as I leaned over and took aim at the ball in front of me again.

“Positive. I always wanted to, but…” I had to stop myself from finishing the sentence because there was just something tacky about bringing up your ex-boyfriend while on a date.

“It’s okay to talk about him, you know? It’s not like I don’t know the family or your history. Plus, you share a son. Stands to reason, if I’m dating you, he’s going to be in your life.”

“I know, it’s just weird to tell my date that my ex-boyfriend never took me to play putt-putt golf because he thought it was lame.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Well, shows what he knows because you’re a natural, and if I’m not mistaken, having a blast.”

I grinned at Joe. “I am having a great time, thank you for doing this with me.”

“Anytime, Opal.” Joe’s grin was sexy as sin. There was something about him that made my heart pitter-patter more excitedly than usual. It was nothing compared to the way Marsh made me feel when we first started dating, but I’d chalked that up to first love.

“Opal?” I turned to see Bastion, Brixton, Jimmy, and Ryker standing off to the side of the golf course. It was part of an entertainment complex where there was an old arcade, thirteen seat movie theater, and even a go-kart track out back.

Jimmy hopped the fence and came over to give me a hug. He also gave one of those half hug, half back slap bro-greetings to Joe. “Joey, my man, good to see you.” He told him before turning back to me. “Opal, it’s good to see you too. I was hoping to stop by and meet my nephew sometime soon, now that I’m back.” It didn’t escape my notice that his eyes continuously bounced between Joe and me.

“Well, if you get done hanging out here early enough, you can stop by Marsh’s house to see him. He has Austin overnight tonight. He’ll be bringing him back sometime before noon, I think.”

After our recent talk about the state of our relationship, and the fact that I didn’t see us ever getting back together because too much damage had been done, Marsh had finally moved into the house he claimed to have bought for me. He did it because the twins were apparently selling their condo, and he needed a place where he could have our son over for visits. His parents’ house hadn’t been an option for so many reasons.

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