Page 5 of His Bittersweet Regret

“There’s no judgment here, but Beth, if you really want something like what Marsh and I have, you won’t find it on Tinder or by hopping into bed with a man before you even know his name.”

“You’re right.” She agreed as her teeth sunk into her bottom lip and sad eyes moved to meet my own. “I always thought it would be Brix,” she admitted. I knew about Beth’s crush on Marsh’s brother since we were in middle school, but the asshole had never given my best friend the time of day.

Brix being blind to my friend’s crush wasn’t what made him an asshole. He couldn’t be held at fault for not being attracted to my best friend. It meant his taste in women was questionable, but didn’t make him the jackass that he was. He did that part all on his own in so many other ways.

“He’s a jerk of the highest order, Beth. It’s time to forget the crush and move on. Lord knows, he isn’t waiting around for anyone.”

“I know that too,” she lamented. There had been many nights when we would all go out and she’d have to watch him leave with a different woman each time. I understood her heartache, even as I was glad I never had to suffer through it the way she did. What I would never understand is what she saw in Brixton Kennedy. He really was a class-A jerk.

“Are you going to tell Marsh tonight?” She finally asked me.

“No, I’m going to get an appointment with my doctor, so I can verify I’m really pregnant before I tell him. Hopefully, I’ll get one of those sonogram pictures of the black and white blob that everyone is always going on about. Then, I can put it in a little card and hand it to him or something.” I contemplated all the ways I might surprise my man with the news of our growing family. As I planned how to spring the news on him, I grew more and more excited at the prospect of seeing his face when he found out.

“I wish I could be there to see his face,” Beth told me, as if reading my mind.

“It’s going to suck having to keep the news to myself for a few days while waiting for an official confirmation. Please, don’t tell anyone.”

“My lips are sealed.”

~*~

A week went by since I took that test with Bethany, and today was the day I was finally able to get into the doctor. Marsh knew I had an appointment and would be late getting home. If the doctor confirmed my pregnancy, I’d have the test plus a sonogram photo – I hoped – to take to him to help me deliver the news. My nerves were a little frayed thinking about it because Marsh had been a bit distant lately.

I wondered if the funny looks he’d been giving me were because we were so in-tune with one another and he already knew, but was waiting on me to tell him. Then again, it could have been because he was still trying to figure out if the ring he was thinking about getting would be the one I wanted.

Our plan had been to finish college, get a year in with both of us employed in our chosen fields, and then take that plunge when we were secure and well on our way to being able to save for our own house instead of renting the apartment we were in. We had six months left on our lease, and just enough between the two of us for a small down payment on a starter home.

Neither of us wanted a huge wedding that would dip into our savings, so we were just going to do something small with our closest friends and family in attendance, but even that might set us back a tiny bit.

4

Marsh

“Are you sure about this, Marshall?” Our landlord, Gary, asked me. He was a nice, retired man who acted as sort of a grandfather to Opal and me since we moved into the apartment building. My gut clenched again. The nerves about confronting Opal left a sick feeling in my stomach as I handed the money to him.

“I’m sure. I already moved all my things out today.”

Gary’s head shook back and forth twice before he bowed it in what I could only assume was disappointment. “Opal is going to be devastated. Did she even have a clue you were going to do this?”

I swallowed thickly, trying to ease the growing ache in my chest. He wasn’t wrong. She would be broken. I was about to break the love of my damn life and for what? To go fuck some strange pussy? To see what the bachelor life was like that my brothers and best friend kept bragging about? I wasn’t sure if those experiences would be worth what I was about to do.

“I hope you know what you’re doing, boy. Some mistakes we make can’t be taken back. Have you really considered the ramifications? What if you realize Opal is the only woman for you, but while you’re gone she discovers a new man? He might not be right for her, but she might stick with him stubbornly because he’s the one that is there for her after you left her high and dry.”

“That’s not fair, Gary. I’m not leaving her high and dry. I just paid for her rent for the next six months.”

“Yeah? Where’d the money come from, son?”

“I was saving it for her engagement ring,” I mumbled.

He chuckled, but I didn’t hear an ounce of humor in the sound. “Her engagement ring, huh? Bet she’s expecting that’s why you’ve been acting a bit of a fool lately. Poor girl probably thinks you’re gonna get down on bended knee any day now. Boy, you seriously need to rethink this. I’ve seen you two together. Never in my life seen two people so damn in love. Why are you doing this? Every man gets cold feet at some point, but what you’re doing… What you’re about to do to that girl, son I don’t think you realize that there might not be any coming back from it.”

“I know what I’m doing, Gary. I have thought about it.”

He scoffed at me. “Think your brothers have been in your head so much you ain’t actually doing the thinking. This is them, telling you the grass is greener. It ain’t greener, son. It’s messier, and you do this, that mess will follow you no matter what happens. Broken hearts never get put back together the same way.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, even if she’s still waiting for you, when you finally pull your head out of your ass, she won’t be the same sweet girl you know. She’ll be different, broken, and that change will be on your shoulders.”

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