Page 15 of His Bittersweet Regret

“I’ve been excited since I found out I was pregnant. It didn’t matter to me what gender the baby was,” I explained honestly. I’d pictured both a little boy, who looked like his father, and a baby girl, who looked like me. If I were to be truthful, I had been hoping more for the little girl but only because I thought it would be easier on both my heart and as a single mother.

“Don’t worry, Opal, I’ll make sure he has all the male bonding time he needs.”

That declaration from Ryker made me break down sobbing in front of the only one of my baby’s uncles who liked me, the doctor, and the nurse who had to be in the room with all of us for some stupid reason or other. The pity in her eyes compounded my hormonal problem.

“Oh shit! Please, don’t cry, Opal. Whatever I said, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry about what you said, son.” Dr. Burns interjected. “She’s pregnant. You just triggered those hormones because she appreciated the thought.” Doc patted my thigh and our eyes met. He knew better. That wasn’t why I was crying, but he was trying to help me save face. We already had a discussion, in the beginning, about the baby’s father not wanting to be in his life. His. Jesus. I was having a baby boy and his father wanted no part of him. Of us.

My heart squeezed so tightly in my chest, I was surprised when it didn’t burst.

“Everything is on track for your June delivery, Opal. He’s growing healthy and strong in there. I am a little concerned about your weight gain. He’s doing great, but if you don’t start putting on more weight, we’re going to have to do something about that. You’re eating for two. Momma needs her share of the nutrients too. Don’t forget it.”

“I promise, I won’t. I’ve just been incredibly…” My words trailed off because I didn’t know how to fill in the blank myself. Busy? Sad? Angry? Confused? Frustrated? Take your pick or all of the above would do as well.

“I’ll make sure she at least gets a good dinner tonight,” Ryker offered.

“Good man. Will you be at the next appointment too?”

Ryker looked at me with a twinkle of excitement in his eyes. “It won’t be like this appointment. You won’t get to see the baby again.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Will we be able to hear the heartbeat?” He asked. Both the doctor and I nodded. “Then I don’t want to miss it.”

“Aw, you are such a sweet boy,” the nurse cooed.

Ryker narrowed his eyes at her in displeasure. The doctor had just called him a good man, and she downgraded him to boy level again. Typical seventeen-year-old that he was, took it as an insult.

“All right folks, we’re finished up here. I’ll see you again in four weeks. Monica will get you set up with an appointment up front.”

“Monica?” I asked, not liking the sound of that. I knew both of the women who worked up front and that was not either of their names.

“Monica James. You probably went to school with her at some point. She just started here a couple weeks ago.”

“I don’t like having her know my business,” I admitted to the doctor.

“She’s a professional and bound by HIPPA laws like everyone else who works here, Opal. I wouldn’t hire someone who would take liberties with my patients’ information.”

That’s what he thought. Monica James had the biggest mouth in the south. There was no way half the town wouldn’t know that I was knocked up, how far along I was, the gender of the baby, and when my next appointment was, by the time I walked out the door with the appointment card in hand.

10

Marsh

“Are you expecting a baby with anyone?” Monica asked me as we sat down to dinner. She was my thirteenth date since I left Opal.

I still hadn’t had sex with any of the women I’d taken out, and none of the dates had led to a second. My last, with Gabby Morrisey, a nurse who worked at the hospital, had at least ended in a heavy petting and make out session. About the time our clothes started coming off, she brought up Opal, and that effectively shut everything down.

“Why on Earth would you ask me something like that?”

She shrugged her shoulders at me, but her eyes never left mine, as if she was waiting for me to lie to her.

“I have never gotten anyone pregnant,” I told her. It was the truth. I hadn’t had sex with anyone since Opal, so it would be impossible. We were almost at the sixth month mark since I’d left her, and I thought maybe I’d have sex with at least someone else by now, but it just never seemed right.

“Oh. Well, now I understand then.”

“Understand what?” I asked, feeling a bit peeved.

“Well, I just thought…” She stopped mid-sentence and pointed out the window of the restaurant, where we had come to catch an early dinner before heading out to see a movie. Then, the plan was to go back to her place for some possible long-awaited action. “I thought that was yours, and I wasn’t ready to be someone’s stepmom, is all.”

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