Page 78 of The Broken Beginning: Part One

“What are you doing?

I spun to face my wife, and I couldn’t even find it in me to be angry that she had a whole career I never knew about. Instead, I was fucking devastated for her that she felt she had to use those names.

“Why that name?” I asked.

“It was to remind me that there are no happy endings outside of fiction.”

“Aw, fuck! Lily, you’re killing me!” I moved until she was right in front of me and then pulled her into an awkward embrace. It was only awkward because her belly kept the majority of our bodies from touching the way I wished they could in that moment. “I’m so fucking sorry, beautiful.” I might be a rough-as fuck biker, but I’m not too proud to admit that I cried in my woman’s arms as I held her. It wasn’t for me and all the time and memories I’d stupidly lost with her because of my own bullshit. No, it was for the damage I’d done to her.

My wife never deserved the amount of shit I heaped on her shoulders, whether I felt trapped by our situation or not. I should have respected her enough not to put her through that everything that I did, especially while she carried our first child. There was no going back and fixing anything though. We were stuck with the ramifications of my actions.

“I’m so sorry!” I murmured into her shoulder again as she ran her fingers up and down my back.

“I know. And I knew then that we didn’t have anything between us besides a kid you didn’t want at the time. What happened is in the past.”

“It’s not,” I reminded her while turning slightly to point an accusatory finger at her computer screen. “It’s right there, in your face, every single day. The reminder of what a piece of shit I am. No wonder I can’t get anywhere with you. Hell, every minute I’m gone, you dive into a world where you become the personification of your worst days and nights.”

She laughed at me then. “Okay, drama queen. It’s not all that, so stop getting your panties in a twist about it. When I first gave Stacey my pen name, I did it out of spite. I wanted to show all those bitches that I was more than they would ever be. They might have had you in ways that I didn’t, but I had a success they could never achieve. And it had the bonus of being a reminder that not everyone gets a happily ever after.”

“You can! You should! You deserve more than a happily ever after, Lily. Hell, you deserve far more than me, but I’ll be selfish and beg that we fucking start acting like the family we should have been all along. I want that. I want us to be a family. You and me, but also you, me, and our babies.”

“Merc, where have you been the past few months?”

“What is that supposed to mean? I’ve been right here with you.”

“Exactly! We already are that family.”

That shocked me. “You mean it? The you and me part too?”

“As long as that’s how it remains, then yes.”

“I promise,” I started to say, but she cut me off quickly.

“Nope.” Her head shook back and forth adamantly. “No promises.”

“Why the fuck not? You should demand promises from me.”

“Promises are easily broken, Merc. You started our marriage with broken promises. The only thing I ask from you, is that you show us every day that we are what’s important. You show me every day that I am the only woman who matters, and the only one you’re having sex with or sleeping with. That is what matters. I need to see the actions, not the empty promises.”

“One day, I’m going to make you a promise, and you’re going to believe me.”

She nodded her head. “For now, you just have to keep showing me, like you have been over these last few months, and we build from there.”

“Lily?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re an amazing mom!”

She ducked her head shyly when I told her that, as if it was something that embarrassed her.

“I’ve been watching you with Declan, and I think back to all the things I missed out on, and how much you struggled to do it all on your own, but you did. That kid is fucking amazing and it’s all down to you. I know I don’t tell you enough how much I appreciate you, and there was a long time where I didn’t even realize that I should have appreciated anything you were doing, so when I don’t say it enough – call me on it.”

“Never. That’s something that should just come from you when you feel it.”

“Then know that I’ve been watching you grow into this beautiful, talented, strong person, and I know exactly what I’ve been missing out on. Trust me when I say, I’ve been kicking my own ass a lot lately. But I’ve also been so damn thankful for you.”

“That means a lot,” she finally admitted before peeking up from under her lashes. I didn’t wait to ask for permission or hesitate, I dove in and captured her lips with my own.

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