Page 76 of The Broken Beginning: Part One

“I don’t like the idea of leaving you here alone,” Merc told me.

“We can set up a cot in the room,” Dr. Marks offered before looking at Declan. “Though, it’s not the greatest environment for a small child who will get bored easily and end up not allowing Mom to get the rest she needs right now.”

“Damn, Doc. Thanks for the guilt trip,” Merc mumbled.

Dr. Marks chuckled. “Just telling it like it is. Take your boy home, let Lily get her rest, and come back in the morning so we can discuss a plan to keep her as calm and stress free as possible.”

“Lily?” Merc asked, as if the final decision was in my hands.

“Go. I’ll be fine.”

Once Merc was gone, Dr. Marks popped his head back in my room, seeing that I was still awake, he came on in. “Just wanted to check in with you again before I go. I’m on call, so if there are any problems, they’ll page me immediately to come back.”

“Thank you.”

“Lily, I don’t mean to overstep here, but since I was with you for your first child, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay at home, beyond the fight you had with your dad. I know things were rough during your first pregnancy. It feels like maybe your husband has turned a corner and decided to get serious about life, but if that’s not the case and you need help…”

I smiled warmly at Dr. Marks. “Thank you for caring so damn much. I promise you; I wouldn’t be here right now if there was a problem I couldn’t handle. My husband has been a completely different person this time, and just so we’re clear, he has never been abusive toward me in any way. Neglectful – absolutely. Abusive – never.”

“Well, neglect can leave scars too, sweetheart, but as long as you aren’t in over your head, then I’ll leave it at that, but know that all you have to do is order a Crazy Hawaiian Pizza for dinner and I will get the ball rolling through a network I am close to in order to get you and your son the hell out.”

“You are the absolute best! It isn’t necessary, but you have my thanks and gratitude.”

25 - The Flip of a Coin

Merc

When we finally got Lily back home, I started sleeping in bed with her, just in case she had any problems and needed someone there to help. It was a fight at first, but eventually she relented, and I’d been lying beside her every night after we tucked Declan in bed. Then I woke up beside her every morning when our son came to make sure someone got up to feed him breakfast. How I was ever stupid enough to miss out on this the first time around was beyond me. I didn’t even mind that I was having to beat my dick half to death in the shower every night.

Dr. Marks informed me that gentle sex was okay, but not to push it. Since Lily and I didn’t exactly have a sexual relationship built already, it never seemed like a good time to bring it up, although, if her dreams were any indication, she was craving some physical action too. Some nights I woke to her grinding on my leg, and it took every ounce of fucking willpower to keep my hands to myself. As much as I wanted her, I wouldn’t risk our baby, or the possibility of her kicking me out of our bed.

“What are you doing?” Lily asked from where she was parked on the sofa watching mind-numbing cartoons with Declan.

“I’m making a little office space for you downstairs because you shouldn’t be climbing up into the loft right now.”

“Oh!” The genuine shock in her tone made me stop and put the desk down that I’d just brought into the house. It killed me that she was still surprised whenever I did something nice for her, but that was all on me, and as much as it hurt to realize how badly I’d fucked up; I knew my fuckups had done worse harm to her over the years.

“Where did you get that desk? It’s gorgeous!”

That washed away all the miserable feelings her surprise brought about. “Double-D and I saw some old guy throwing this out last week not far from the clubhouse. It wasn’t in the greatest shape then, but I’ve been working on it. Got it sanded down, patched up, and then stained it to match everything you have in here.” I glanced around at the dark cherry wood furniture that sat throughout the living room. “Where do you want it? I can put it out here or see if we can squeeze it into the bedroom.”

The simple roll-top writing desk wasn’t that big, but we did have a king-sized bed and several dressers in the bedroom that made it hard to fit anything else in there without doing a bit of moving.

“Out here is fine, that way I can keep a close eye on Declan while I work.”

“Did you used to take him upstairs with you?”

“Yes,” she offered with a roll of her eyes. “And he would be good for about ten minutes before he got bored and wanted to scribble in all my books.”

“I drawed you picsters!” My son corrected her, letting us know that even while his eyes were locked on the screen ahead of him, he was listening to everything.

“You draw the best pictures for Momma, but remember we talked about drawing them in the proper places.”

“Not the walls!” He repeated with a huff.

I had to turn away to hide my own amusement while Lily just covered her face with her book.

“So, where would you like the desk to go?”

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