Page 66 of The Broken Beginning: Part One

“Did you buy ME this car?” I repeated, emphasizing that he bought it for my use.

“Yes, Lily, I bought the damn thing for you.”

“Then I suppose you intended for me to be the one driving it.” I made a silly face at Declan that caused him to burst into laughter as I closed the door.

“That’s just wrong. Look!” He pointed at his son in the window but couldn’t wipe the smile off his own face. “You made my son laugh at me.”

“It’s tough out here in the world for grumpy bikers who can’t get their way.” I mock-pouted and teased as I happily jumped in the driver’s seat and locked the door behind me.

Merc sighed, silently conceded, and tucked himself into the passenger seat instead.

“Boy, you and I are gonna have a talk about whose team you’re on!”

“Momma’s team. She wins!”

“That’s right, baby!” I agreed cheerily with my son.

“Can’t even argue,” Merc mumbled. “I always want him to be on your team.”

That was an oddly sweet and unselfish thing for him to say. I might have to start marking the nicer things down in a journal or something so that when he went back to the Merc he’d always been, I could look back at the fond memories and remember the moments when he wasn’t a complete dick.

“Why are we taking Deck to the appointment? Isn’t it going to be weird for him to see all your bits?”

“He doesn’t have to see my bits, I’ll be mostly covered by a sheet and what do you think I’m supposed to do with him whenever there’s no one else to rely on to watch him?”

“Lil, I promise, you will always have me there to keep him if you need privacy for these visits. If not me, one of our dads…”

“Do you know how many appointments I went to alone when I was pregnant with Declan?”

I watched from the corner of my eye as he blanched. “That’s never happening again.”

“I’m a realist this time around, Merc. I don’t expect anything from anyone, and I have a plan A, B, and C in place already for when I go into labor.”

“You’re killing me,” he mumbled. “So damn sorry that I did that to you, Lily. You’ll never know how many regrets I have.”

“I’m not even trying to make you feel bad. You need to understand that saying sorry now doesn’t change how the past shaped me. It just did. Now this is who I am and how I look at things. There is no wishing away regrets and wrong doings, there’s only moving forward. Either you can move forward and accept the way the past has made me different, or you can get out of the way, so I don’t have to dwell there anymore.”

“Okay,” was all he managed to choke out after that.

~*~

By the time I got situated in the doctor’s office with the little paper blanket draped over my legs, Declan had asked about a million questions. “Why we here? What’s this? What’s that? Can I gets ice screams? Play wif me!” And on, and on, and on. Little boys do not belong at obstetrical appointments, and my headache told me that this was shaping up to be a very long pregnancy, relatively speaking.

“Well, it looks like the tests agree with you,” Dr. Marks said as he came into the room. You are definitely pregnant.”

“What’s preg-ant?” Declan asked his father while tapping a finger against Merc’s forehead. The doctor smirked at him as if to say, “Good luck with explaining that.”

“We’ll talk about it later. Let’s just be quiet while the doctor talks to Mommy, yeah?”

“Okay, but can I has a lollypops?”

“I don’t have any, Deck.” My boy poked his lip out in a pout that always made me giggle.

“There are some in the bag behind the screen,” I informed Merc. He looked at me like I’d lost my mind by not telling him that thirty or so questions ago, but I shrugged my shoulders. “Forgot I had them until he asked.”

Dr. Marks chuckled. “Mom brain got you down already?”

It was my turn to laugh. “Does it ever really end? I’m beginning to think not.”

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