Page 68 of The Broken Beginning: Part One

“Well, it’s not your body, so you don’t have to like him, but I do. I trust him and he’s going to continue to be my doctor.”

“He doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he can’t stand me.”

“Well, both times I’ve come in here to confirm a pregnancy, I’ve had to ask for an STD test, so I guess that doesn’t sit well with a doctor who tries to protect women’s health.”

“You didn’t have to do that, I’m clean.”

“I don’t know that.”

“I just told you.”

“When was your last check up?”

“I don’t know. About six months ago, I guess.”

“Yeah? And how many women have you slept with since then?”

“I never go without a condom.” It didn’t escape my notice that he didn’t have a number to throw out.

“That’s a lie, otherwise we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“You’re the only one I’ve not used one with.”

“No offense, but I find that hard to believe. Besides, even if it’s true, that doesn’t mean anything.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You can still get those diseases while being cautious. Did you use a condom on your tongue when you went down on those other women?” I asked. His head shot back in shock. “I will take that as a no. Did they use one while delivering oral to you?” He didn’t answer. “You do know that several STDs can be transmitted that way, right?” He didn’t answer, just clenched his teeth so hard I could see his jaw working with frustration.

“Look, I’d rather not discuss this right now,” I nodded my head toward Declan who was half-dozing in Merc’s arms. “I’m going to get dressed and be right out. If you want to go ahead and take him down to the car, I’ll meet you there.” I went to grab my Jeep keys out of my purse, but noticed they weren’t there. The bastard had already taken them, determined to drive us back since I wouldn’t allow him to drive here.

“Apparently, you already have the keys.”

“Yeah, I do,” he said with a grin before walking out of the room. I finished getting dressed, grabbed my prescription, my appointment card, and tried to pay for the visit too, but was surprised to find it had already been taken care of.

“Your husband already paid, honey. You’re all good.”

“Thanks,” I called out as I turned to leave the office, stunned that Merc would even think about making the payment for me.

21 – Overcoming Hard Truths

Merc

Leaving the doctor’s office with my son in my arms, I had never felt like a bigger piece of shit. It was clear what the doctor thought of me, and I was thankful Declan was too young to understand most of what just happened. The thought that my son might one day realize what a piece of shit I am and how horribly I treated his mother when she was pregnant with him, and while he was still young, killed something inside of me. I never wanted him to look at me as if I was the enemy, but there was no doubt that’s exactly how it would go down if I continued on the path that I’d forged for myself.

When I paid the bill for Lily’s visit, my gut clenched at the thought that I hadn’t paid one single dime of her visits where Declan was concerned. The bill for the day had been almost four hundred dollars. That was just one visit. She had done it all on her own the last time. My heart squeezed tightly in my chest as I put Declan into his big boy car seat and tucked the blanket that had been on the seat next to him, so that his neck wouldn’t lull too far to the side. Then I waited for Lily to come out.

When she emerged from the building, the sun hit her just right so that the little bit of copper in her hair seemed to catch fire, making the normally plain brown look extraordinary. She tipped her face up toward the sun, as if it was everything to feel those warm rays on her skin and all I could think was that I had never taken my family to the beach.

Some of the pictures that Shaina had used to torment Lily had been of us hanging out at the beach together, and remembering that was just another kick in the pants to the type of absolutely selfish prick I had been. No more. I vowed to myself as Lily approached that everything that I had belonged to my family now, that included the memories I wanted to make with them.

I opened the passenger door for Lily, and she simply shook her head and tittered out a small laugh, almost under her breath, like she didn’t want me to know she found my bullshit amusing. I soaked it all in as she settled into the seat, and I shut the door.

“Want to go get some lunch while we’re out?”

She turned back to look at our son. “Maybe just pick something up on the way home. He’ll be a cranky little brat when he wakes up. He always is after falling asleep on car rides.”

That was something I did not know about my own son. “Okay, what are you in the mood for?” I asked so that I didn’t once again dwell on the fact that there was so much that I should know and didn’t.

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