Page 17 of The Broken Beginning: Part One

“I’m sorry,” she cooed while trying to put on that pout she thought looked real. It didn’t. If that was the best she had, her acting chops were not going to get her far in the Hollywood dream she wanted to chase so badly.

I sat on the edge of the cot, elbows on my knees, head in my hands, and just tried to breathe. How had my life drifted so far off fucking track? Brinley started rubbing my back in steady circles.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t keep bringing it up. I just don’t like that she got things that were supposed to be mine only.”

“I know,” I mumbled into my hands. “I know that Brin. We can’t do what you’re asking though. We can’t make a baby together when all this other shit is hanging over my head. You don’t understand how dangerous it is to even think of doing that. Boone would fuckin’ kill you and me both for the disrespect. And if by some miracle he didn’t, Rob would. If we managed to escape their wrath, it would only be because Lily stepped in, and you know what? That can’t happen. Me being the father of two kids at eighteen can’t happen. The first one should have never happened to begin with.”

“How is it disrespect when we’re in love with one another?” She asked, ignoring everything else I just said. “We were together, Damon! You were never with her!”

“It doesn’t matter because I still had sex with her and now that fallout is my burden to bear.”

“And mine too, because now it means I can’t have you.”

We sat in silence for a bit letting those words and the reality behind them settle in. “I can’t do this tonight,” she finally said. “I need to go.”

“I’ll take you.”

“I already texted Emily to come get me.” As the words were coming out of her mouth the beams from headlights flashed through the window at the front of the shack. I didn’t even bother questioning when she’d managed to text her friend to come get her. Obviously, I was more out of it and lost to my thoughts than I realized.

“We’ll figure things out, but for tonight, maybe you just need to stay here and be alone for a bit,” Brinley told me as she stood to leave.

“Brin, you know I love you, right?”

“I know you do, but is it really enough when you chose your club over me and married another woman?”

She left.

I threw my body back onto the cot, ignoring the puff of dust that plumed up around me as a result. Well, I ignored it until the sneezing started. I had been about to fuck Brinley here, in a cloud of dirt, locked away in a primitive hunting shack that was no more than a glorified tool shed. My girlfriend had become the dirty little secret I had to keep, and I was running on fucking empty with no answers as to how to get my fucking life back.

7 - Lonely Nights

Tiger Lily

No one said a word when Merc left the house after looking around at the loft area. Our fathers stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say. What could really be said to make this better? One glance down at myself and I realized how ridiculous I must have looked to all of them. The crown of flowers still rested in my hair, the sheath dress and brocade beading were tight across my boobs and the rest draped around me all the way to my silver-slipper clad feet.

I looked every bit the sad bride that I was. When I went to smooth down my dress, my hand slipped into view, still naked with no ring to symbolize the union of two people who became one today. This was not what my wedding night was supposed to look like. Granted, I expected no less when we were forced into this, but I at least thought I’d wear the mark of being a married woman now. My eyes must have betrayed something of what I was thinking because Boone started in after clearing his throat.

“We’ll get you a ring,” he offered.

“Why? I didn’t marry you.” I told him bluntly. “The man I married didn’t want me to have one, so I won’t have one.”

“Some of the old ladies moved all your things over here earlier today,” my dad said in an attempt to change the subject.

“Is that why none of them attended my bullshit wedding?” My father winced.

“They were busy setting all this up for you, darlin’. We wanted it to be a surprise. Something good for you today.”

“Imagine, getting married and the “something good” you have to look forward to that day is a house that was filled and arranged by some club women who probably just didn’t want to have to witness my shit show of a wedding.”

“Fucking hell!” My father hissed.

Boone’s head hung low on his shoulders. “We thought we were doing the right thing for you, darlin’. Your father gave them all your ideas. I know most of this is stuff you picked out yourself. They just threw it together for you.”

I nodded because he wasn’t wrong. Being a brat was a defense mechanism so I wouldn’t break down into a sobbing heap of emotion in front of them. “Can I just be left alone now?”

“You want us to leave?”

I met my father’s eyes for the first time in a while. “Yes.” It was the only word I had left today. Being alone was the only thing I wanted, and there was no worry that my husband would be back to do his duty and consummate our marriage. I think we had a loophole with that since I was already knocked up with his kid, so he would never have to touch me again. Truthfully, that was for the best. His touch could be addictive, and I didn’t want to get used to it only to have it ripped away from me again. The one humiliating time when he jumped out of the truck after having sex with me was plenty.

---