Page 10 of Letters to Lily

Kade: WHAT?

Jason M: I stopped by her apartment to check on her, and some dude was carrying her in like they just got married or something. I mean, no dress, but you know, she was in his arms. It was early morning too.

Kade: WHAT? Back up a minute. Did she ever say anything when you told her what was going on?

Jason M: When I first told her, you had to go to Vegas she didn’t even respond. Then when I went to talk to her in person she was in the arms of some dude. I didn’t bother dealing with her after that.

Kade: I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around that scenario.

That’s when I had picture texts coming in. Two of them. One with my girl wrapped up in some guy’s arms, sitting in his lap on the landing outside of her apartment. I couldn’t make out her face, but it was definitely Sasha. She was wearing the shirt I’d had made for her on her last birthday. Then another picture came through. It showed the dude carrying her over the threshold, into her apartment, just like Jason had said.

Kade: WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?

Jason M: Dude, sounds like you have enough to worry about back there for now. I didn’t want to show you those, but… After all the shit your dad used to pull…

Kade: Yeah, thanks for looking out. I have to run back to the hospital, talk later.

My heart was trying to beat its way out of my throat, where it had lodged as I looked at those pictures. I sent a quick text to Sasha again.

Kade: Hey, just got a phone again after Jason killed mine. In Vegas dealing with family issues. I’m sure, Jason told you. Mom is in hospital now. Give me a call, not sure when I’ll be able to come home.

Sweet Sasha: Error Invalid Number. Please resend using a valid 10-digit mobile number.

What the hell? I checked it, and the number was definitely the right one. Sasha had her cell phone number just as long as I’d had mine. What were the odds that she’d change her number the same week I did? I felt the blood drain from my face. Maybe, pretty good if she thought I refused to talk to her again after our fight, and then she started seeing someone else out of spite.

Kade: Jason, you sure you texted Sash? Her number isn’t working.

Jason M: I think she had it changed, but I definitely got your message through before that.

Kade: Do you have the new number?

Jason M: No.

Panic started rising and tasted much like bile coming up from my stomach. I was about to lose it. My number snafu meant that she wasn’t going to be able to contact me, and I certainly wasn’t able to contact her now. I didn’t have my full address book saved in my cloud. That meant I didn’t have Sasha’s mom’s number, and she had just moved in with her boyfriend, so her home number wouldn’t be the same anyway. “FUCK!” I yelled out into my empty hotel room. The same hotel room where my mom tried to kill herself just days ago. My life was really beginning to suck.

Chapter 5

May 2

Everyone has recurring nightmares at some point in their lives. Mine was unusual in that I had lived my nightmare. Once in a while, I could change the ending and turn it into a sweet dream. For the most part, I was stuck re-living the shitty episode from my teen years. That memory was the first moment I knew what heartbreak was all about. The past week had nothing on that day, and yet I still woke from that dream in a cold sweat like it could possibly be worse than being knocked-up by the love of your life and then abandoned.

I held out until the very last minute, turned down three potential dates, and ended up almost canceling on my senior prom because the one person I hoped would ask me, never did. He told me, in confidence one morning, that he was waiting for the right moment to ask that someone special. The moment that would make it seem like a fantasy thing. I just knew he’d been talking about me. So, I waited. I waited all the way until the day of prom when I watched my best friend get down on his knees in the hallway in front of Andrea Springer and sing to her in order to get her to drop her date and go with him instead. Of course, she said yes. Her date stormed off in a huff, and I stood there, willing away the tears that were forming in my eyes. Luckily, Kristin had been standing nearby, saw me, and whisked me away from the school for the rest of the day.

My misery didn’t end there though. No, because in all his romantically stupid notions, Kaden had pre-purchased tickets for himself, Andrea, and me. Mine, he bought when he said he thought I might be a lost cause with getting a date. He actually said that to my mom, not me, but it still hurt. Not only had he asked someone else out, he didn’t think anyone else wanted me either. Cue my second heartbreak of the day when I had to hear that.

Sadly, I had already purchased a prom dress in the hopes that he would ask me. Since I had the damn dress, that left me without an excuse about why I couldn’t go. When a limo rolled up to my house at seven that night I watched as Kristin and her date Todd got out, and then I had to choke back my emotions as I watched Kaden help his date, Andrea, out of the limo too. “Why do we have to get out here and take more pictures? She couldn’t even get a date.” Andrea’s sneered comment carried across our empty lawn and my mom gave me a pitying look before she pasted a bright smile on her face. For her part, Kristin looked ready to deck the girl, but her date was literally holding her back. Kaden pretended not to hear her, simply muttering that I was his best friend.

“Mom,” I tried begging one last time. “Please, I don’t want to do this.”

“Sasha, what’s the matter? It is perfectly okay to go stag to prom.” Her whispered encouragement only punched me in the gut further.

“You don’t understand,” I pleaded with all the emotion I could muster in my eyes, and I think she finally got it, as she started pushing me back to the house with a sniffle of her own.

It was too late though. Kade came up and grabbed my hand, “Come on, pictures for your mom, and then we’re off.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” my mom tried to at least be helpful then. “We already got all the pictures I needed.” In truth, she had only taken a couple, and was waiting to get some of Kristin, Kade, and me together. Kade looked up, almost hurt by the fact that we wouldn’t be taking pictures together, but then his date opened her mouth again.

“See, this was pointless, we could have just let the driver honk for her, like I said.” Kade turned his face towards her then, and I didn’t hear what he said, but whatever it was, it shut her up. I moved past the both of them to the limo and hunkered down in the far corner once I was in.

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