Page 7 of Everlasting

Lily shrugged her shoulders. “No way to know that. Hell, look at Merc and me. I never would have figured we’d still be together after all this time.”

“When I was in Florida, I used to imagine all the women he was with and how happy they must have been to be a part of his life the way I wished I could be.”

“Honey, one thing I do know for certain, that man loved you and he was never unfaithful. Well, aside from the time that whore got hold of him, and well, shit, that other time that other whore got hold of him too!” She glanced up at me making her eyes really big as if she was surprised, and we both ended up in a fit of giggles.

“Well, when you put it that way!” I told her through my laughter.

“You know what I mean. He was never unfaithful to you. Not by his own doing. And let’s be honest, when that second whore got her claws in him for a night, you were actually with another man, so really…”

“I know! Don’t remind me of him. Like I said, every time I think of the past it makes me wonder ‘what if?’. I can’t go down that road though. That’s not the life we were given, and I don’t want to get lost in the past.”

“That’s good. It’s not a healthy place to be.” She tipped her head toward the box at my feet. “Do you want to read any more of those?”

“Will you stay with me while I do? These are all from the first time we were apart. I’m not sure I can handle everything he might have had to say to me during that time.”

“I think you might be surprised. I have nowhere else to be and honestly, you’re doing me a favor by sharing this. It’s keeping my mind off my boy.”

So, I ended up spending the next three hours reading through some letters CJ had written me when we were so young, it shouldn’t have mattered that much to him. I shouldn’t have mattered that much. But I did because he was right about one thing. I was meant to be his and he was always meant to be mine too. There was no denying that after all of our years together and the ones we spent wishing we were.

Chapter 6

Two Weeks

Ever

The sound of a motorcycle rumbling into my driveaway used to bring me comfort knowing that my man was coming home once again. Unfortunately, I knew the sound his bike made and while close, the one that pulled into my driveway wasn’t it. I glanced out the window to see my brother-in-law, Jay, kicking his stand down and climbing off of his Harley after shutting it down. My stomach dipped with the disappointment I felt. I also wondered what it meant. Christina and Jay still lived in North Georgia, about five hours away from here, so the fact that he was here couldn’t mean good things.

“Ever,” he called out as I moved to open the front door for him.

“Jay,” I responded as he moved inside and immediately pulled me into a hug.

“Sorry I didn’t get here sooner. Dad just told me a couple of days ago and I had to get someone to cover for me on the tour.” Jay worked security for Redemption Inc., a company run by the female motorcycle club his wife was a member of. The type of security he specialized in was concert security, more to the point, personal concert security for some pretty big headlining bands.

“You didn’t have to come,” I told him.

“I did, and we both know it.” He leaned back and took in my appearance. “Have you been getting any sleep at all?” I knew what he was seeing. The dark circles under my eyes had become a part of my normal, everyday appearance. My unbrushed hair was just another example of how I was letting myself go in favor of taking care of the girls and worrying over my husband. Hell, I hadn’t even been to work in the past two weeks. The guys had been good about getting my appointments rescheduled or taking on some of my clients when they were able. We had a new woman in the studio, Sarah Pienaar, who was pretty close to my own style of art, so she had actually picked up quite a few of them. I just glanced around desperately, hoping the room would have something for me to tell Jay, because honestly, there were no words left in my brain. Just worry.

“What the hell am I supposed to tell my kids?”

“Just be patient,” he tried to soothe. “We found evidence that he’s still alive,” my brother-in-law informed me. At least it was more than anyone else had bothered to share in the past couple of days.

“Be patient?” I asked him. “Their father was supposed to be home weeks ago. How do you think I should explain that to your nieces, Jay?”

He sighed heavily. “I don’t know what to tell you here. We have evidence that my brother is alive and being held by The Trinity Group somewhere. I don’t know much more than that, but it’s better than nothing. We’re working on finding him, Ev. We won’t give up, I promise.”

I rolled my eyes, hearing yet another promise form one more person who had let me down over the years. I hoped he was right though because I sincerely didn’t know what in the hell I was going to tell my kids if their father never made it back to us. Hell, I didn’t know what I was going to tell my heart. I couldn’t lose him. Deck was my everything.

“I know my word doesn’t mean shit to you. I know that you may have forgiven me and moved past everything, but that doesn’t mean you ever have to trust me again. I get it. He’s my brother though. I already lost one brother to stupid club bullshit. I’m not about to lose another. Even if you don’t trust that I’d keep my word for you, trust that I would keep it for him, for my nieces, and for the little one you’re growing in your belly. I will do whatever is in my power to bring Deck back home where he belongs. While I’m in town, if you need anything, you let me know right away!” Once he said his peace, Jay didn’t stick around. Instead, he took off, most likely heading for the clubhouse. I wasn’t sure if he would be welcome there or not. I knew he hung around the guys from the Sierra High Chapter quite a bit, but I didn’t think he ever bothered to put the Aces High MC kutte back on.

I think Jay always blamed the club for what happened with us too and just how far it all spun out of control. He definitely blamed them for what happened to Toby though. My brother hadn’t been speaking to Jay much back then because of the fallout over what happened with me. I was pretty sure Jay felt that if it had just been some teen drama, that remained seen as only that, all of it would have blown over quicker. He wasn’t wrong about that. I also knew that because my brother didn’t have his best friend at his side anymore, it made it that much easier for someone to target him the way Seneca and Crow did.

Jay had been right though. I didn’t trust him to get the job done. I didn’t trust any of them to do it. To be honest, I didn’t trust anyone. Deck, he was the one person on this Earth that I put my complete faith in and even when I opened the manilla envelope that had been left in my mailbox with no postage on it a couple of days after Jay’s visit, I still believed in Deck.

What I saw in that envelope made it extremely difficult to do that though. It took me a few looks, more like dropping the pictures only to look them over obsessively again moments later, before I saw the cracks in the narrative that someone was trying to tell me. This wasn’t real.

The pictures were of my husband with another woman. At first glance, my heart dropped, stomach sank, and they had their desired effect to unsettle me and make me think the worst of the man I loved. But then, something about them nagged at me and I picked them up again, noticing more things that time. They were not sexual in nature but they did look intimate. The woman was touching his face in two of the photos. One had words scrawled across it in a fancy handwriting, “He is no longer yours, stop looking.” Yeah, like hell I would ever stop looking for my husband and the father of my children. Dream on, bitch! Deck’s eyes were shut and his face appeared to be bruised in spots, but I had to look a little harder to see those things. At first glance, the intimacy was a kick to the teeth. At second glance, the cracks in her narrative began to show through. The woman seemed to be in awe of him, but again, his eyes were closed. He looked the way he did in a fitful sleep, brows scrunched down into a point at the top of his nose, wrinkles were at the bridge, adding to his less-than-relaxed appearance and the fact that his eyes remained closed in every shot said more than the woman did with her thinly veiled threat.

I took my phone out and dialed my brother-in-law. “Yeah?” He answered.

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