Page 44 of Everlasting

“In keeping with the honesty I promised, I don’t think he’ll want to see you when he wakes, at least not yet.” My head snapped back as if I’d been physically assaulted by his words. Durbin held his hands out to me in a calming gesture. “It’s not that he won’t want to see you. I’m sure that’s nearly all he can think about, but he also knows that there are things that were done to him that he feels great shame for and it’s going to take him some time to work up the courage to deal with that and face you with the truth.”

“I already know,” I told him quietly.

“No, you suspect. If he tells you, then you know, and the fear isn’t in you knowing, it’s your reaction that will matter the most. Think on that while you’re checking on your friend.”

A text came through just as I turned to leave.

Ava: I need you to come to the house, please, as soon as possible. Love, T.

My heart was in my throat as I left the clubhouse, followed closely by Angel Girl, Christina, and MiMi.

The girls outside, at my behest, while I made my way in to check on Ava. The door was unlocked, which was my first sign that something wasn’t quite right. The second was the deathly quiet of the place. I looked around the living area of the house, the space where Ava had invited strangers into her home to converse with loved ones from the other side. She wasn’t around and it didn’t appear as though she had been using the space recently.

I moved through the rest of the house, room by room, until I found her bedroom. There, lying on the bed, still and peaceful, was Avalyn’s body. I moved closer and leaned in to touch my fingers to her neck. Her body was still relatively warm, but there was no sign of a pulse at all. I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling was because Toby was really there with me or not, but an overwhelming sadness settled into my bones as I stared down at the waif of a girl who had put her life on hold to help me. Now, she was gone, and had to wonder if it was the price that she paid for communicating with Toby. I wasn’t stupid, I knew she did something to make his help possible in a different way. “Oh, Toby, I’m so sorry. This shouldn’t have happened. Was this because of me? Because of Deck? Did we do this to her?”

A warmth brushed across my cheek that I couldn’t explain, but it instantly made all those questions and doubts disappear. I couldn’t explain it to another soul as long as I lived. Luckily, I didn’t have to. The communication between my brother and I would just have to live in my heart for the rest of my days. In the next life, people who were around during this phase of our lives would understand what happened here.

I bent back over and kissed Avalyn’s forehead. “Thank you for everything, my friend.” That same warmth brushed my cheek again as I took a step back just as footsteps approached the bedroom.

“Sorry, sister, you were taking so long we got worried,” I heard Christina call out just before she came through the doorway. “Oh shit!” She jumped into action immediately and crawled onto the bed to check Ava’s pulse as I had done.

“She’s already gone,” I informed her needlessly. Christina still checked for herself and then turned to me.

“Oh, Ever, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how it was she was helping you with everything, but I do know that without her help we wouldn’t have found Deck. Do you think…” she didn’t give words to her question, just let it hang in the air, but I knew what she was asking. Did I think her death had anything to do with how she got the information we needed?

I shook my head. “She wasn’t well. I’m guessing this was just her time,” I told her, not knowing if that was entirely true, but believing it was when that same warmth wrapped around me and left me with the feeling of contentment rather than sadness.

Two Weeks Later

Deck was still refusing to see me, the kids had heard enough to know that their daddy was back, and the girls were both starting to act out as a result of me keeping them from their father. I wanted to scream, cry, and pull my hair out. If I did the right thing for one person, I was hurting someone else, and meanwhile it felt like no one gave a shit that I was dying inside. My biggest fear while Deck had been gone, aside from his death, was that he would choose a new life, a new woman, and forget all about me or not want me anymore. We got him back only for it to be true. At least, it felt true every time I went to the clubhouse and was turned away again. My only comfort while away from Deck had been that one of my guys, the men I trusted with my children’s lives, was there to guard the door to Deck’s room day and night. When I explained to them that I had a bad feeling about the possible mole in the club, they all assured me that they wouldn’t leave him alone. I just wish they could offer assurances that my husband wasn’t about to become someone from my past rather than my future too.

A knock on my door startled me out of my pity party. For one brief moment, my heart leapt in my chest, and I wondered if Deck had finally come home. Then, I realized how stupid that was because this was his house, and why the hell would he need to knock on the door? It seemed I wasn’t out of hope, false or otherwise, just yet.

“Can I help you?” I asked the slightly younger man who was admiring my porch swing with a smile on his face.

“Oh! Sorry, I was just thinking that my sister would love your house. She’s always going on about a porch swing just like this one,” he grinned at me as he tipped his head in the direction of the swing. “Of course, she wants the wraparound porch to put it under too,” he carried on jovially as if his presence hadn’t just given my heart a jolt of adrenaline.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know you or your sister,” I started.

The grin on his face slipped then. “I thought you would be expecting me,” he mentioned as he glanced down at a folder in his hands. “I have some paperwork to go over with you this morning, a few pieces to sign, and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“Who the hell are you?” I finally asked, losing my patience with him.

His brows drew together in question, but he answered me anyway. “My name is Brain Grist. I’m a lawyer with Avery, Malloy, and Grist here in Charleston.”

“A lawyer?” That earlier shot of adrenaline was nothing. NOTHING, compared to the one I experienced in that moment. Had Deck decided on the coward’s way out and chosen to send me divorce papers like this? No! There was no way he would be so cruel. Then again, I didn’t know him anymore. He had only been gone a year, but that year signified an absolute lifetime for him considering the things that happened while he was gone. Tears started bubbling up behind my lids as I closed my eyes and prayed for a miracle, right there in front a stranger on my front porch.

“I’m terribly sorry for your loss,” the man added as an afterthought to his introduction when he watched my reaction, and pinned it for the wrong kind of grief. “Ms. Sinclair left instructions to come see you, but she wanted to give you a little time after her death before it happened.”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Sinclair?” I asked.

“Avalyn Sinclair,” he answered, seeming even more curious that I didn’t know who his client was.

“Of course,” I mentioned as I released a relieved sigh. “Please, understand that I have a lot going on right with several sick relatives undergoing medical treatment, Ava’s passing, and twins and a baby to care for,” I told him as I heard Archer cry out. “I’m a bit frazzled.”

“I understand,” he offered, even though it was clear by his face that he had no sense of understanding at all.

“Please, come in,” I held the door a little wider and then moved to close it behind him. Once I had him settled in at my kitchen table with his paperwork, I excused myself to go get my son.

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