Page 17 of Everlasting

“Okay,” I whispered into his neck when he pulled me closer.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, just okay. I love you and I will support you doing what you think is best. I know out of everyone out there, you have one of the biggest reasons to get him back to us. I believe in you. You will find him and bring him home.”

“I’ll be coming back to you too, you understand that, right? We aren’t done with our story yet, sweetheart.”

The hot water heater took that moment to give up the ghost and I felt the instant blast of cool water against my back. “Ahh!” I screeched out. “I would say you just melted me with your words, but the shower made sure that didn’t happen. What do you say we get dried off and spend some time alone in bed for a bit before you head out again?”

“I’d say you just read my mind,” he laughed as he swatted my ass. “Now, turn that fucking water off, it’s cold.”

Chapter 14

Birth

Ever

Tears burned down my cheeks as I shook my head and denied the inevitable one more time. “I can’t do this yet. Not without him,” I pleaded with the last bit of strength I had.

The door to the hospital room opened and Momma-Luce entered. She looked so frazzled, but the moment our eyes connected, everything I was feeling was reflected back to me. She knew. She would understand. Of course she would. She had to endure giving birth to my brother without our dad there. The moment the thought hit, my emotions were completely unleashed, and I couldn’t hold back the sobs that escaped. “Not without him,” I begged again.

“I know,” Momma cooed in her sweet voice as she approached me and shooed one of the nurses out of the way. “I know, baby girl. He should be here. He would want to be here.” Her words only made me cry harder. The heartache I felt was stronger, even than the contractions that continued to rip through my body. “He can’t be though, so he would want you to be strong for him, for your baby, and those beautiful girls you have. You can’t keep waiting, honey. It will hurt you and the baby.”

“Momma,” I keened in a pathetic whine as she hugged my face to her shoulder.

“Shh, baby. It’s time for you to do this now.”

“He’s never coming back to me, is he?”

“I believe he will. You better believe it too because that man has one thing keeping him going wherever he is. He has the memory of his family and the need to get back to you. Now, come on, let’s not disappoint him. We need to bring my newest grandbaby into this world.

Two hours later, at 6:54 pm on July 12, 2019, my son was born without his father there to welcome him into the world. I couldn’t help but think that history was repeating itself in an odd way as I watched my mom sweet talk my baby boy.

“Do you have a name for him yet?” I had a name in mind for this occasion, but never got to run it by Deck.

“I don’t want to,” I started to say but turned away, unable to look at the beautiful baby I’d just brought into the world. It was so painful to think about the fact that everything was up to me this go round. My husband was missing everything and I understood that it was against his will, yet, there was still that niggling doubt at the back of my mind wondering if there was any truth to the images that had been delivered to my door. I hadn’t received anything else in months, but that didn’t mean good news. It could mean that he was on board with the woman’s plans by that point. There was also the possibility that it meant that he wasn’t alive any longer.

When I closed my eyes to get some sleep, I fell right into a dream where I stepped backward in time. I was standing by Toby’s grave, just staring at the monument to his life. “Not really flattering for my figure is it?” A voice called out, startling me from my incessant staring.

I turned to see my brother there, looking just as handsome as he did the last time that I saw him alive. “Toby?”

“In the flesh,” he offered up on a laugh before looking down at his own body. “Well, so to speak, anyway.”

“No offense, but I thought I would dream of Deck today,” I informed my brother. He didn’t take it personally. Instead, my Toby just laughed at me.

“I’m sure that’s who you would rather visit you, but you’re just going to have to put up with me for a minute.” He seemed thoughtful for a moment. “How did you know this was a dream?”

“Well, if it’s not a dream, then I guess they’ll be dropping my body in the ground beneath one of these things soon,” I told him as I patted the cool stone in front of me. The strange thing was that I could actually feel the morning dew that had accumulated on the stone too. That was a level of detail I never really experienced in dreams before. As if reading my mind, Toby gave me an explanation.

“First of all, you said that out loud. I’m not reading your mind. Secondly, everything feels more heightened because I’m here with you.”

“Jesus, Toby, you have a massive ego in my own dreams!” I chuckled and he returned the gesture.

“One day, you’ll understand. I wanted you to know that I’m proud of you. That your son is amazing, and that I’m doing everything I can to help bring his daddy home to him.”

“What do you mean?”

“You didn’t think I was sitting idly by on my ass in heaven getting fat and being blown by angel chicks, did you?”

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