Page 47 of A Twist of Fate

I tipped my chin in response before leaving him to his shit, and going to look for dirt on men who would be fighting pissed if they knew I was investigating them.

As I worked around the clubhouse and watched the men who came and went, I couldn’t help thinking of Gretchen. She had been more engaged in everything we’d done the past few weeks since she started seeing the therapist that Ever suggested, but I made it easy on her by always walking, taking her car, or my truck to avoid the bike. No matter how patient I was able to be with her, there was still the worry in the back of my mind that I’d never be able to get her on my bike again. Even hearing Merc tell me she’d still be welcome if she couldn’t, the idea didn’t sit right with me. I wanted her there. I needed her there with her arms wrapped around me. Long before I agreed to join the MC to check into things, I knew in my heart that I belonged on a motorcycle. The open road, the wind, and the feeling of freedom all called to me and I answered willingly more often than not. I just couldn’t imagine not being able to share that with the woman I loved.

‘The woman I loved.’ That thought rolled around in my head for a little bit, but every time I tested it out, all I could taste was the truth of it on my tongue as the words were whispered from my lips.

I parked my bike out front of Permanent Marks and got ready to walk up to Gretchen’s apartment. I was stunned to turn around and see her standing there looking a bit unsure, but excited all at once. “Hey, G. Ready for dinner?”

“Can we take the bike?” She asked, seemingly shocking herself as much as she had surprised me with her question.

“Are you sure you’re ready to try again?”

She shrugged her delicate little shoulders at me and flicked her long white-blond locks behind her back. “I have to try again sometime, right?”

“Okay,” I drew the word out, unsure of making this attempt so soon again after she started therapy. “How about we do this?” I pointed to my Harley. “Why don’t we just try a quick trip around the block first, that way we don’t get too far away if anything happens.”

Gretchen bit into her lip that was stained red by whatever lip product she had used that day. She moved closer. “I’d like that,” she insisted. We both geared up, got on, and took off for a quick spin around the block that would hopefully lead to us riding out to dinner instead of walking. We were half way around when the shaking started. I pulled over immediately and hopped off to pull her into my arms.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized needlessly. “I thought I could do it.”

“It’s okay. G, we’re not anyone else’s timetable here. Just yours. When you’re ready, it will happen.”

“What if I never get over it?”

“Then you never do.”

“You’d be okay with me never being able to ride with you?”

“As much as I would love to ride off into the sunset with you wrapped around me, it’s not the most important thing in the world to me. You are. I’ll take you any way I can get you, G.”

“You really mean that, don’t you?”

“With all my heart!” It was the closest I would come to unleashing my true feelings on her. I didn’t think she was ready to hear ‘I love you’ from me just yet. We would get there too, one day.

“Thank you,” she whispered into my chest as the tremors that rocked her body began to subside.

“Come on, let’s get you back to the shop. You can sit with Ever a minute while I go grab my bike and bring it back.”

“I can walk while you do that.”

“Babe, you’re not walking the block by yourself. Let’s go.”

“But,” she started to say something before I cut her off.

“No ‘buts’, G. I’m walking you back.” She huffed in frustration, but I could tell she was also thankful that I was taking the time to do it. Baby steps. That’s what we were working with. I ended up leaving her in Ever’s hands as I went to retrieve my ride, and then we walked to a local seafood restaurant together.

“I’m going to get over these panic attacks,” Gretchen insisted as we were seated. All I could do was smile at her insistence. She was wearing a coral-colored tank top with white billowy ankle-length skirt when I got back from grabbing my bike. She had been wearing black jeans and a gray band t-shirt before the disastrous attempt at a ride.

“What’s the deal with the change of outfits?”

“Oh!” The blush that stole across her cheeks was adorable. “I, um, well, I was going to wear this to start with. Then I thought, maybe we could try to ride so I changed. Since the motorcycle ride didn’t work out, changing back seemed like the thing to do.”

“You look beautiful,” I told her, and I meant it. I liked this look on her. She could rock the dark and dangerous look even better than the old-school pinup model look she used to favor. There was something about seeing the sweet southern girl underneath those layers that squeezed at my chest though.

“I know it’s different,” she started to say, obviously a little self-conscious about the change.

“Please, don’t apologize for looking the way you do right now. I love it, G. You are stunning in anything you put on, but I’d like to think the change is because you’re feeling different these days, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The woman before me is exactly who I want to spend my time with, no matter how you dress up the outside.”

Gretchen’s eyes misted over and her lips parted in awe before she finally pulled herself together. “That was sweet of you to say.”

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