Page 39 of A Twist of Fate

“Since probably ever, because if I know my brother, he followed up every sincere thing he ever said with a fart joke.”

That had me laughing because she wasn’t wrong. Toby had a wicked sense of humor, but also one that a 12-year-old boy could appreciate. We were laughing about it still, trying to come up with jokes Toby might have made today as we walked through the doors of the house she now shared with her husband, Evan, or Joker, as he was known to the club.

As soon as we walked through the door, the shift in mood was apparent. It felt as though I was swimming in tension as someone called out my name. “Gretchen!”

I turned to see Ever standing there looking shocked to see me with her sister. “Hey Ever.” And that was just about when the drama started. I accidentally let the cat out of the bag about Anna working for my sister being the reason we were hanging out together, and apparently Anna’s husband hadn’t known that she had gotten a job, was working, or that she had a baby doctor appointment today. I felt about two feet tall as I stood there bad-mouthing Joker, only to have him fill me and Ever in on the fact that Anna hadn’t been speaking to him at all. For weeks. There was just nothing but awkward silence between them. Toby would have known what to do for his little sister, but I was at a loss.

After going at it with Joker and realizing that Anna had been part of their communication problem, Ever and I left the two of them to sort their own mess out.

“So, you went with Anna today, huh?”

“Yes, she called to ask me as a favor because you were busy.”

Ever sighed. “I didn’t mean to let her down like that. Honestly, I thought Evan was going to be there too, which is why I didn’t feel as bad about not showing up.”

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell him about it.”

“I can’t believe they haven’t actually talked in all this time. I’d like to just go in there and knock some sense into the both of them.”

I laughed at that. “They’ll figure things out in their own time. I keep asking myself what Toby would have done if he were here, but he told her not to mess around with the man until after she was 18 and she didn’t listen to him, so I can’t get past the fact that he would be upset with her.”

“Wait, Toby knew about them?”

“No,” I told her. “Toby knew that she had a crush on him. He asked her to wait, and as far as I know she did. At least, she did right up until Toby died and decided that life was short and never promised to us.”

“I feel like the worst sister in the world some days. I never knew she had a crush on him until after they got caught together. I never knew about you and Toby either. Well, I had an idea that something was going on, but I never pushed for the truth from either of you. Maybe if I had…”

I cut her off right there. “One thing I’ve learned is that living in the past, and wishing you made different choices along the way, only worked to hold you prisoner to that past. You can’t think like that. None of it was your fault either. People do what they do and hide what they hide. You weren’t meant to know those things until you did.” We stood there in silence for a few moments out by Ever’s car.

“Are you okay now?”

“I have good days and bad ones. Hearing Anna’s baby today, the heartbeat, it took me back in time to when I watched Toby’s face as he heard our baby. If I’m being honest, there was a moment where my heart ached so bad, I wished to join them all over again.”

“Just a moment?” Her question hung in the air for a moment before I answered.

“Yeah, just a moment, because then this peacefulness just washed through me and I swear, it felt like he was there with us, and I just basked in that feeling for a minute. Once it went away, Anna and her baby were all I saw. No more of my past screaming at me, only the future where Toby couldn’t be here to help his little sister, but I was.”

“That’s a nice way of looking at things.” We were both quiet again for a moment. “Gretchen, I’m really sorry about how everything happened when Toby…” she took a moment to collect herself before continuing. “After everything, in the hospital, you were right. We shouldn’t have just left you there. My parents, it’s taken them some time to get back together. They split up for a while afterward. It felt like my family was falling apart. Not that it’s an excuse, just that I didn’t mean to forget about you in all of that.”

“Ever,” I sighed out. “I’m not going to lie to you and say I didn’t blame all of you. I did. I blamed everyone but Anna. I figured she didn’t really have a choice in things. My grief didn’t allow for your feelings, your grief, or what your parents were going through though. We all had our own stuff to deal with, and that’s something I’ve taken a lot of time to think about recently. I don’t blame you anymore. I’m just sorry we lost all this time while I was stubborn and trying to heal all by myself. I could have just as easily went to you as the other way around. Thank God Anna landed right in my lap one day when she was looking for a job, otherwise I might still be hiding away from everyone.”

“I need to get going. I promised Momma Luce an Anna update.”

“Why doesn’t she come check on her?”

“They’re trying to give the two of them time to sort things out. Momma thinks if she comes over, that Anna will just revert back to being the child instead of the adult.”

I laughed. “I don’t think she has to worry about that. Anna isn’t ready to let anyone take responsibility for her or that baby.”

“Yeah, she’s stubborn to a fault about that.”

“Well, I think it probably runs in the family and the friend circle. We could all use a dose of stubborn-ease.” We both laughed at that idea, because it was true. “I’m going to head back to my apartment. Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, and thanks for going with her today, Gretchen. I know it meant a lot to her. I didn’t realize she would be by herself if I didn’t go.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad I got to go. Tell your mom hello for me.”

“I will, but maybe one day you can tell her yourself?” It was definitely a question, and one I could only nod my head to. I’d faced Toby’s sisters now, surely it wouldn’t hurt any more to speak to his mom, right?

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