Page 20 of A Twist of Fate

“Yeah, but you’re my old lady, so if the club votes it down, you’ll have to do it too. Are you sure you’ll be able to handle it?”

“I’ve managed so far, right?”

“Yeah, you have, and why’s that?” He asked as he ran his fingers up and down my sides, tickling me along the way.

I giggled out my answer in response. “Because I know you love me, and I have nothing to worry about.”

“You’re damn right!” His growl was hot and heavy just before he pounced on me and showed me exactly how much he loved me by worshipping my body.

Later, as we dressed, worry started settling in. “Are you sure it’s not too much to drop in their laps all at once? You know, us being together and the pregnancy?”

“No way, baby. They’re going to love you. Ever already loves you. She’s going to be so excited about becoming an aunt that she won’t be able to be angry about the fact that we were dating so long without telling her.”

I gave him a rather dubious glare then. “I hope you know what you’re doing, because I’m not so sure about that. I might need to find new employment after this announcement.”

“I thought you had faith in how my sister was going to react to the news? How did amazing sex with me change your mind?” I glared at him before laughter bubbled up from me instead. He was right. Being relaxed by an orgasm or three shouldn’t have led to my sudden panic. I couldn’t explain it. Maybe it was just because we were so close to the actual moment. “Besides, you don’t need to find new employment at all, baby. You can stay home and raise our son.”

“Our son, huh?”

“Yeah, has to be a boy, babe.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I’m not sure this daddy can handle a little girl just yet. How the hell would I ever be able to trust anyone with her? Look at my family’s track record.”

“Aw, Toby, what happened to Ever wouldn’t happen to our baby girl.”

“I know, it’s just that I keep getting this weird feeling that I won’t be there to protect my daughter.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve had nightmares where things happen, and I can’t be there to protect her. It’s horrible. I wake up feeling so fucking bereft and incapable.”

“If it helps, I think that’s normal for parents during pregnancy. We can’t help worrying and wondering if we’re going to be enough.”

“Yeah? You having nightmares too?”

“No, but only because I worry about everything during the light of day. I worry that if we have a boy, I won’t be able to teach him well enough how to be a good man. I never worry about our daughter though, because she’ll have the best example of what to expect from a man when she grows up.”

Toby reached over and took me in his arms. “I love you, Gretchen. So fuckin’ much. Thank you for trusting me to love you.”

“Aww, babe, I love you just as much. More. We’ve got this. Girl. Boy. It doesn’t matter. As long as we’re together, they’ll be loved beyond measure. I know that the same way I know how to breathe. It’s just natural with you.”

“How the hell did I get so lucky?” He breathed the words into the base of my neck, lips and stubble tickling the spot as he spoke. “I need to thank Ever. If I’d never gone into the shop to talk to her, I never would have found you, and you’re my everything, Gretch.”

“We would have found one another, Toby. I believe that, because you’re the piece of my soul I never knew I was missing.”

No more words were spoken for a while after that. He just held on to me so tightly, it seemed like he was afraid I was a mirage that would just slip away on a trick of light. I couldn’t blame him because I felt it too. This fragile existence took as often as it gave and Toby and I both wanted forever instead. If I could just learn how to bargain with Fate, he would be with me always.

“We better get going, sweetheart. My family dinners are sacred to my mother since all the shit that happened with Ever.”

“I’m ready,” I told him as we both moved to head out the door and make our way to finally – finally – unleash our secret and share our baby news.

I’d like to be able to tell my story, what happened between the moment we left the house, to take that final ride on his motorcycle before I was too pregnant to safely ride any longer. I’d like to have those minutes worth of memories back, but they’re gone. It’s like the moment I felt the bike slip out from underneath us, the very second I knew he’d lost control, my minutes with him started slipping away. Thinking back on it now, I can see everything that happened so clearly. I can feel him lift my leg as we were going down. He saved me from more harm by making sure I wasn’t trapped under the bike the way he had been. I rolled with the fall, trying to lessen the impact on my body. When I stopped, I was greeted with the view of Toby’s head bouncing off the concrete. I knew it rattled him, maybe knocked him out momentarily, because his eyes rolled back and he just lie there with his motorcycle pinning his leg under him. I knew he had to feel the burn from the pipes, or maybe the piece of metal I could see stuck in his leg. I couldn’t hear anything. It was as if someone had turned the sound off and everything just moved through fog so thick, half-speed was all that could be managed.

I shook my head, trying to clear the cobwebs, but that just hurt. A cramp in my abdomen drew my attention just as my hearing kicked back in. A woman was yelling angrily. I glanced back up in time to see her. The bitch who had been causing us so much grief over the past few months was coming towards me with something in her hands. I saw the menace in her eyes, the intent to do me harm. I glanced back to Toby, ready to say my goodbyes to him, but his lips were moving. He was yelling something at her. My mind was still fuzzy, not fully processing, but it stopped her in her tracks. She moved toward him, yelling back at him as she went, then she was standing there screaming at Toby. I remember the terror I saw in his eyes as they locked on me for just one precious moment before warmth spread outward trailing down my thighs…

I had only looked away for a moment. Just one moment before everything I loved was ripped away from me.

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