Page 39 of The Princess & the Prospect

“Look around, we’re in the hub of Charleston. Leases on Market St. places aren’t exactly cheap.”

“I guess, but she does do a lot of business. Plus, she also does weddings and big events too. She’s talked about training me to be a photographer too and hiring me on for more of that once the baby is born.”

“I thought you wanted to be a writer?” She worried her hands together nervously before answering.

“I do, but I kind of like the photography too,” she admitted.

“It’s okay to enjoy more than one thing. It gives you something to fall back on if one or the other isn’t bringing in the income or job satisfaction that you want.”

“I guess so. Though, I don’t think the job satisfaction will matter quite so much as being able to pay the bills.”

“You don’t ever have to worry about paying the bills, Anna. I have you covered.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I just did.”

“But, what if things don’t work out? Don’t you think your new woman down the road will have a problem with you paying my bills too?”

“There isn’t going to be another woman down the road, Anna. I keep trying to tell you that, and you’re not getting it.” She gave me a dubious look before turning all of her focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

“We’ll see,” she murmured before her slight movements turned us toward the Crab House near South Market and State St.

“I thought pregnant women weren’t supposed to eat fish or something?” I asked as we were seated.

“Good thing I want the house burger then, huh? Besides, I love the smell of the seafood. If I can’t eat it, I should at least be able to smell it, right?”

“I suppose. Isn’t that like teasing yourself with what you can’t have?”

“I don’t know. You tell me?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked, curious as to where she was going with that.

“Having me around and claiming you want only me has to be difficult on you when I refuse to be with you right now.” Her voice was low, and beyond that, she also seemed as though she feared the answer. I understood that. I had put that fear there with my own actions, and I was fucked, because there was no taking that away from her now. Only time and rebuilding trust through my actions would help ease it.

“If you’re asking how I will manage, I’m going to tell you that I’ll be ‘just fine’. Anna, I’m not a young boy. I have control of my hormones.” At her withering glare, I amended my words. “I was overseas for 13 months on my last tour and celibate the whole time. It’s not a difficult thing to do. The promise of having you with me again eventually is sure as fuck better than the promise of coming back home to empty, unfulfilling encounters. You’re worth waiting for, beautiful.”

She blushed again, as she always did when I called her that. Then she glanced up at me with serious eyes. “What if I can’t do it? What if I can’t get past everything to go there again?”

“I don’t want to dwell on what ifs, Anna. I will say, we’ll cross the hurdles as we come to them, but no matter what, my first priority is to see that you are never hurt again, at least not in the ways I’ve hurt you. I’m sure there will be arguments and fights at some point. I don’t think there’s a healthy relationship out there without their share. My other priority is to make sure that we can maintain a friendly relationship no matter what, because you’re right, we have a child we made together. Ever was right, we don’t need to do to our baby what either of her parents ended up doing to her.”

She was quiet for so long that the waitress managed to bring us our food and move away again before she spoke. “I want to be able to move past everything. I need you to know that, but I don’t want to lie either. I’m not sure that I can. There are things about our wedding day and night that haunt me when I close my eyes. If I knew how to make that stop, I would. I just don’t yet. Ever got me an appointment to see her therapist. I went to see her and, while she was okay with taking me on, she suggested that because of our circumstances I might benefit from speaking to someone who could help with us as a couple in conjunction with personal therapy.”

“I’ll do it,” I agreed.

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. No question. I wish we had been in a place in the beginning to do just that instead of letting hurt feelings and mostly misplaced anger rule actions.”

“Okay,” she hummed out before popping a French fry in her mouth. “I’ll set something up and let you know.”

“You do that.”

We ate in peace for a while, just enjoying the atmosphere and the food. “When do you have to be back?” I asked the question as I tucked my cleaned plate to the side and watched her trying to tackle the rest of her burger without getting too messy.

She flipped her cell phone over and glanced down at the time. “I should be getting back soon, actually. Beth isn’t stringent on my lunch break being just an hour, but I don’t like to take advantage,” she insisted.

“I know you don’t, beautiful. Finish up and I’ll walk you back before I have to head in to work for a little bit.”

“Will you be coming back home tonight?” I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t feel good to hear that question from her lips. She called our house her home now, and she wanted to know if I would be there with her. My heart ticked up a couple beats per minute.

“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away, Anna.”

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