Page 26 of The Princess & the Prospect

“Yeah, that’s a lot to take in. Anna, I know our start has been less than perfect, and we’re just getting to the point where we can talk about things…”

“But?”

“But every time I hear you talk about the future, it’s like a forgone conclusion that your future won’t have me in it. First, the apartment you were saving for. Now, you’re already talking about another father for your future children. Did I screw things up so horribly already that there’s not even a hint of a chance that it will be me in that family picture you’re drawing in your mind?”

How was I supposed to respond to that? “I, um, I guess I didn’t think you would want to be in the picture. Other than being this baby’s father, obviously,” I tacked on so as not to leave him out of that. “You haven’t acted like you want me around, or that you even like me, so I’ve assumed you were just counting down until we didn’t have to be married anymore.”

“That’s not true,” he insisted.

My brows raised in surprise and he huffed out a frustrated breath before running his hands through the hair that had started growing longer since we were together. It was curling at the ends now where it was starting to hand down his neck a little. I liked him with the fresh military cut, but he had a different sort of appeal like this too.

“I know that I didn’t behave well at the wedding we had, and I can’t apologize enough for that. I was still angry with you then, and hadn’t taken the time to see things from your perspective. I realized after speaking to Deck and Merc that you had pretty good reasons for doing what you did, and that if the shoe were on the other foot I might have done the same. Well, probably not the same, but you know what I’m getting at. I understand now. I don’t hate you, Anna. I don’t hold anything against you either. The only person between the two of us I’m angry with still is myself for fucking things up so much worse than they needed to be because I couldn’t swallow my damn pride sooner.”

“Okay,” I told him. “Well, we agreed to see where things go. I think it’s best if we leave the dreams of the future on hold outside of hoping for a healthy, happy little baby.” I offered him a small smile. “Let’s just see where things go from there. I’d really like to be friends with you again.”

“We were never friends, Anna.”

“We have to be now though, for the baby.”

“What if I want there to be more? I miss the way we were together in the beginning. You captivated me, Anna.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. I thought we were going to make this a process and work on starting from down at the bottom of the barrel before crawling out and starting over in a completely new one?”

He grinned. “Where’s your sense of adventure.”

I pointed to my belly. “This happened the last time I got adventurous. Now, I’ll take the safe path to make sure I’m doing right by my baby. It’s one less thing for me to fear when I close my eyes at night.”

Joker pulled me into another hug then. “Okay, Anna. We’ll do this your way. I don’t want to continue being strangers though. Never seeing you, or knowing what’s going on with you, it’s been killing me.”

“Why don’t you just move back in so we can work on getting to know one another again. It seems like the only way that’s going to happen since we both have pretty busy schedules right now.” I couldn’t believe that I had just spoken those words, and judging by the shocked expression on his face, neither could Joker.

“Are you serious?”

“Well, yes. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.” When his eyes lit up with interest, I tacked on my caveat. “You still need to sleep in another room. I think you should take your room back and I’ll just stay in the guest room. We don’t need to take the bed out of there just yet.”

“How about you stay right where you are since you’re already comfortable and I’ll take the guest room until the baby comes or we decide differently.”

I gave him a narrow-eyed appraisal at the suggestion that our living arrangements might change before the baby comes. It was clear that he meant for us to be sharing a bed. Though I couldn’t for the life of me think of why he’d want that. I saw myself in the mirror every day. Pregnancy was not doing nice things to my body. Well, It had filled out my boobs quite nicely, but other than that, I was just starting to look like I was smuggling a small melon under my shirt, topped off by two oversized apples, maybe large oranges. Crap. I was hungry. “I need to eat.” I stood and moved to the kitchen.

“That was weird,” he told me as he followed me to the kitchen.

“Um, I just thought of melons and apples and it hit me.”

“Why were you thinking of fruit in the middle of our conversation about me moving in?”

I shrugged my shoulders playing it off. “I don’t know. I’m pregnant. My weird hormone stuff is always messing with my train of thought.”

“That’s a real thing?”

“Sure it is,” I told him as I turned my back to make sure he couldn’t see the grin on my face.

“I can see your reflection in the window,” he pointed out as his cell phone dinged. Well, shoot. I guess I was busted. It wasn’t exactly a lie. Pregnancy was making me feel and act weird. Just yesterday I ate a peanut butter and grilled cheese sandwich and washed it down with a strange apple juice and milk concoction. I’m surprised I didn’t throw up. Old me would have tossed her cookies at just the thought. Pregnant me wolfed it down and wished for more. I didn’t want to tell him that thought. I was embarrassed for myself.

I glanced over my shoulder when he grew quiet and didn’t say anything more. He was staring at the text he’d received on his phone and whatever he was reading had his brows furrowed, and he looked sort of angry. “Everything okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, sorry,” he told me as he tucked his phone back into his pocket. “That was Deck. I have to run to the clubhouse real quick. I’ll be back in about an hour or so though, okay?”

“Sure,” I told him and he was off and running out the door.

---